Please help me. I am desperate and need advice.

So, I am now officially a divorced man. I went into divorce hearing devastated and heartbroken, and left angry and disgusted.
My whore ex wife showed up with her lover, and not once did she ever acknowledge me. Then when the judge ruled the marriage was dissolved, her POS lover pulled her into a passionate kiss. Didn't even give a fuck this was done in front of me, or the judge.
I got up, walked out, and as I passed them, I noticed a diamond ring on her finger. She is obviously marrying him.
Now this explains why she walked away from basically everything and pushed for the non contested divorce.
It takes time I know you keep hearing that But it truly does get better
 
So, I am now officially a divorced man. I went into divorce hearing devastated and heartbroken, and left angry and disgusted.
My whore ex wife showed up with her lover, and not once did she ever acknowledge me. Then when the judge ruled the marriage was dissolved, her POS lover pulled her into a passionate kiss. Didn't even give a fuck this was done in front of me, or the judge.
I got up, walked out, and as I passed them, I noticed a diamond ring on her finger. She is obviously marrying him.
Now this explains why she walked away from basically everything and pushed for the non contested divorce.
I’m very surprised that the divorce could be finalized already. Most states require a significant waiting period. Also, didn’t y’all go through a discovery process? I’m a lawyer, and there’s no way I’d want to finalize a divorce in a long marriage without determining and analyzing assets and debts. I’m assuming you don’t have any minor children.
 
I’m very surprised that the divorce could be finalized already. Most states require a significant waiting period. Also, didn’t y’all go through a discovery process? I’m a lawyer, and there’s no way I’d want to finalize a divorce in a long marriage without determining and analyzing assets and debts. I’m assuming you don’t have any minor children.

I was thinking the same thing. Something doesn't smell right here. Even if she wanted a no contest, there is generally a 6 month period before a divorce is final. Most courts don't work that fast even in uncontested situations.
 
In my state, the minimum is 60 days, but it’s rare that we finalize the divorce that quickly, unless there’s no assets or *******.
 
Had actually forgotten about this whole scenario until you updated. Thinking that she has told some doozies to her friends and family to explain this dramatic change in her life! :happy:
 
I’m very surprised that the divorce could be finalized already. Most states require a significant waiting period. Also, didn’t y’all go through a discovery process? I’m a lawyer, and there’s no way I’d want to finalize a divorce in a long marriage without determining and analyzing assets and debts. I’m assuming you don’t have any minor children.
In Florida, an uncontested divorce can happen in as soon as 30 days.
 
I’m very surprised that the divorce could be finalized already. Most states require a significant waiting period. Also, didn’t y’all go through a discovery process? I’m a lawyer, and there’s no way I’d want to finalize a divorce in a long marriage without determining and analyzing assets and debts. I’m assuming you don’t have any minor children.
It’s all a BS story, from the first post to the last. It’s all part of his humiliation fantasy.
 
I’m very surprised that the divorce could be finalized already. Most states require a significant waiting period. Also, didn’t y’all go through a discovery process? I’m a lawyer, and there’s no way I’d want to finalize a divorce in a long marriage without determining and analyzing assets and debts. I’m assuming you don’t have any minor children.

No minor children and a home with a mortgage. The house was deeded to us both but I alone am on the mortgage.
She gave up her claim to half the house's equity in exchange for an uncontested divorce. She didn't seek alimony. We had little savings, which we split equally, so not much to argue over. My lawyer suggested I take the deal, as there is equity in the house.
I was amazed at how quick this all transpired.
It’s all a BS story, from the first post to the last. It’s all part of his humiliation fantasy.
It’s all a BS story, from the first post to the last. It’s all part of his humiliation fantasy.
Are you always this negative? Casting judgment upon ppl you don't know and will never meet? You can choose to believe this is a "BS story". Quite frankly, I couldn't care less. I know my life, and I also know what's true.
 
I was thinking the same thing. Something doesn't smell right here. Even if she wanted a no contest, there is generally a 6 month period before a divorce is final. Most courts don't work that fast even in uncontested situations.
A simplified dissolution of the marriage was filed. With an uncontested divorce where all parties agree, it can happen in as soon as 30 days in the State of Florida. We also had a written marital settlement agreement filed prior to the hearing.
We went to our hearing, and the judge asked the both of us questions separately. Asked us if the marriage was "irretreivably broken" and if we both have resided in Florida for at least 6 months. He reviewed the marital settlement agreement, and after that, signed off on divorce.
 
It's truly stunning to me how negative and hurtful some ppl can be in the responses here, but this is the society we live in today. Ppl just assume the worst in everyone and are quick to judge and throw shade.
I do appreciate those here who've helped me through this process here and privately when I didn't have anyone else to lean on. Thank you to the admins as well for putting up with me.
Yes, I posted this here looking for support and advice as I was desperate to save my marriage, but I also wanted to warn others of the dangers of taking up this lifestyle. Not saying what happened to me will happen to everyone, but even the best of marriages can be ruined if we aren't careful.
I thought my marriage was solid as we were together since high school, but look at me now. 35 years old and starting all over. I am just glad I don't have *******, because if I did, things would be way more complicated for me than they are.
Just be careful everyone and yes, by all means, have fun. Just know and understand the risks of allowing another man into your marriage.
 
