Yahoo Confessions

[Pestis]

I decided to find nasty stories about cheating white girlfriends I had read at Yahoo Confessions.

My white girlfriend of 7 months, whom I love and who told me that she loved me, went and slept with a black guy, after we broke up for a month. After that month, I contacted her to try and get back together, unknowing of what she did, when she told me, she is seeing a black guy and has slept with him already. When she told me, I broke down and cried and told her that I loved her and that she has hurt my feelings. To which she said: "we were not together, so she did nothing wrong...", but also told me, that after hearing me say that I loved her...."she wanted to come back to me too, and that I am the only man she loved...". Her attitude of doing nothing wrong is technically correct, because at that time we were technically not together. However, I am finding it very hard to understand that she could just sleep with another man, so quickly and freely. I am having issues at two levels: (1) that she is seeing someone so quickly after we broke up and has slept with him, and (2) that it was a Black guy. I know this is a racist thought, and after analyzing my thoughts, I find that I may be a racist after all, but I am finding it impossible to change how I am feeling towards the situation and towards her. I am still drawn to her emotionally and I still love her and wish I could find a way to resolve this problem, but, I now find that I do not want to touch her nor want to kiss her nor be in physical contact with her. It is almost like I have lost the physical desire for her but the emotional desire remains. I don’t know what to do? Please help. I love her, and don’t wish to let her go, but I also am finding very difficult to keep hold of her from my own side, even though she said she would like to get back with me now. Every time I see her face now, I see the black guy having sex with her. I can’t get this out of my head….What can I do? I know I must be racist, but Please help

 

[Pestis]

My girlfriend and I are both 18. Both never cheated. Both going out for ayear Hi, today I was talking with my gf of over one year about our secrets. She told me that she likes to watch porn that has black guys in it. She has dated an ebony gentleman a few years ago but ended up leaving him. We both have a strong relationshp together and I wouldnt leave her for the world. She feels the same way I do. She means the world to me. So what should I do forum? I know I should be fine with her having a fantasy, but I cant help but feel uncomfortable. Should I just suck it up and stop being a little bitch or what? Thanks

EDIT: Im not racist by any means, and I dont feel inadequate when it comes to sex. I just feel like a black guy is the polar opposite of me.

Spelling is the same as I copy-pasted it.

 

[Pestis]

My (25F) boyfriend (31M) and I were watching Californication last week and a scene came up about biracial dating. He asked me if I had ever been with a black guy. I answered yes (I had rebound sex with an african american about two years prior to meeting SO).

Here is the problem. He asked me in passing a couple months into dating if I'd ever been with a black guy. I lied and said I hadn't. I knew it was something I might be judged for, I wasn't totally comfortable with the event of sleeping with that person in the first place, and also felt it wasn't his business at the time regarding who I had slept with. A long time ago he had established he would never associate himself with a white girl that had slept with a black guy. And now he is devastated. He just cannot understand the why behind the attraction. He's really stuck on that aspect. I've told him we're all just people and you can be attracted to whoever you want. Also, people make bad decisions (not saying the racial aspect was bad but I was ******* when I hooked up with this person and that is out of character for me- I was in a bad place at the time bc of my ex who treated me like ******* and this new guy was being so awesome towards me) and that you have to accept people's past's. He doesn't get it.

We have worked past the lying aspect. I should have just told him in the first place since it was such a big deal to him. But now he has these visuals of me with a black guy and it's disturbing him to no end. My SO is a stubborn guy and has expressed how his aversion to biracial couples has been ingrained in him since he was young (his dad is fairly racist). I did not view sleeping with this person based on his skin color. He was a great person, very kind, funny, well educated, cared about his health- just a good human. What happened, happened and I can't take anything back nor do I want to because that was a growing opportunity for me.

I'm just having trouble wrapping my brain around how my SO seems to have no ability to let it go. Previous to this, we had talked about moving in together, *******, and buying a house. He has hinted at proposing a couple times and I know he's discussed it with his friends. For the first time in my life I've seen a potential for having a life partner and vice versa from his perspective. But, to throw it all away just because he can't get over his racist thoughts? It makes me infuriated and hurt.

