I'm so fucking confused, everyone says that I need to go along with it for the agreed upon dates otherwise I will ruin my engagement, now that I am, everyone is saying that I am ruining my relationship by going along with it...what am I supposed to do?
You're likely not getting or listening to the right advice. You're essentially listening to the fox talk you into opening the hen house door for him.
In all honesty, I've done my fair share of research into this and I've gotten great advice from both men and women and it all gets down to a few key things:
(1) Communication - You're having anxiety over this. You NEED to talk to her and tell her how you feel. If you don't you're going to seriously regret all of this in a few months/years and it'll likely rip you two apart. BUT, you opened the door, so you need to let her close it. She can either close it now with respect for your feelings, or she can continue and close it after as you pushed her into this and it needs to be her, not you, who makes the next move. Regardless, you must communicate first.
(2) Ground Rules - This is a MUST and everyone that has a good story to tell, has well established ground rules on what is going to happen, but more importantly, what is NOT going to happen. You said she would never do anal - are you sure? Have you established a ground rule on this? What about using a condom? You were glad the first person used one, but what about #2, or #3, or all the rest? What about slapping? Is she into that? Does she like to be slapped and roughed up? What about ******* and gagging, is she into all this? BOTH of you need to establish the ground rules together and you both need to abide by them. Interestingly enough, the #1 ground rule that successful couples have, is the second one party feels uneasy about the lifestyle, they stop. If you set up ground rules and this is one of them, you will be protecting yourself right now based on how you feel.
(3) For the first encounter with a bull, it needs to be on neutral ground (hotel). Never bring a bull back to your place and have him fuck your wife/girlfriend/friend there on your bed unless you're OK with the lifestyle. You're already feeling very uneasy about this and doing so with destroy you, as your bed is your sanctity for the two of you.
In the end, it's up to you on what you're going to do, but I've read this whole thread and you're a complete wreck over this. You need to talk to her and tell her how you're feeling before it's too late.