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First, I want to say before I proceed that I hope the admins here will allow a post from a brand new member that is seeking advice/help. My wife, my high school sweetheart and first love and I have been married 2 years after years of living together. Last year, we decided to spice up our sex life and discuss the possibility of her being with a black man. She was initially opposed and came around at my urging. I am, and have always been a bit on the sexually submissive side. I am of the mindset that black men, in general are superior to white men, especially in the bedroom. I wanted my wife to experience that.
We ended up meeting a really great guy off of a dating app. He had everything going for him. Handsome, educated, successful, muscular, and the BBC. The first time he was with my wife I watched them. I had never seen her behave in such a way when we had sex. He completely dominated her (In a non hurtful way) and she fully submitted to him. She appeared to love every minute of sex with him. After a few times, she informs me she didn't want to see him any longer. Because I always respected her wishes, I agreed. Whatever she wanted. Over the last 6 months, our sex life literally has become non existent. She won't let me touch her in any way. We get along fine and she is affectionate, but not like before.
I have asked her all along if she loves me and if she's happy and she says yes. I was suspecting her of seeing someone else, and I asked her if she met someone else and she has denied it.
So I set a trap for her because I needed to know the truth. Told her I was going to Jacksonville for business and that I would be gone 2 days. I checked into a local hotel and rented a car she wouldn't recognize and waited across the street from our home during the evening. On the very first night I am away, I see her pull into the garage around dinnertime and a black Cadillac Escalade pulled in behind. Who gets out but the black gentleman we met off the dating app. I waited about 20 minutes or so and get out of the car and run to the side of the house where our bedroom window is located. I can hear pretty much everything they are talking about because our windows are original, single pane windows that are in desperate need of replacement. Their conversation is pretty basic and then I begin to hear them passionately kiss and that leads to sex, in our martial bed. I could hear them talking to one another during sex, saying I love you, etc. I am sitting there, back to the wall of our home listening to everything, devastated. I get up, get in the car and head back to my hotel. I wake up early the next day, his SUV is still there. He spent the night. Mind you, I texted my wife around 11 the night prior telling her I was at the hotel relaxing. She texted me back a bit later telling me "I love you and goodnight".
Night two "away" I return to wait for her to arrive home from work. She arrives alone and about an hour or so later, he shows up again. I do the same exact thing I did the night before, sit on the side of the house, just below my bedroom window and listen to them have sex this time for about 2 hours. It concluded with him asking her if "he could cum inside of her" and she responded "yes, I want to feel you inside of me".
Now dont get me wrong, I am happy she enjoys being with this man in a way she never has with me. He is a good guy, quality person and I did inititate this originally, so I do share alot of the blame. I am just fearful I am losing her to him and eventually she is going to divorce me.

I return home from the "business trip" and everything is "normal" like before but no sex or intimacy between us whatsoever. I am also very concerned that she could potentially end up pregnant. Why do I say that? Well, when they first were getting together and I knew about it and was present, he had inititally asked if he had to wear a condom. My wife and I both agreed wearing a condom was a must as my wife has never been able to handle the side effects of the birth control pill. We always prevented pregancy in the past with me wearing one. He asked to cum inside of her that second night and she said yes. Why would he ask that if he were wearing a condom? Makes no sense, does it?

I am home tonight, sitting here and once again, head still spinning. I want to just come right out and ask her but I am fearful of her response.
Please, admins, I have literally no one else to talk to about this. If you can allow this post just long enough for me to get some advice, I would deeply appreciate it. I love my wife and just want my marriage to return to normal but I do not know how.

If anyone here wants to contact me, plz feel free to send me a private message.

Thank you so much.
I will give you the best that I have. You may have opened the whole Pandora *******. You know what though?? Unless vines cease crawling up houses just sounds like a Lady when you opened the door just a little like children we just barrel on through. That sex is something. Honestly. Strong as the need for air. Second to food. You ******* need to shake your fear far. I mean kick it out. Enemy number 1. Enemy number two? Self pity. So you can keep your head clear and heart soft. If you don't calamity will be right there. If you believe Love is truly the most powerful ******* in the universe trust me. Once you get fitted into your individuality and think you got it. Oops. Damn. Trust in it then. That is one word. If we have said it. The test can be great. I can guarantee you though. Love will be right there at your weakest. Carry you when you can't waly. My best friend is Love. I th8nk it should be 3verybodys but that is m3.Will not abandon you or her. You are the husband. You are accountable unless she ahesd dont care. My friend and husband of a great many years stood like a soldier. She is your Wife. My question sir to you is.. What won't you do for her? Best to you both. And yes. It would be so great if you both are unified. And can get your freak on together. I understand. Well good night. Hope this helped you
 
There's nothing to save though. She lied and is hiding it from him. Unless he confronts her and call her out and say you can fuck that guy it's cool just be honest about it. And he decides to deal with women who like submissive men.
There's.. Nothing ... To save. It is his world. Possibly his life. One thing I truly am learniny. Be careful what you say please,? Some souls
Unless he has ******* I don't see there's a reason to stay.
Have you.. Ever truly.. I mean.. 2 are 1true love?. You sounding ignorant callous and cold. 2hich IS making me think why stay and listen to you?
 
Bro, he wants to save the marriage lol
You both. Sound like you would marry quiters like you both are sounding just like. If you can't help this man with sane advice. At least. I won't ask for compassion. ******* no not that. MY be to much. Can't build him up please than shut up. May be the last time I tell you both this. At least at the same time anyway. Positive guys. Just put yourself in his place pleeading for a glimpse of hope. Please give him that. I may need it from you two . Oh boy. Thanks I Don't mean to be mean. I hope you hear.
 
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