Ruined

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xtremeone

Male
Looking for help!
42 years old now and single at the moment but happy.
I am a straight male, since i was younger every woman i have ever dated has talked about how black men have big willies.
Never knew or understood what they were talking about since i was 16 and up, growing up i have noticed through porn and other curiosities
that i have been drawn to looking at black men that have very large cocks, not the man but the cock only*
When i was growing up it angered me when i would see interracial dating, i felt they were taking over white women and it pissed me off!
It still bugs me, but also turns me on! Something i found myself enjoying, Pain and pleasure.
In my adult life i have spoken to most of the ladies i have been with and was able to find pleasure and pain from them telling me how much they wanted a BBC.
My obsession is killing me lol
As i said above, i consider myself a straight guy. Men turn me off!

Black men with huge cocks really drive me crazy and insanely muscular black men.

I can not find myself to watch porn with a white woman and a white man at all! even if they white guy has a huge cock, doesn't do nothing for me.
I have to find black on white only and love watching women, beautiful women go black because it bugs me but it hits that pleasure spot for me.

Another issue i have is that i am starting to look at solo pics and videos of BBC, i mainly think of a white girl taking it but it still turns me on.

Am i sick?
 
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My specifications are too specific on this topic and cannot be a label.
Straight male.
But will look if,
He's dark black skinned and has to either have 9 plus inches or be as big as a mr. Olympia.

Anything else I will not look at it.

I I've always looked at women constantly, all shapes all sizes from head to toe, eyes ears nose necks feet toes arches ankles knees elbows hands arms eyes nose you name it, can't get enough of looking at women...

When I see a guy's face it makes me sick to my stomach, thinking about getting close to that makes me feel gross.
Even if it was mr. Olympia I would never ever look him in the eyes or kiss or anything like that, disgusting!
 
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xtremeone said:
My specifications are too specific on this topic and cannot be a label.
Straight male.
But will look if,
He's dark black skinned and has to either have 9 plus inches or be as big as a mr. Olympia.

Anything else I will not look at it.

I I've always looked at women constantly, all shapes all sizes from head to toe, eyes ears nose necks feet toes arches ankles knees elbows hands arms eyes nose you name it, can't get enough of looking at women...

When I see a guy's face it makes me sick to my stomach, thinking about getting close to that makes me feel gross.
Even if it was mr. Olympia I would never ever look him in the eyes or kiss or anything like that, disgusting!
Click to expand...
Lol, so you're a size Queen and you're probably just waiting for some confidently aggressive and dominant dude to dick down your lady while you watch, then do clean up service.
Just be honest bro, you want to get fucked by some supernormous Black dick. You ain't the only one. ????
 
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You are def not sick. Most likely repressing your deeply-rooted desire to have sex with a black man. You admit you like black dick. Go for it. You only live once. If you don't like the taste of black dick and balls, and don't savor the feeling of having a black rod hammering inside your ass... then don't do it again. Nothing wrong with being gay. Takes all kinds to make the world go round.
 
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StevieGirl said:
You are def not sick. Most likely repressing your deeply-rooted desire to have sex with a black man. You admit you like black dick. Go for it. You only live once. If you don't like the taste of black dick and balls, and don't savor the feeling of having a black rod hammering inside your ass... then don't do it again. Nothing wrong with being gay. Takes all kinds to make the world go round.
Click to expand...
Well it's mostly I like watching them take over white women, when I was younger I was very prejudice and hated seeing interracial couples.
My girlfriend started to cheat on me back when I was younger with a black guy that pissed me off, then I started to enjoy it and enjoy being belittled by my ex-wife.
But I hated it all the same, when I get horny it's a big stimulant.
 
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Yeah I'm straight and enjoy the visual also. I don't think it's "normal" but it's what gets me hard as a rock! I watched IR since my teens and only in my 30s got into watching cuckold porn, I used to think it was Gross
 
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I don't understand the labeling thing. What does it matter? A person enjoys what they enjoy. If they feel best wearing lingerie or a skirt and heels and love giving pleasure to a cock, who cares what they consider themselves?
 
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