unknowing wives

B Brown said:
Great thread!!! Granted, I don't spend a ton of time reading the threads on here, but this is one of the most sincere ones I've seen. Real life talk.
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thank you I tend to get on here and read a lot but see s much go way left field and thought it was time for something more at home and real to life.i like talking and hearing others in their own shoes and see how we have grown from where we started and it beings back memories and gives me a nice smile
 
ptownwhitney said:
thank you I tend to get on here and read a lot but see s much go way left field and thought it was time for something more at home and real to life.i like talking and hearing others in their own shoes and see how we have grown from where we started and it beings back memories and gives me a nice smile
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Ok, thank you. I'm hesitant to discuss and won't discuss any of my business out here in the open, but this is not as simple as people who fantasize about it may think. I'd imagine for most parties it isn't. It's a majorly big step to take. For the unseasoned or uninitiated, it takes a while before they feel comfortable enough to want to go through with it.
 
My wife found out because I was a complete jackass. I responded to an ad in an adult paper( for you young people, this thing that used to have classifieds in strip clubs and some bars) with questions about swinging, etc. Somehow the person got our number and called, mentioned swinging and it was Nikki that answered. I had a lot of explaining to do. After the shock wore off, things worked out but lesson learned, communicate first with your spouse.
 
B Brown said:
Ok, thank you. I'm hesitant to discuss and won't discuss any of my business out here in the open, but this is not as simple as people who fantasize about it may think. I'd imagine for most parties it isn't. It's a majorly big step to take. For the unseasoned or uninitiated, it takes a while before they feel comfortable enough to want to go through with it.
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and is exacly one of the things I want to get out here and have people feel free to ask questions and advise from those that have taken he steps
 
B Brown said:
Ok, thank you. I'm hesitant to discuss and won't discuss any of my business out here in the open, but this is not as simple as people who fantasize about it may think. I'd imagine for most parties it isn't. It's a majorly big step to take. For the unseasoned or uninitiated, it takes a while before they feel comfortable enough to want to go through with it.
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As has been said on this board (and others) many times, you can not "unfuck" her once it has happened!
 
ptownwhitney said:
exactly and a thing left out here so many times the emotional aftermath felt but EVERYONE is different in that and how handled
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It's heavy stuff depending on the personalities involved. I'm not embarrassed to say depending on the BBC too, yup it could and often does get downright emotional as well, in many ways one may not have even had reason to think of.
 
Great thread, discussions and perspective. As a BBC, I have watched couples go through the good and the bad of the process of going from fantasy to reality. I've also had the experience of running the spectrum from swingers to cuck play. So far no one has touched on the important role of the BBC in helping or hijacking the safe space neccessary for the potential hotwife and her man to feel comfortable about exploring the lifestyle. Some couples are into the more extreme while for others, it's simply to spice up an already good gumbo.
In short, being an Alpha male or a dominant male or just a black dude with an above average sized boner doesn't equate the need to be insensitive and a dickhead.
 
Sire said:
Great thread, discussions and perspective. As a BBC, I have watched couples go through the good and the bad of the process of going from fantasy to reality. I've also had the experience of running the spectrum from swingers to cuck play. So far no one has touched on the important role of the BBC in helping or hijacking the safe space neccessary for the potential hotwife and her man to feel comfortable about exploring the lifestyle. Some couples are into the more extreme while for others, it's simply to spice up an already good gumbo.
In short, being an Alpha male or a dominant male or just a black dude with an above average sized boner doesn't equate the need to be insensitive and a dickhead.
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Spot on!
 
ptownwhitney said:
hello A'all I enjoy talking with others on her and sooooo often the far left field fantasy stuff is there but also I see SO many guys saying I wish my wife would or I would love to see my wife do this or that then in the same breath say oh she has no idea I am on here or about this,,,,,,, ok I get the fear because I was one of those typical over reactive type at first and actually id not talk to him for several days because I was hurt and upset and shocked that he would even have those thoughts, but as a lot of time went by and it was out in the open it was brought up hear and there and after two years I did come around to the idea and it happened, now hubby says his biggest regret is not talking to me sooner about it and use that time he wasted just wishing as time toward the goal and talking about it. I have posted in other threads about how we have become stronger and happy, but I would like to hear from others on here and give advise to those scared to bring it up to their wives,,,, its just whats on my mind tonight and love hearing others ideas stories and issues
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Guys ask me for advise all the time and I really have none because I believe you must know your partner well enough that you need not ask advice for this lest you ruin your relationship. I was the one frightened back before I asked and one day I just got sick of hiding this from her and decided it was time. We were on our way to dinner and granted it was a clumsy effort on my part I was able to finally ask her if she might be sexually interested in a well hung black man and if she was I had this fantasy of watching her. It was no easy task but I did it.
My wife was much more responsive to what I put before her than I would have ever imagined. I expected to at least be admonished and at worst I knew I was risking tarnishing my image as a man with her which I might never recover. She never flinched and was candid with me about what it meant for us for her to be with another man and after some discussion she pretty much said yes to everything!
Much like your husband, I now regret not asking her much sooner and had I known then what I know now I would have asked her back in the early 2000s when this all came forth. Not that it is too late but it would have been amazing watching my wife at 40 in bed with a well hung black man and going through the years with her enjoying black men as lovers.
Be careful what you wish for guys. We have not gone down the path yet but we are very close and I can admit I am very nervous about it all.
If you ask, be committed!!! My wife laid all her cards on the table and she was open about her attraction to black men and the fact she had at one time been attracted to this black man she worked with long before I even I asked. You do not know what might come up and while she never acted on this attraction she already knew she was going to say yes to me before she ever actually stated it.
For me, once I put it out there and spoke of her being being intimate with another man it was now incumbent on me to listen to my wife without reservation the things she wanted to speak of. The fact she was attracted to this guy before I asked the question was now irrelevant in my eyes, and it actually gave me insight to her as an individual rather than my wife.
For her to mention him I knew she trusted I was committed to this and had no fear of bringing up the subject of her attraction to him; She straight up acknowledged she considered him a handsome black man and was attracted to both his personality and build. That trust she placed in me was not wasted and we both speak of him now and hope to meet him one day very soon
 