The last week has been really rough since I am in grad school and have had presentations and am also working nearly full time. I'm exhausted and don't know what to do. He is completely devastated and doesn't know what to do either. I've never seen him cry until now. He is truly broken from this and is scared he won't see me in the same light or be able to treat me as well as he did before. I want to be with him but these thoughts he is having make me question things. How can I be with someone that is this intolerant?

I guess I just needed to vent a great deal. But does anyone see potential for this continuing? I'd appreciate any thoughts. Especially from anyone that has been in a biracial relationship or experience with a racist.

Edit: So we had a long talk/fight on and off for about 4 hours two nights ago and it came down to me answering the question "Would you ever sleep with a black person again?" My reply was "I don't know, it's hypothetical. Probably not since I'm not usually attracted but yeah there is that chance." He did not like that answer so he kept prodding for the "no" that he wanted. I finally blew up in his face that he needed to "get the fuck over the fact that yeah there is a small chance of it happening in the future but how the fuck can I know"? I had the intention of leaving because I feel like he is in a way controlling my future (even if I were to never sleep with another race again- asking me to promise that is ridiculous). We calmed down for a bit and then things just hit him. It was like this epiphany that what I was telling him was never meant to be personal and that everyone is entitled to their own sexual experiences. After all, it's not like I was raped by a black guy, I just had consensual sex. His thinking is very black and white (no pun intended) so the fact that he was able to make this revelation on his own was pretty ground breaking. He also revealed that two black guys tried to ******* him when he was younger, which I understand now how he has a certain level of PTSD or aversion to black people. I'm willing to ride this out for a while but I think my feelings have changed towards him. I don't know if I can truly get over his reaction.

tl;dr: Boyfriend found out I had relations with a black guy in my past and doesn't know if he can be with me anymore. Can this be fixed?

 

[Pestis]

I[F21] showed my boyfriend [M21] some vacation photos I had taken with my black boyfriend few years back. He got mad and is ice cold towards me right now.​

I was showing my boyfriend photos from Greece when I was there a few years ago. he is a big history buff so we cuddled in bed and looked through the photos. I was there with my black boyfriend so he was of course in a lot of those photos. my new boyfriend asked who he was and when I said it was my ex-boyfriend he replied with a pained "oh ok" so we stopped looking at photos and watched some netflix instead.
he got really quiet and didnt want to cuddle anymore, he just sat and read a book. after a few hours i just had to ask him what was up with his reaction to the photos with my boyfriend?

He said something like "why would you even date me? if you like black guys so much why don't you date black guys? what's the point of being with me? im not your type"

I didn't even know I had a type. I just thought he was cute and nice so we dated. He didn't like my answer, got upset, we fought and he left.

I don't really understand his reaction, it was actually very shocking. He has never come off as racist in the year I have known him, more like the opposite. He is a really sweet and fun guy and this was very out of character for him. that was a week ago now and he didnt text me once. nothing. at first i expected an apology but got nothing so i started texting him and he is really distant and cold in his responses. i ask him what I did wrong and he doesnt answer me and avoids the subject.

i ask him if he wants to break up and he said no and then stopped responding. what the hell is up with him?

tl;dr: i showed vacation photos to my current boyfriend. my black ex-bf was in some of the pictures. we fought and he left. he is really distant right now and it hurts.

 

[Pestis]

More weeping boyfriends

I found out my girlfriend's ex was black and​

I never considered myself racist or had anything against African Americans or black people from any country. I grew up around black people and had a few good black friends in college and high school. But yesterday when my girlfriend admitted that her ex-boyfriend was black I couldn't help but feel immediately upset. Its easy to say its no big deal but its DIFFERENT when its your girlfriend. Her ex-boyfriend's race just came up as part of a larger story and I suddenly found myself caught up by it and very angry. While she was telling the story I played with the idea of just ghosting her and never talking to her again. After 1 year together. Its so immature and stupid I know. I ended up not bringing it up, realizing I would come off as a crazy racist insecure guy but my anger spilled into a massive fight about something completely else.

