when you fuck up

#1
and I mean really fuck up, to the point that anyone who tries to help you can not, its the most empty and corrupt feeling in the world.everyone knows there are shitty people in the world but there is nothing like realizing you are one of them. I'm good at only two things in the world, being a good wife and a good mommy and I'm not even good at them any more.I may have just lost everything in my world and my husband has chosen to stay in a hotel tonight instead of in our bed with me. Listen to me, don't fuck up like me, don't betray people who trusted you
 
#5
just a quick note. My husband came home last night and when I woke up he was beside me. Things are very quiet because the kids are home but at least him coming home is a good sign? right?I fucked up because I trusted a friend who was not looking out for me, but it is my fault, not hers. I take full blane and will do everything possible to save this.
 

flsubboy4u

Male
Gold Member
From
FL, US
#9
real quick, NO it was not worth it. It was a fantasy that should have stayed one and yes, the hardest part is realizing things will NEVER be the same again no matter what. Innocence is dead and I an a betraying bitch. If you have doubts, believe them. GET OUT!
Things did not go wrong because you trusted a friend who did not look out for you. Lying to the one who trusts you is always a mistake. Cuckoldry is best shared honestly with a loving partner. However, when one chooses to "cheat" it's always best to do it in another city where you can't get caught. The old adage "what you don't know can't hurt you" is only true if he or she doesn't know. Instead of sharing your thoughts about this with people on a board such as this why not share them with him? After all, sharing your intimate thoughts on here with strangers or people you know, is really just another form of betrayal. Emotional cheating is sometimes worse than sexual cheating.

Since I don't know your husband and i'm pretty sure the people on this site don't know him as well as you do, you are the only one who can make decisions about how to repair this. At this point, I recommend going to a therapist together. There you can both be totally honest and fix what is broken in your relationship. Then perhaps, you can cuckold him with his knowledge and or approval and even involvement. If on the other hand, he is not open to this fantasy becoming a reality, you have a decision to make. It sounds to me like you would rather be a faithful wife and a good mother than a sexually satisfied woman if the choice has to be made. Whatever you decide, I hope you will be more careful if you decide to lie again. You are not a bad person or mother just because you had a little fun (assuming you are not in love with another) or because you lied to a person who trusts you. If you are in love with the other, this is more complicated. You are human and although it will take some challenging work, you and your husband should explore what has happened and why and learn through therapy how to move forward and find trust again. Being hard on yourself will not fix the problem. Exploring the reasons it happened and the way it happened, with your significant other, might.
 

BlacqGold

Male
Real Person
Gold Member
From
PA, US
#10
There are always situations that don't work out but that's does that mean everyone that goes down this path will have the same result as her. I'm saddened to hear it didn't work out for her but for others it does in life there are Always risks
 

Torpedo

Male
Gold Member
#11
Nobody is perfect, everybody screws up from time to time to varying degrees. I would suggest that you both think about what brought you together in the first place and rebuild from there. Infidelity can take many forms and is a good deal more common that most people would care to admit.

The ideal relationship is whatever the participants agree on. This event can be anything from a speed bump to a train wreck it all depends on how both of you handle it. If your marriage fails because of this it likely wasn't that strong of a relationship in the first place. Life and relationships are easy when the sun shines and all is right with the world. Adversity is the fire that can forge the strongest bonds for some people.
 

MacNfries

Male
Sweet & Cordial
Gold Member
From
NC, US
#14
I'm confused? So you cheated on your husband with a black guy and told a girlfriend, and she told your husband? Sorry just trying to clarify.
WM, Vanessa and I have been corresponding for a while. She's just really mixed up right now; has some head issues to resolve. She married really young to an older guy, and she's had desires to experience things she's missed out on over the years. Thing is, she's very family oriented and is sincere of her love to her family. I'm not meaning to spill any details of her personal life, but she's just been listening to the wrong people encouraging her to make poor decisions. I'm not sure why she decided to do a confessional with her husband after the fact, but I've suggested to her that she should stay away from fantasy sites like this, seek friends that are more family oriented like herself, and get real professional counseling to un-jumble her mind. I believe she's addressing that now. We should wish her the best!

But, I think it important to let some read the results of what often comes from couples who experience real cuckolding. If couples can't be up front & honest with each other this is a very dangerous activity to get involved. Sad thing is, its usually the children of a marriage that suffer the most from adult, irresponsible foolishness.
 

MacNfries

Male
Sweet & Cordial
Gold Member
From
NC, US
#16
I'm assuming that she just confessed to having the fantasies and hasn't gone through with having an affair. There's hope if all she did is spill the beans about visiting the site. Good luck Vanessa!!
No, according to her, she went through with it, and then she felt bad for doing it. So, its a serious situation for her. As has already been said, it can't be "undone" once its happened. That's why this communication within a marriage is so important.