I think it totally depends on your own preference, as well as distinguishing the difference between a "cuckolding" lifestyle and a "hotwife" lifestyle.
When my wife and I started a couple years ago she was definitely a hotwife; I just enjoyed her having sex with other guys and I had no desire to sleep with other girls. It's hard to distinguish exactly where we crossed the blurred line into cuckolding but there's no question we are there now. I think a definitive moment was when she reignited a fling with a guy she had slept with long before her and I met. This guy has a really big dick (I'm around average) and after they had sex, she came home and we were both shocked at how little we could feel each other compared to normal, like it was a HUGE difference. But we were both so turned on knowing that it was because his dick is so much bigger than mine. That led to a mutually agreed interest in humiliation, i.e. during sex she would say things like his dick is bigger and better than mine, say she'd rather be having sex with him or just calling out his name while I fucked her. It drove us both wild. We dabbled a little bit in sexual denial like I wasn't allowed to have sex with her for a few days before she was going to see him, and eventually added that I couldn't have sex with her for a few days after either. It wasn't much of a big deal though because they weren't seeing each other very frequently at the time.
Ok so up to this point he assumed that she was just cheating on me with him, having no clue that I was aware. But this guy found interest in cuckold porn/lifestyle on his own and asked her to try and get me interested in it (lol). Now that I "knew about it" they started seeing each other more frequently, which reduced my sexual activity to about once a month (we are still VERY intimate with each other, I just wasn't allowed to penetrate her most of the time). Recently this guy took on more of the "bull" role. Now of course we are adults and could ultimately tell him to kick rocks if we wanted to but instead we gave him the authority to call the shots...well really both of them together, like they're the power couple and I'm the obedient cuckold.
Now he's the classic bull to extreme cuckolding. I already hadn't gotten a blowjob from her in nearly a year anyway but that was his first ban: no more blowjobs, ever. She loved to tease me about it and I loved the teasing, which she told him (traitor haha) so he decided to have her tell me that I'm not allowed to have sex with her without his permission, and apparently laughed as he told her he would always say "no" but it would be fun to make me beg for it. Now we're full-on... She tells me that her vagina belongs to him, that I never get to fuck her again, that my dick is boring and useless, etc.
Like I said, to each their own. But we are three adults that decide to do things a certain way and all three of us LOVE it. That's the important part.