I felt so insecure because the obvious thought about dick size came up and I'm not lacking in that department but my dick isn't 8 inches either. Like I know its just a "stereotype" that black guys are bigger but in college and high school locker rooms all my black friends had substantially larger penises so I'm pretty sure her ex-boyfriend did too. It's really not anything deeper than dick size and sex though, like I don't think she's tainted for dating a black guy or anything like that. It just that it hurts my ego to think that she was with a guy who was bigger down there.

But then I kind of sat with the thought, and realized that while I don't feel great about it, there's nothing I can do it about it. I do love her and she's the best relationship I've been in so far. If she's been with bigger or smaller dicks shouldn't matter to me. It's not like that takes away from us having sex. I think about past girls with skinnier waists or bigger asses or anything things better than her and it doesn't mean I love her any less or am any less turned on having sex with her.

I'm still fluctuating. Like one second I feel completely fine like 'who cares what dick she's had before?' and the next second I feel insecure and gross about it. And then I feel guilty for being racist and caring about something like that. The whole thing is just exhausting and makes me not want to be around her or spend time with her. I loved being around her because she would constantly gush about how attractive I am, and more attractive than other guys she's dated but to think that I fall short in a very important category like that really gets to me in a way I cant describe.

 

[whiteMom4BBC]

My girlfriend and I are both 18. Both never cheated. Both going out for ayear Hi, today I was talking with my gf of over one year about our secrets. She told me that she likes to watch porn that has black guys in it. She has dated an ebony gentleman a few years ago but ended up leaving him. We both have a strong relationshp together and I wouldnt leave her for the world. She feels the same way I do. She means the world to me. So what should I do forum? I know I should be fine with her having a fantasy, but I cant help but feel uncomfortable. Should I just suck it up and stop being a little bitch or what? Thanks

EDIT: Im not racist by any means, and I dont feel inadequate when it comes to sex. I just feel like a black guy is the polar opposite of me.

Spelling is the same as I copy-pasted it.

I was the same as you when I was your age. I am now a full blown cuckold.

The girlfriend who first made me into it, behind my back. Knew I had an interracial porn collection where all the women were practically spitting images of her. It was like seeing her having sex that was a whole lot better than no matter what I did. Was considerably much better, and if I loved her. Shouldn’t have impeding her from enjoying it while I could. Even ashamed, embarrassed and jealous. Would have been imagining was happening whenever her and I were bed any how. Why not just admit you’ve been addicted to black dick since you first saw what it did to chicks in even amateur flicks. You’re here dude. Take advantage that she gave you a fair heads up that she’s going to be fucking black men in college. Obvi. Tell her too that you want to be there and watch her. It will make her that much more comfortable if her boyfriend is there making her the center of his sexual fantasies while she’s living out what she. I can absolutely assure you. Will be doing.


Or I know a guy who will do private tributes of her for you. Shoot, maybe for free if you let him send it to her. LOL true, but obviously you’ll want to see what she could be having. That you’re pretending she is whenever you two are, can’t call it fucking. Letting your penis in. Before you ask if you can be there instead of her cheating or during a fight some night. See for yourself a video of her going down on you. Then watch a bbc talk dirty and drop a load bigger than your penis all over her. It will let you know without question that yeah. You’re desperate to see it happen. But be sure not to Jack off during the real life interaction. You’ll hate her for doing what you wanted. And be powerless to stop it. Then hate yourself and feel worthless. Until the next time you’re horny and you calling her to see if she will let you watch again.

also bbc4her@solution4u.com does private fakes. Even makes you digitally sign an agreement that if the images end up on the web you’ll be the one who is held responsible. He considers the images and videos so realistic. That uploading for anyone else to see would be Ike digital *******. So, yeah, see if watching her on a fake version helps you determine if you, just face it. Gotta watch her scream out louder than you knew she could in a pitch you discover makes your eyes cry and a body quivering as he picks up like she weighs as much as a stuffed ******* and fucks her long enough to where you’ve seen enough. Are convinced you made a mistake. But trust me. You will less than a week later. Be watch your phone with tears in your eyes and uncontrollable boners that let you cum again and again making you wish you didn’t walk out on her.