Actually it was my husband's idea to fuck with black men but at the beginning I strongly rejected it not because I don't like black guys but because of the fear that my husband will use my acceptance as an excuse to have sex with other women but when he noticed that, he assured me that he was doing this because he loves me and he wants me to be fully satisfied sexually as his dick was shorter than average and he used to cum so fast before I reach orgasm so probably he felt I was not satisfied and he tried to make me happy so after few months and lot of watching interracial sex movies I agreed to take part and he brought to me my first bull who had a very thick 10" cock that brought me to multiple orgasms the first time he fucked me and since then I became hooked on black men to the extent that I go myself looking for black men in the bars or clubs when my husband is home or sleeping and we both are very happy now after being into this life style for more than 18 years now.Throughout those years I have been fucked by 1000s of different built black guys mostly African Americans but with some guys from Jamaica,Nigeria,South Africa,Congo,Senegal although I still prefer African Americans only.
 
Sire said:
Great thread, discussions and perspective. As a BBC, I have watched couples go through the good and the bad of the process of going from fantasy to reality. I've also had the experience of running the spectrum from swingers to cuck play. So far no one has touched on the important role of the BBC in helping or hijacking the safe space neccessary for the potential hotwife and her man to feel comfortable about exploring the lifestyle. Some couples are into the more extreme while for others, it's simply to spice up an already good gumbo.
In short, being an Alpha male or a dominant male or just a black dude with an above average sized boner doesn't equate the need to be insensitive and a dickhead.
Click to expand...
Love this perspective...its interesting how both sides are littered with fantasy scenarios on this and the rest of the online world. Oh, and note to the wise reader...this is not just the case when reading about sex and fantasy online its true of every other facet of the online world! @Sire I suspect couples you connect with are in for some great experiences in and alongside the bedroom!
 
Seth1805 said:
Guys ask me for advise all the time and I really have none because I believe you must know your partner well enough that you need not ask advice for this lest you ruin your relationship. I was the one frightened back before I asked and one day I just got sick of hiding this from her and decided it was time. We were on our way to dinner and granted it was a clumsy effort on my part I was able to finally ask her if she might be sexually interested in a well hung black man and if she was I had this fantasy of watching her. It was no easy task but I did it.
My wife was much more responsive to what I put before her than I would have ever imagined. I expected to at least be admonished and at worst I knew I was risking tarnishing my image as a man with her which I might never recover. She never flinched and was candid with me about what it meant for us for her to be with another man and after some discussion she pretty much said yes to everything!
Much like your husband, I now regret not asking her much sooner and had I known then what I know now I would have asked her back in the early 2000s when this all came forth. Not that it is too late but it would have been amazing watching my wife at 40 in bed with a well hung black man and going through the years with her enjoying black men as lovers.
Be careful what you wish for guys. We have not gone down the path yet but we are very close and I can admit I am very nervous about it all.
If you ask, be committed!!! My wife laid all her cards on the table and she was open about her attraction to black men and the fact she had at one time been attracted to this black man she worked with long before I even I asked. You do not know what might come up and while she never acted on this attraction she already knew she was going to say yes to me before she ever actually stated it.
For me, once I put it out there and spoke of her being being intimate with another man it was now incumbent on me to listen to my wife without reservation the things she wanted to speak of. The fact she was attracted to this guy before I asked the question was now irrelevant in my eyes, and it actually gave me insight to her as an individual rather than my wife.
For her to mention him I knew she trusted I was committed to this and had no fear of bringing up the subject of her attraction to him; She straight up acknowledged she considered him a handsome black man and was attracted to both his personality and build. That trust she placed in me was not wasted and we both speak of him now and hope to meet him one day very soon
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Amazing story. Thanks for sharing this.
 
