Great question. I started out in this wanting to watch every time, to experience the passion and intimacy my wife was going through. It was a mandatory thing in my eyes and could not fathom how a husband could enjoy the thought of his wife off alone with a hung black man making love while he stayed home, not knowing or getting to experience anything.
Now we have yet to do this but as my wife and I have shared this fantasy I've found myself changing. I would want to watch the first few times and most certainly her first time with a black man and her first time with a new black man. However I have evolved to where I could envision my wife stepping out for the night with a hung black man and my imagination running wild at what she was going through alone with him and then coming home to tell me.
Odd how things can change like that.