But yeah email that skilled 3D artist who can make video fakes of BBC in place of your has to be white, penis and sends a real shocking visual of what your puny pink stick, even if above average really isn’t reaching.

let her experience sex as best as it can be. Or go slow. Make us all a video of her watching interracial porn and playing along with her gift for no reason. BBC dildo. We all love a white girl learning.

If all you remember from my rant is one thing. Her telling you that she likes interracial porn. Was her confessing she is going to try it one way or another. If you don’t believe me. Find a heavily black populated neighborhood. Have her dress with her hair in two braids. Wear big round earrings, paint her nails black, and wear a Black Lives Matter tee cut into thirds where here cleavage is displayed, and her bottom boobs are shown. With her belly button showing where black dicks reach and place loads of ownership conversions. Take her out to eat where there is a dance floor and the part of town that’s too scary. She’ll show you what she means by what she looks for (same as you)! In interracial porn

 

[LG007]

omg to think that this is all gone now hurts my heart. there was prolly a goldmine on that site that never had the light of day. id love to hear more stories like this. real stories of white girls cheating for black guys especially when her white bf is racist, or of guys whose girls tell them their fantasies about black guys, and the guys realizing theyre turned on by it, or hearing her and her white girl friends talk about how hot black guys are, guys who become cucks without even knowing what that word means, anything.

 

[Pestis]

omg to think that this is all gone now hurts my heart. there was prolly a goldmine on that site that never had the light of day. id love to hear more stories like this. real stories of white girls cheating for black guys especially when her white bf is racist, or of guys whose girls tell them their fantasies about black guys, and the guys realizing theyre turned on by it, or hearing her and her white girl friends talk about how hot black guys are, guys who become cucks without even knowing what that word means, anything.

Tons of wonderful stories disappered in entropy. For example, one college girl wrote about her black stepdad who would fuck her before she went to a date with white guys. He took her virginity and she didn't hate him. Actually, she did care of him and wanted to share her conflicted emotions.

That black dude had a wicked sense of humour. He took delight to cum inside the girl when she was preparing for a date. When the poor white boi came he would tell him how the girls need the eternity to dress up and apply make up, while the girl was douching her pussy.

 

[fbwanger]

I decided to find nasty stories about cheating white girlfriends I had read at Yahoo Confessions.

My white girlfriend of 7 months, whom I love and who told me that she loved me, went and slept with a black guy, after we broke up for a month. After that month, I contacted her to try and get back together, unknowing of what she did, when she told me, she is seeing a black guy and has slept with him already. When she told me, I broke down and cried and told her that I loved her and that she has hurt my feelings. To which she said: "we were not together, so she did nothing wrong...", but also told me, that after hearing me say that I loved her...."she wanted to come back to me too, and that I am the only man she loved...". Her attitude of doing nothing wrong is technically correct, because at that time we were technically not together. However, I am finding it very hard to understand that she could just sleep with another man, so quickly and freely. I am having issues at two levels: (1) that she is seeing someone so quickly after we broke up and has slept with him, and (2) that it was a Black guy. I know this is a racist thought, and after analyzing my thoughts, I find that I may be a racist after all, but I am finding it impossible to change how I am feeling towards the situation and towards her. I am still drawn to her emotionally and I still love her and wish I could find a way to resolve this problem, but, I now find that I do not want to touch her nor want to kiss her nor be in physical contact with her. It is almost like I have lost the physical desire for her but the emotional desire remains. I don’t know what to do? Please help. I love her, and don’t wish to let her go, but I also am finding very difficult to keep hold of her from my own side, even though she said she would like to get back with me now. Every time I see her face now, I see the black guy having sex with her. I can’t get this out of my head….What can I do? I know I must be racist, but Please help

Keep looking at her face and keep...................

 

[Pestis]

More from flaccid pricks.

As requested; My ex gave birth to a black baby (I'm a white male)​

Like the title states, I'm a 23 year old white male and when I was 21 my girlfriend at the time (who I thought I had impregnated) gave birth to a black baby. Kind of a difficult subject to talk about for me but I thought it would be rather therapeutic to share and there seemed to be a general interest. The incident that occurred changed me as a person. I fell into a deep depression afterwards, went to rehab and was hospitalized for mental heath reasons. I don't really know how to provide proof, my brother is a reddittor who can co-sign for me. If a mod could PM me that would be swell.

