when you fuck up

[WIcouple]

Mac, thanks for the update.
Vanessa, it's great to see you BOTH seem comitted to staying together and working things out though time and counseling. So many people just seem to give up and head for divorce court when 1 or the other fuck up or they fall on hard times. We may be old, but remember the " for better or worse" part of the vows. LOL And it's great to hear you making an effort.

 

[syscom3]

i don't feel sorry for her. she just had to take a bite from the apple. the drama is funny.

Lowkey, you're one of those rare people that I hope to have a violent, painful and lonely death.

 

[shocked]

Lowkey, you're one of those rare people that I hope to have a violent, painful and lonely death.

Oh come on, he's just being a troll.

 

[shocked]

Everybody, please remember some wise words. As a Cafepress t-shirt I once saw online said, "It's not cheating if my husband watches!"

Live by that if you want to have extramarital sex but not destroy your marriage and hurt the people who love you most.

 

[falcondfw69]

WM, Vanessa and I have been corresponding for a while. She's just really mixed up right now; has some head issues to resolve. She married really young to an older guy, and she's had desires to experience things she's missed out on over the years. Thing is, she's very family oriented and is sincere of her love to her family. I'm not meaning to spill any details of her personal life, but she's just been listening to the wrong people encouraging her to make poor decisions. I'm not sure why she decided to do a confessional with her husband after the fact, but I've suggested to her that she should stay away from fantasy sites like this, seek friends that are more family oriented like herself, and get real professional counseling to un-jumble her mind. I believe she's addressing that now. We should wish her the best!

But, I think it important to let some read the results of what often comes from couples who experience real cuckolding. If couples can't be up front & honest with each other this is a very dangerous activity to get involved. Sad thing is, its usually the children of a marriage that suffer the most from adult, irresponsible foolishness.

Sometimes, Mac, you being the resident Psychologist is a very good thing. I, of course, am not privy to yours and vanessa's conversations, but you have apparently done the complete right thing and the fact that Vanessa and her husband are committed to saving the marriage and working things out, even if it is only for the kid's sake now, may give them a chance to put the pieces back together into a working marriage. VERY well done.
I think there is some good advice on this thread (not just from Mac). I also think there are some real jacka$$e$ and trolls on this site.

 

[falcondfw69]

She fucked up because of some assholes on this site. I'd love to know who encouraged her to do this destructive behavior. So we can universally condemn that POS.

Macnfries, have any names for us?

Don't you have anything better to do than point fingers? If you want to point them, point them at Vanessa (Sorry Vanessa. I am rooting for you and hubby, but facts are facts). NOONE, except Vanessa, made the final decision to actually go through with whatever, no matter how many idiots put the devil on her shoulder.

 

[shocked]

yes and no. on one hand, my comment was flippant. on the other hand, my comment was measured.

think about it. she hemmed and hawed and thought about it, felt the regret, expressed dismay at the potentials, and basically exercised in mental circumlocutions for days and weeks before she did the deed. i am not 100 positive about this, as no precise timeline has been given, but from what can be reasonably inferred by her posting history, i say the above with about 90 percent confidence.

so why would i feel sorry for her? an important part of learning is experiencing that, yes, the stove is hot, and you do get burned when you touch it.

refusing to feel sorry for her is not the same as lacking empathy, however. feeling sorry for someone is patronizing, and the word that best defines it is sympathy. i don't have sympathy for anyone; in my opinion it's disrespectful. it's respectful to have empathy.

it's funny in an absurdist, existential sense. how is this not an absurd tale?! i can't help but laugh at it! an absurd tragicomedy.

Well the drama might be funny if it was only her that was affected. But I can't laugh when a family is nearly torn apart and innocent people are also hurt.

In her favor, I do appreciate the genuine remorse and the fact that she came clean right away. That would give me some hope. She seems genuinely sorry for her impact on her husband and family and isn't focusing on herself and making herself seem like the victim.

 

[MacNfries]

Sometimes, Mac, you being the resident Psychologist is a very good thing.

