You say, "...until the meet up" which implies that you have already met couples from this site in real life?! Why then do you consider it an "issue" (to talk with the hubbies first)?
i would say it`s the typical case for couples to let hubby do the "screening" first, before the wife gets involved. It`s more "secure" this way for couples. - Too many freaks out there trying to talk wives into cheating behind their husbands` backs.
The downside for the "bulls" is that you never know if a couple is real or a single guy hiding behind a fake couple`s profile.
But don`t be frustrated, as you will have a hit every 1 in about 100 times of trying. *lol*