EDIT*** this is a throwaway account. I'm going to go have a smoke now, I'll be updating this through the night. Just wanted to thank the reddit community, this has been really therapeutic for me. Haven't had the opportunity to tell my side without feeling shameful. Thanks guys!

EDIT2*** WOW. Awesome questions. I've got an Inbox completely full of inspiring messages that I'm printing off so I can read them when I get down. Thanks for the outpouring of love. I'm going to sleep now but I'll update any new questions tomorrow morning!

She called me everyday for two weeks before I changed my number. She would say things like it was 'a drunken accident' and 'it wont happen again' however the ******* of her baby is her ex from a few years prior. I knew she had unresolved feelings for him but I didn't think it involved carrying his baby. Ultimately I only ended up seeing her twice since then.

were you there during the delivery? if so, how did that situation unfold?
I was. I entered shortly after the baby was born. I noticed he had a rather dark pigment (i'm olive so it wasn't that unexpected). As soon as I saw the baby I knew it wasn't mine. Not that I could tell from the physical characteristics (though it was kind of obvious) but instinct told me something was wrong immediately. While in the room I was seeing red. I tasted nothing but charcoal and smelled nothing but sulphur. It was a completely outofbody experience. I was sitting in the room knowing the doctors and nurses were judging me. I knew I'd have to call my friends and family and tell them the supposed mom of my baby was a cheating whore. I ended up asking my ex about an hour after she settled into her new bed in the hospital. She confirmed my worst fears. At that moment I blacked out. Next thing I remember I was having a cigarette outside getting questioned for punching a hole in the wall of the nursery. I cut the hospital a check for $300 for the wall, called a cab and laid in bed for the next 3 weeks calming my nerves with Jack Daniels.

My family felt really bad knowing that I had taken alot of responsibility and worked hard to provide a house for my ex and her baby. In the end no one could relate to how I felt which led to me isolating. ******* & alcohol, that sort of stuff. She looked shocked as hell when they gave her the baby, not that she could have been that surprised

How did your girlfriend think she could get away with it? was she just hoping to beat the odds or was she aware that the baby might not be yours?
She was totally aware it could not be mine. She was a crazy catholic, when I first found out about the baby I suggested adoption as an option. I had been with her for a couple years and loved her dearly so in the end I dropped it and tried to do the right thing. The most painful thing about all of this was the amount of trust she betrayed. I had worked my ass off for 9 months to get a house and was absolutely excited the day the baby was born. She knew I spent hours pacing at night about how I would provide for everything. She knew I worked 40+ hours a week while going to school. In the end I like to think she thought the baby was going to be mine but realistically I think she was trying to trap me into raising the baby she couldn't abort. And that really fucking hurt.

 

[Pestis]

What was the reaction of the medical staff when they saw the baby? Did they look at you strange or anything?
The nurses cleaned the baby and almost immediately left. They kind of had sheepish grins like they were really embarassed for me or something. The doctor, once clean, gave me handshake and kind of half heartedly said congratulations like he knew what I was about to go through. They handled it professionally and I'm glad. It's still kind of blurry because I kind of blacked out a little bit

yeah i really did, it's a shame how things ended. she meant alot to me. The doctor and nurses looked embarrassed. Like they knew what was going on and were kind of scared about what might happen next. I'm not a violent guy at all but I'm sure they've probably seen people in that position that had a different outlook

Did you suspect anything at all while she was pregnant? Did she act like she was guilty? Were there any signs that, in retrospect, you realize you should have paid attention to?
Unfortunately I was caught completely offguard. She had talked about the childs ******* being a good dude and stuff but I never thought anything of it. I think the only thing I could have done differently was hunt down the gentleman who caused all this.