I think my being the "resident psychologist" is often confused with my trying to be an individual of practical reasoning. I don't lie & I don't try to deceive ... just try calling them like I see them ... an "it is what it is" type of guy. I do expand my thoughts a bit more than I should, which occasionally warrants me the Dr Phil title, but its usually in an effort to try and make my points more clear. Many posts about cuckolding, here, are plain BS by individuals who don't have family or a real marriage ... 2 things I care really a lot about. I happen to believe, however, that married couples can adult play with others, but, it has to be done with each partner's full knowledge & support; no other way.
I actually failed Vanessa twice ... once, by not being able to convince to not do what she was wanting to do, and the second by not being able to discourage her from going to her husband once she started feeling guilty about what she had done. The confessional to her husband was a hard slap of reality that didn't have to happen.

At any rate, my posting Vanessa's note was to update those that took a similar position as mine in her situation, not to re-ignite more conversation about her.

 

[falcondfw69]

I think my being the "resident psychologist" is often confused with my trying to be an individual of practical reasoning. I don't lie & I don't try to deceive ... just try calling them like I see them ... an "it is what it is" type of guy. I do expand my thoughts a bit more than I should, which occasionally warrants me the Dr Phil title, but its usually in an effort to try and make my points more clear. Many posts about cuckolding, here, are plain BS by individuals who don't have family or a real marriage ... 2 things I care really a lot about. I happen to believe, however, that married couples can adult play with others, but, it has to be done with each partner's full knowledge & support; no other way.
I actually failed Vanessa twice ... once, by not being able to convince to not do what she was wanting to do, and the second by not being able to discourage her from going to her husband once she started feeling guilty about what she had done. The confessional to her husband was a hard slap of reality that didn't have to happen.

At any rate, my posting Vanessa's note was to update those that took a similar position as mine in her situation, not to re-ignite more conversation about her.

Mac, I agree about all the BS here. We have seen some in this thread. I have often been called a wet blanket, many times for my refusal to "go along to get along", with some of the junk up here.
As for failing her twice, there's a saying that comes to mind - "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him *******.". You tried to do the right thing. Both times. The first time, because it is the intelligent, right thing to do. The second time, because having lived a while, you are aware of human nature and threw in a dosage of logic, reasoning, and common sense.
As for her not confessing to hubby, Maybe she is just one of those people that once they start feeling guilty about something it gets worse and worse until it eventually eats them up and affects all areas of their lives? Some people have just been honest all their lives and once they slip up, the guilt is just too much to take. Maybe Vanessa is one of those.
And I was teasing about the 'resident psychologist' stuff, going back to some of our other threads.
Good luck, Vanessa and Hubby.

 

[D'Arcy James]

She fucked up because of some assholes on this site. I'd love to know who encouraged her to do this destructive behavior. So we can universally condemn that POS.

Macnfries, have any names for us?

No. She fucked up because she chose to fuck up. The responsibility lies with her. Kiddo should have listened. Tough break.

 

[D'Arcy James]

I think my being the "resident psychologist" is often confused with my trying to be an individual of practical reasoning. I don't lie & I don't try to deceive ... just try calling them like I see them ... an "it is what it is" type of guy. I do expand my thoughts a bit more than I should, which occasionally warrants me the Dr Phil title, but its usually in an effort to try and make my points more clear. Many posts about cuckolding, here, are plain BS by individuals who don't have family or a real marriage ... 2 things I care really a lot about. I happen to believe, however, that married couples can adult play with others, but, it has to be done with each partner's full knowledge & support; no other way.
I actually failed Vanessa twice ... once, by not being able to convince to not do what she was wanting to do, and the second by not being able to discourage her from going to her husband once she started feeling guilty about what she had done. The confessional to her husband was a hard slap of reality that didn't have to happen.

At any rate, my posting Vanessa's note was to update those that took a similar position as mine in her situation, not to re-ignite more conversation about her.

You didn't fail her. You tried to talk some sense into her.