QUEEN4BBC said:
Actually it was my husband's idea to fuck with black men but at the beginning I strongly rejected it not because I don't like black guys but because of the fear that my husband will use my acceptance as an excuse to have sex with other women but when he noticed that, he assured me that he was doing this because he loves me and he wants me to be fully satisfied sexually as his dick was shorter than average and he used to cum so fast before I reach orgasm so probably he felt I was not satisfied and he tried to make me happy so after few months and lot of watching interracial sex movies I agreed to take part and he brought to me my first bull who had a very thick 10" cock that brought me to multiple orgasms the first time he fucked me and since then I became hooked on black men to the extent that I go myself looking for black men in the bars or clubs when my husband is home or sleeping and we both are very happy now after being into this life style for more than 18 years now.Throughout those years I have been fucked by 1000s of different built black guys mostly African Americans but with some guys from Jamaica,Nigeria,South Africa,Congo,Senegal although I still prefer African Americans only.
Click to expand...

Wow.
 
Sire said:
Great thread, discussions and perspective. As a BBC, I have watched couples go through the good and the bad of the process of going from fantasy to reality. I've also had the experience of running the spectrum from swingers to cuck play. So far no one has touched on the important role of the BBC in helping or hijacking the safe space neccessary for the potential hotwife and her man to feel comfortable about exploring the lifestyle. Some couples are into the more extreme while for others, it's simply to spice up an already good gumbo.
In short, being an Alpha male or a dominant male or just a black dude with an above average sized boner doesn't equate the need to be insensitive and a dickhead.
Click to expand...
VERY VERY true and have told many that finding the RIGHT guy once at that point is key, you have to talk with her and see what it is she wants,, because I have told many that unlike many of the fantasy type in here that sys they will jump on anything black myself is VERY turned off by a lot of black men,, for me the thuggish . playa, street guys that are pushy and over aggressive is a huge turn off, I s far find that older professional type are my thing but everyone is different .. and it is key once at that point and ready to find the right bull and vette and talk to him to make sure he fits the mold because the first can mak or break it from GREAT to BAD and if growing from hat night or a one night and stop thing
 
ptownwhitney said:
VERY VERY true and have told many that finding the RIGHT guy once at that point is key, you have to talk with her and see what it is she wants,, because I have told many that unlike many of the fantasy type in here that sys they will jump on anything black myself is VERY turned off by a lot of black men,, for me the thuggish . playa, street guys that are pushy and over aggressive is a huge turn off, I s far find that older professional type are my thing but everyone is different .. and it is key once at that point and ready to find the right bull and vette and talk to him to make sure he fits the mold because the first can mak or break it from GREAT to BAD and if growing from hat night or a one night and stop thing
Click to expand...
Yes that’s why it’s important for the wife to take her time in searching the right guy! Just as it is important for the guy she is meeting to be honest and real as well! Can’t tell you how many no shows and fakes we had even using a paid swinger site! Also had guys show up who said they were comfortable in MFM and then not be able to perform! Then it’s also important for the hubby to be comfortable with the guy as well! If you find the right guy it’s an awesome experience! If you find the guys who are jerks and try to mess the relationship up it’s not a good experience! Ground rules are very important and every person involved should be respected and listened to. If the wife or hubby isn’t comfortable with the guy then they should not go forward with anything else! I had a bad experience where I didn’t like a guy she had met (he was very shady and said he was in to MFM threesomes but was very skiddish during them and then just wanted to see her alone without me, which she did) and it kind of started to effect our relationship! They say respect and communication is really important in the lifestyle! If at anytime things go off track the couple should stop the lifestyle immediate and reevaluate the situation and relationship! The lifestyle isn’t for everyone!
 
ptownwhitney said:
VERY VERY true and have told many that finding the RIGHT guy once at that point is key, you have to talk with her and see what it is she wants,, because I have told many that unlike many of the fantasy type in here that sys they will jump on anything black myself is VERY turned off by a lot of black men,, for me the thuggish . playa, street guys that are pushy and over aggressive is a huge turn off, I s far find that older professional type are my thing but everyone is different .. and it is key once at that point and ready to find the right bull and vette and talk to him to make sure he fits the mold because the first can mak or break it from GREAT to BAD and if growing from hat night or a one night and stop thing
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Precisely
 
ptownwhitney said:
VERY VERY true and have told many that finding the RIGHT guy once at that point is key, you have to talk with her and see what it is she wants,, because I have told many that unlike many of the fantasy type in here that sys they will jump on anything black myself is VERY turned off by a lot of black men,, for me the thuggish . playa, street guys that are pushy and over aggressive is a huge turn off, I s far find that older professional type are my thing but everyone is different .. and it is key once at that point and ready to find the right bull and vette and talk to him to make sure he fits the mold because the first can mak or break it from GREAT to BAD and if growing from hat night or a one night and stop thing
Click to expand...
Again, good post.
 
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