 

[Pestis]

A kindred spirit: I hope this helps, and I definitely feel for you. I dated a girl in college for a while and we got engaged. I always thought something was up because she was always "forgetting her phone" places and not answering when she was out with her friends. Anyway, we get married and things quickly go south. She got very phone protective and stuff around me and we never "consumated" the marriage.
Anyway, 5 weeks into the marriage I go away on a business trip that involved me driving all the way from idaho back to my home in Maryland. In the middle of the night in Indiana my coworker decides that he doesn't want to stop for the night and we continue on through. Needless to say we arrived home earlier than she was expecting and there was a man of another race in my bed. I told everyone to leave and then left myself. I come to find out she was cheating on me almost our entire relationship with 5 other guys and a girl. I narrowly dodged the baby bullet because, thankfully because that would have broken my heart worse.
It took me an entire year to divorce her and in that time I found a new lady. We are getting married at the end of the month and I'm raising the best step-******* a man could wish for. We're also having our first baby in December.
So, I guess, my point is keep your chin up! Not every woman is like this and you'll find the woman that remains faithful to you and sweeps you off of your feet. I did the alcoholic thing for a while too and the best thing is that you're out from under it. You'll find a new girl when you least expect it and everything will click. I promise. Until then Good Luck, I and I'm sure the rest of reddit are pulling for you.

 

[BabyfacedRebel]

What was the reaction of the medical staff when they saw the baby? Did they look at you strange or anything?
The nurses cleaned the baby and almost immediately left. They kind of had sheepish grins like they were really embarassed for me or something. The doctor, once clean, gave me handshake and kind of half heartedly said congratulations like he knew what I was about to go through. They handled it professionally and I'm glad. It's still kind of blurry because I kind of blacked out a little bit

yeah i really did, it's a shame how things ended. she meant alot to me. The doctor and nurses looked embarrassed. Like they knew what was going on and were kind of scared about what might happen next. I'm not a violent guy at all but I'm sure they've probably seen people in that position that had a different outlook

Did you suspect anything at all while she was pregnant? Did she act like she was guilty? Were there any signs that, in retrospect, you realize you should have paid attention to?
Unfortunately I was caught completely offguard. She had talked about the childs ******* being a good dude and stuff but I never thought anything of it. I think the only thing I could have done differently was hunt down the gentleman who caused all this.

The guy in the interview is total joke.
The nerve of this white man, lol.
He talks about "hunting" the guy, like he's some kind of prey.
Hunt him, then what? ******* him? Lynch him?
No, the person he should be hunting, is himself!
******* happens in life, deal with it.

 

[Estrellita]

I decided to find nasty stories about cheating white girlfriends I had read at Yahoo Confessions.

My white girlfriend of 7 months, whom I love and who told me that she loved me, went and slept with a black guy, after we broke up for a month. After that month, I contacted her to try and get back together, unknowing of what she did, when she told me, she is seeing a black guy and has slept with him already. When she told me, I broke down and cried and told her that I loved her and that she has hurt my feelings. To which she said: "we were not together, so she did nothing wrong...", but also told me, that after hearing me say that I loved her...."she wanted to come back to me too, and that I am the only man she loved...". Her attitude of doing nothing wrong is technically correct, because at that time we were technically not together. However, I am finding it very hard to understand that she could just sleep with another man, so quickly and freely. I am having issues at two levels: (1) that she is seeing someone so quickly after we broke up and has slept with him, and (2) that it was a Black guy. I know this is a racist thought, and after analyzing my thoughts, I find that I may be a racist after all, but I am finding it impossible to change how I am feeling towards the situation and towards her. I am still drawn to her emotionally and I still love her and wish I could find a way to resolve this problem, but, I now find that I do not want to touch her nor want to kiss her nor be in physical contact with her. It is almost like I have lost the physical desire for her but the emotional desire remains. I don’t know what to do? Please help. I love her, and don’t wish to let her go, but I also am finding very difficult to keep hold of her from my own side, even though she said she would like to get back with me now. Every time I see her face now, I see the black guy having sex with her. I can’t get this out of my head….What can I do? I know I must be racist, but Please help

Well, in my understanding you must not be a racist to overcome your bad feelings! Just try to persuade your girlfriend you are in love with to quit sleeping with her bbc stud or cosider it no more than an exicting sex encounter. Stay cool as much as possible and find your way back to normal!

 

[Pestis]

My wife gave birth to a (black)baby that clearly isn't mine, and I'm divorcing her. But I'm worried about the relationship between my two ******* and their new half-sister.​

A month ago, my wife gave birth to a black baby girl. We're both white, so she was ****** to admit that the baby was a result of a one night stand last year.

