The definition of a cuckold was never complicated until cuckolds started having too much say and wanted to minimize and rationalize their new roles in their marriage and in society. Look at the historical definition of cuckold. Not complicated . . .
i have to agree with jeff and christy on this one, the meaning of cuckold now days does not hold any weight anymore, when the hubby started calling the shots the term cuckold lost all its meaning, now its just men getting off watching their wives fuck other men. in past times the women and her lover called the shots and the hubby was just there.
History of the term
c. 1815 French satire on cuckoldry, which shows both men and women wearing horns
The word
cuckold derives from the
cuckoo bird, alluding to its habit of laying its eggs in other birds' nests.
[2][3] The association is common in medieval
folklore, literature, and
iconography.
English usage first appears about 1250 in the
medieval debate poem The Owl and the Nightingale. It was characterized as an overtly blunt term in
John Lydgate's "Fall of Princes", c. 1440.
[4] Shakespeare's writing often referred to cuckolds, with several of his characters suspecting they had become one.
[3]
The word often implies that the husband is deceived; that he is unaware of his wife's unfaithfulness and may not know until the arrival or growth of a baby plainly not his (as with cuckoo birds).
[3]
and what it has evolved into:
Cuckoldry as a fetish
Unlike the traditional definition of the term, in fetish usage a
cuckold or
wife watching is complicit in their partner's sexual "infidelity"; the wife who enjoys
cuckolding her husband is called a
cuckoldress if the man is more submissive.
[12][
page needed]
[13][14] If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where being cuckolded in reality does not damage the relationship, they may try it out in reality. However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the "cuckold": the cuckold convinces his lover to participate in the fantasy for them, though other "cuckolds" may prefer their lover to initiate the situation instead. The fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is being humiliated against their will.
[15]
Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant of
masochism, the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated.
[16][17] In Freudian analysis, cuckold fetishism is the eroticization of the fears of infidelity and of failure in the man's competition for procreation and the affection of females.[
citation needed] In his book
Masochism and the Self, psychologist
Roy Baumeister advanced a
Self Theory analysis that cuckolding (or specifically, all masochism) was a form of escaping from self-awareness, at times when self-awareness becomes burdensome, such as with perceived inadequacy. According to this theory, the physical or mental pain from masochism brings attention away from the self, which would be desirable in times of "guilt, anxiety, or insecurity", or at other times when self-awareness is unpleasant
personally i try to stay away from couples where the male thinks he has any kind of say in the situation between me and his wife.