I think my being the "resident psychologist" is often confused with my trying to be an individual of practical reasoning. I don't lie & I don't try to deceive ... just try calling them like I see them ... an "it is what it is" type of guy. I do expand my thoughts a bit more than I should, which occasionally warrants me the Dr Phil title, but its usually in an effort to try and make my points more clear. Many posts about cuckolding, here, are plain BS by individuals who don't have family or a real marriage ... 2 things I care really a lot about. I happen to believe, however, that married couples can adult play with others, but, it has to be done with each partner's full knowledge & support; no other way.
I actually failed Vanessa twice ... once, by not being able to convince to not do what she was wanting to do, and the second by not being able to discourage her from going to her husband once she started feeling guilty about what she had done. The confessional to her husband was a hard slap of reality that didn't have to happen.

At any rate, my posting Vanessa's note was to update those that took a similar position as mine in her situation, not to re-ignite more conversation about her.

Mac. About the whole "failing her" thing. Bullshit. You did what you could to help her make a solid decision. She chose what she chose. I had a few conversations with her, and shortly realized her situation. I stressed to her that she shouldn't act on her fantasy without considering the repercussions. And if she did w/o her husband's knowledge, to keep him protected until she knew his feelings on the subject. But, after I saw more and more of Vanessa's posts, I let her be. You can't tell young, grown folks what to do. Anymore than you can legislate morality.(another discussion)

 

[MagicMikeATX]

I didn't come here to hear about, lament, or even advise people about their personal problems; I came to ESCAPE such real life ******* and meet hot women to fuck.
It's cool that ppl are willing to air out their personal *******.... And some are willing to help others, but bottom line I've said since day 1 this is an interracial website mostly involving non black ppl looking to hook up with hung black men. That's just plain and simple. Anything else is... Whatever.

In that respect I kinda agree with Low_key... There is some absurdity in this entire thread with Vanessa. She came here looking for a sex fantasy, fulfilled it, and regretted it afterwards. No more different than any of us who have done stupid ******* in our lives.

Of course it sucks. So does being stuck in heavy traffic.

And now I die a violent and lonely death.

 

[D'Arcy James]

s

I didn't come here to hear about, lament, or even advise people about their personal problems; I came to ESCAPE such real life ******* and meet hot women to fuck.
It's cool that ppl are willing to air out their personal *******.... And some are willing to help others, but bottom line I've said since day 1 this is an interracial website mostly involving non black ppl looking to hook up with hung black men. That's just plain and simple. Anything else is... Whatever.

In that respect I kinda agree with Low_key... There is some absurdity in this entire thread with Vanessa. She came here looking for a sex fantasy, fulfilled it, and regretted it afterwards. No more different than any of us who have done stupid ******* in our lives.

Of course it sucks. So does being stuck in heavy traffic.

And now I die a violent and lonely death.

much needed dose of reality. Thank you.

 

[wifen2bbc]

Ive spent the last few weeks in turmoil wondering if the last 2yr have been a big mistake. I entered the scene with my husbands permission. We were only gonna do couples. Hard to find. Then only ways out of town. I just wanted more and more. I was allowed to get a local regular hook up. Then a few months ago. My husband said he met a girl and planed to hook up with her again . I was crushed but what could I say. He allowed me to fuck black cock for 16mo. I didnt want to know anything about her. Then about 3 weeks ago. I ran into Htm and her in a local casino Shes half my age and prettier than Barbi. I been all fucked up since then wishing I had never talked him into letting me fuck my first BLACK COCK

 

[syscom3]

Ive spent the last few weeks in turmoil wondering if the last 2yr have been a big mistake. I entered the scene with my husbands permission. We were only gonna do couples. Hard to find. Then only ways out of town. I just wanted more and more. I was allowed to get a local regular hook up. Then a few months ago. My husband said he met a girl and planed to hook up with her again . I was crushed but what could I say. He allowed me to fuck black cock for 16mo. I didnt want to know anything about her. Then about 3 weeks ago. I ran into Htm and her in a local casino Shes half my age and prettier than Barbi. I been all fucked up since then wishing I had never talked him into letting me fuck my first BLACK COCK

Have you talked to him about the both of you giving the swinging scene a rest?