I've started divorce proceedings, although we're still living together for now. Between our two boys(aged 2 and 4, I've had paternity tests for them and they came back positive), her ******* ******* and her having lost her job due to COVID, living together as amicably as possible until the divorce is settled is an unfortunate necessity.

Naturally I have no ill will towards the baby, and I've been disgusted by some of the comments I've heard from family members, friends, coworkers and others, all who seem to be fixated on the racial angle of this. As if the most salient part of this isn't that my wife cheated, but that she cheated with a BLACK man and that the baby is BLACK.

What really worries me is that my two sons might pick up on these narratives. They're too young to really understand what's happening now, but I'm worried that as they grow to understand the situation that they might grow to resent their half-sister for "breaking up their parents marriage". And worse that their resentment might express itself in a racist fashion, under the influence of the aforementioned racist narratives.

Any thoughts on how I should try to influence my *******'s away from that perspective? It probably doesn't help that we live in a suburb with very few black people and their half-sister is really the only black person my children know.

 

[Pestis]

Unfortunately my last post was locked, but I received a lot of helpful PMs from people. I'm particularly thankful for those who've lived through a similar situation(or have family and friends who've done so) and sent me advice on how this affected them and how to navigate the situation. I'd also like to thank the hundreds of mouthbreathing bigots who spammed my inbox.

The big takeaway for me was that if I'd need to lead by example here, not excluding her in any way because of her paternity so that she and my sons would see her as a full member of the family. Also that I need to be more active in confronting the bigoted and ignorant nonsense I've been hearing, and teach my sons to do the same to protect their sister. I've spoken to some of those responsible since and made clear my feelings on this, and that she is to be treated as a member family, and that if I ever find out that they've said things like that to my sons or their sister that they won't be allowed around us anymore.

I've spoken to my wife about this, and we're more or less on the same page. She's been begging me to forgive her and not go through the divorce, but that's not going to happen. Even if I didn't consider the cheating unforgivable, I just dont feel any love for her any more, other then a platonic affection for her as the mom of my children.

My sons are handling this as well as can be expected. The 4 year old doesn't fully understand, but is upset by the change in the household, thankfully he's easily distracted. The 2 year old is thankfully too young to comprehend what's going on, but has definitely picked up on how withdrawn his mom has become. They're both fascinated with their new little sister, so there's that silver lining.

My wife OTOH isn't in good shape at all. She was depressed even before the birth, and now with everything- our divorce, her infidelity being revealed and the backlash from family and friends, PPD, and the exhaustion from raising an *******- she's barely functional. She's seeing a therapist, and I've been pressuring some of our family and friends to be supportive of her because even if they think she deserves it her current state is making it harder for me and our children.

It's become very obvious to me that even after the divorce is finalized we're going to have to live together for a while longer. She's in no shape to be taking care of three ******* without someone else around to support her, and I'm not willing to deprive her of her sons by seeking sole custody. It's also too difficult financially, since she's lost her job because of COVID.

As for the baby girl, she's healthy and fairly easy by baby standards. Since I've been helping care for her, I've bonded with her and I've discussed the possibility of adopting her with my wife. She can't contact the *******, as the only thing she knows about him is his first name. And given our coparenting situation it feels like adopting her as my ******* would be the best outcome for all involved-

HOWEVER, there's been a wrench thrown in that plan. It was brought to my attention that there may be a way of finding the baby's *******, namely by having her DNA tested by AncestryDNA. If the ******* or one of his relatives has also taken the test, we may be able to find him through there DNA match database.

If I'm being completely honest I'm not happy about this. I've already started to think of the baby girl as my *******, and having him in our lives would massively complicate the family dynamic. Plus we live in Seattle and she met him in Philadelphia, so god knows how they'd even make it work if he wanted to be the kid's *******.

However, I recognize that this is a selfish reaction. If we have a chance of finding her biological ******* we owe it to her do so, if only so that she has access to her paternal medical history and so that she can have a relationship with him if and when she chooses to do so. I've read a few accounts by children raised by non-biological parents and a common thread is their desire to meet their lost biological parent, so thats that. We've ordered an AncestryDNA kit for her, and I guess we'll decide our next steps once we get the results back in a couple of months.