 

[MacNfries]

wifen2, this is not unusual at all. This is one of the issues a lot of married women have with the logic of cuckolding; they can't understand "why" their husbands desire to share them with other men when they, themselves, find sharing their husbands with other women repulsive. Married women, generally, do not like sexually sharing their husbands with other women, even though they are having sex, themselves, with numerous other men.
What you two seem to have is an open-marriage relationship, however, and you're not communicating too well with each other as you practice it. You really should sit down and discuss your concerns and parameters to what you're doing or it will eventually destroy your relationship with each other. Mac

ps ... getting yourself back into a hot, sexy body will often get his attention back, as well as give you new confidence in yourself, however. Maybe its time to hit the gym and the low-carbs menus. He'll see a whole new woman in you if you do, trust me.

 

[wifen2bbc]

wifen2, this is not unusual at all. This is one of the issues a lot of married women have with the logic of cuckolding; they can't understand "why" their husbands desire to share them with other men when they, themselves, find sharing their husbands with other women repulsive. Married women, generally, do not like sexually sharing their husbands with other women, even though they are having sex, themselves, with numerous other men.
What you two seem to have is an open-marriage relationship, however, and you're not communicating too well with each other as you practice it. You really should sit down and discuss your concerns and parameters to what you're doing or it will eventually destroy your relationship with each other. Mac

ps ... getting yourself back into a hot, sexy body will often get his attention back, as well as give you new confidence in yourself, however. Maybe its time to hit the gym and the low-carbs menus. He'll see a whole new woman in you if you do, trust me.

I cant expect him not to FUCK who he wants as giving as he has been with me. Unless we both agree to not fuck anyone else or only do couples again., Since Black men dont like White men fucking Black wives and White girls with Black men are not into White guys. Thats a little rough. Its not a matter of my husband still desiring me. He fucks me often. Even 3 ways. Im what he likes shes built like me. Im 36yr shes 19yr your not a woman you dont understand ask your Girl. Thanks for your advice. Im just a selfish modern woman. It might be better if she was Black, Asian, Latino, not me 15 yr ago

 

[wifen2bbc]

When I first confessed my desire to fuck Black Cock to my husband. ( There was no denying it Id get so worked up watching IR porn) I told him You may Love apples more than anything but today you just want a orange. The Reddest, Juiciest, Sweetest apple is not going to satisfy your desire for that Orange even if they are both fruit .

 

[vanessabbc]

well, here is the deal. I thank everyone in this thread for their support and I thank everyone in this thread who said they do not feel sorry for me. Because I do not want pity. I fucked up. I betrayed my husband, I deserve no pity. I touched that hot stove, as someone said,and learned. I learned I have the best, most forgiving husband in the world and tho our path to heal will be long, we will make it. I will never betray that again.I have what a lot of women dream of if marriage is their dream, I was an idiot. I was in lust or heat or whatever and now that fantasy is gone. I appreciate all of you, really I do.

 

[Dan Teal]

WM, Vanessa and I have been corresponding for a while. She's just really mixed up right now; has some head issues to resolve. She married really young to an older guy, and she's had desires to experience things she's missed out on over the years. Thing is, she's very family oriented and is sincere of her love to her family. I'm not meaning to spill any details of her personal life, but she's just been listening to the wrong people encouraging her to make poor decisions. I'm not sure why she decided to do a confessional with her husband after the fact, but I've suggested to her that she should stay away from fantasy sites like this, seek friends that are more family oriented like herself, and get real professional counseling to un-jumble her mind. I believe she's addressing that now. We should wish her the best!

But, I think it important to let some read the results of what often comes from couples who experience real cuckolding. If couples can't be up front & honest with each other this is a very dangerous activity to get involved. Sad thing is, its usually the children of a marriage that suffer the most from adult, irresponsible foolishness.

Mac the Counselor!