 

[Pestis]

Fiance didn't tell me her unborn baby was mixed race​

Throwaway obviously. My mind is going in a million directions right now so forgive me if this is a little scattered. I'm 24 and my fiance is 22. We live in a very conservative area of the USA. Whether you wish it were that way or not, what people think of you can matter. I'm not racist, at least I didn't think I was until 2 hours ago.

Backstory - I started a relationship with my now-fiance 6 months ago. We had briefly dated in high school and kept in touch over the years. She was pregnant with another man's baby but he died unexpectedly shortly after conception. I know he's really dead I saw the obituary (which did not have a picture). She's due in a month. We were going to have a civil wedding in two weeks so the baby is legally mine and we could start our family right, then have a traditional wedding in a year after we saved more money.

She never talked about the baby's ******* and now I think I know why. I was packing up her things to get ready to move and found him in her college yearbook and he's black. Like really really dark skinned black. She confirmed that this was the ******* and not just a guy with the same (white sounding) name. Apparently he was just a hookup and they were not in a relationship and she wasn't careful.

I'm really upset right now. I don't know if it's because she didn't tell me, or I really don't want to have a mixed-race baby and everybody assuming it's not mine and she cheated on me, or that this is really bothering me so much because I'd like to think I'm not racist and this doesn't matter.

 

[Pestis]

Girlfriend has a black-guy fetish. I feel uncomfortable.​

My girlfriend and I are both 18. Both never cheated. Both going out for ayear Hi, today I was talking with my gf of over one year about our secrets. She told me that she likes to watch porn that has black guys in it. She has dated an ebony gentleman a few years ago but ended up leaving him. We both have a strong relationshp together and I wouldnt leave her for the world. She feels the same way I do. She means the world to me. So what do I do reddit? I know I should be fine with her having a fantasy, but I cant help but feel uncomfortable. Should I just suck it up and stop being a little bitch or what? Thanks

EDIT: Im not racist by any means, and I dont feel inadequate when it comes to sex. I just feel like a black guy is the polar opposite of me.

Quit being a little bitch. You asked to know her secrets and now you're complaining because she was honest? She didn't say she wanted to bring in someone else or leave you. This is all in your head. It'd be like if you told her you like redheads (or some other feature she doesn't have).

 

[Pestis]

Girlfriend told me her fantasy is to sleep with a black guy.​

Girlfriend and I were discussing fantasies, she told me hers. Brain is melted, image of girlfriend shattered.

I don't really know what this means, in terms of our relationship, seem enough fucking cuckolding videos that's not for me. I have 0 desire to help her fulfill this fantasy.

Nor do I have any desire of sharing my girlfriend with another man. We have been talking about how many ******* and all we'd want in our future. Now I am thinking if I were to have ******* with her I'd be terrified thinking one might come out half black.

Please don't just call me a racist or dismiss my views. Race has a huge role in sex today and if you look at a lot of porn, the way black men are fetishized they are made to humiliate white men in particular.

So do you guys have any advice for me at this point?

 

[Pestis]

My girlfriend's [23F] ex boyfriend was black. I [24M] don't have a problem with it but she keeps bringing it up​

We've been together a year. We're both white. She had been broken up with her ex-boyfriend for about a month when we met. I didn't know he was black until after we got together. She mentioned it casually like, "Hey, I just want you to know my ex, Z, was black." Me: Okay. Cool.

I thought that was the end of it, but no. She brings it up constantly and randomly. Whenever we see a black guy, whether on TV or real life, she'll bring it up and compare him to the guy. Apparently, her ex looks like Idris Elba but lighter skinned and built like the Rock. He also raps better than Kanye. One time she told me that she thought she was pregnant by him and that the baby would have been black. Okay, yeah, so what? I swear anytime anyone says the word "black" and it doesn't even have to be referring to the people, she'll chime in "My ex was black!"

Honestly, it makes me think she is racist. Or she thinks I am secretly racist which I'm not. I have no problem with black people or black guys dating white women. How do I deal with this?