Is it Cheating

#1
I'm a married 47 year old female. I have been married for 23 years and was a virgin when I met my husband, he is the only man ( besides my Dr) that has seen me naked. He recently asked me to have phone sex with a black man while he uses my black toy on me. He also won't have sex with me without using the toy first. Is this weird? I thought guys wanted a woman to be tight ? He is also brought up the idea of a black man giving me a massage( real one , I won't get nude) my bbc toy feels good, although I need a new one. Is my husband weird , is it cheating if I go through with it?
 
#2
I'm a married 47 year old female. I have been married for 23 years and was a virgin when I met my husband, he is the only man ( besides my Dr) that has seen me naked. He recently asked me to have phone sex with a black man while he uses my black toy on me. He also won't have sex with me without using the toy first. Is this weird? I thought guys wanted a woman to be tight ? He is also brought up the idea of a black man giving me a massage( real one , I won't get nude) my bbc toy feels good, although I need a new one. Is my husband weird , is it cheating if I go through with it?
Just have fun and go with the flow. If he is bored Kris you just have to reign him back in and fuck the shit out of him. Let your hair down and compete with the outside vices either that or enjoy the ride. He is having a middle age life crisis and maybe he wants to add a little spice to your lives. Why use a fake BBC when you can have the real thing.
 
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cps

Female
Real Person
Gold Member
From
TN, US
#4
Hi Kris and welcome to the site. I am a 46 year old wife and mom, and I can so relate to how you are feeling right now, because that was me at first when my hubby and I began discussing this. My advice - just talk. Good, honest sharing. I was shocked at first too, asking those questions of why he would want this for me. But the more we talked and shared, I began to realize he was sincere and wanted it for me. That he loved me enough, and was secure enough in himself and our marriage, that he wanted to give me this gift. I am so fortunate, I have the love and security of my marriage, but the opportunity to explore and experience my sexuality to the full.

Just enjoy the journey. Half the fun is in the talking, anticipation, nervousness, and desire. The one thing I can say about my hubby - he was never pushy. He encouraged me along the way, offered support and ideas, but ultimately let the desire build in me until it was my decision. It has to be that way, it has to be your decision. And I know he would have been okay either way I chose. But I am so glad I chose to do it, it has been the most intense and pleasurable sex I have ever experienced. And it has done so much for my self-image. I realize I am much more than a wife and mom. I am a sexually desirable, mature woman who can turn on young black guys. That is so fulfilling.

And for us, it is not cheating because we are always together when I play. And it is always about the sex, about fucking.

Have fun, enjoy the journey!
 
#5
Hi Kris and welcome to the site. I am a 46 year old wife and mom, and I can so relate to how you are feeling right now, because that was me at first when my hubby and I began discussing this. My advice - just talk. Good, honest sharing. I was shocked at first too, asking those questions of why he would want this for me. But the more we talked and shared, I began to realize he was sincere and wanted it for me. That he loved me enough, and was secure enough in himself and our marriage, that he wanted to give me this gift. I am so fortunate, I have the love and security of my marriage, but the opportunity to explore and experience my sexuality to the full.

Just enjoy the journey. Half the fun is in the talking, anticipation, nervousness, and desire. The one thing I can say about my hubby - he was never pushy. He encouraged me along the way, offered support and ideas, but ultimately let the desire build in me until it was my decision. It has to be that way, it has to be your decision. And I know he would have been okay either way I chose. But I am so glad I chose to do it, it has been the most intense and pleasurable sex I have ever experienced. And it has done so much for my self-image. I realize I am much more than a wife and mom. I am a sexually desirable, mature woman who can turn on young black guys. That is so fulfilling.

And for us, it is not cheating because we are always together when I play. And it is always about the sex, about fucking.

Have fun, enjoy the journey!
Wonderful response. Exactly what most of us white men here want for our women.
 
#8
It's not cheating if your husband watches. However, it sounds like you feel uncomfortable with it and he needs to respect that. Also, he may regret things once they've gone too far and that could ruin your marriage. Do what you choose. But still, I don't think it's cheating if he wants it and he watches.
 

bm_from_southjersey

Male
Staff member
Real Person
Gold Member
From
PA, US
#9
Hi Kris and welcome to the site. I am a 46 year old wife and mom, and I can so relate to how you are feeling right now, because that was me at first when my hubby and I began discussing this. My advice - just talk. Good, honest sharing. I was shocked at first too, asking those questions of why he would want this for me. But the more we talked and shared, I began to realize he was sincere and wanted it for me. That he loved me enough, and was secure enough in himself and our marriage, that he wanted to give me this gift. I am so fortunate, I have the love and security of my marriage, but the opportunity to explore and experience my sexuality to the full.

Just enjoy the journey. Half the fun is in the talking, anticipation, nervousness, and desire. The one thing I can say about my hubby - he was never pushy. He encouraged me along the way, offered support and ideas, but ultimately let the desire build in me until it was my decision. It has to be that way, it has to be your decision. And I know he would have been okay either way I chose. But I am so glad I chose to do it, it has been the most intense and pleasurable sex I have ever experienced. And it has done so much for my self-image. I realize I am much more than a wife and mom. I am a sexually desirable, mature woman who can turn on young black guys. That is so fulfilling.

And for us, it is not cheating because we are always together when I play. And it is always about the sex, about fucking.

Have fun, enjoy the journey!
Very well stated, this should be required reading for people considering the lifestyle.
 

MacNfries

Male
Sweet & Cordial
Gold Member
From
NC, US
#12
Kris, its always wise, in a situation as yours, to move slowly on this kind of stuff, particularly with the number of years you have invested in your marriage. Its often said that we "men" don't know what we want, and when it comes to sex, we do seem to have a knee jerk reaction. What he thinks might turn him "on", could actually screw him all up. I recall when my wife & I had a 3-some with one of her old BFs (a close friend of mine as well). At the time I encouraged it, my testosterones were raging, but the following day I had strong "remorse" as I came to my senses, thinking I could have rekindled an old love affair. Fortunately, both my wife & he assured me it was all in fun, and I eventually (note I did not say quickly) got over the ego bruise.
So, I guess my opinion is to just move slowly testing the waters of his desires. He may well be ready to take a new & exciting turn in your relationship, and it can most definitely be exciting. But, he could be just another "man that thinks he knows what he wants but doesn't". Good luck ... Mac
 

Torpedo

Male
Gold Member
#14
Cheating is when you are being deceptive. A marriage agreement like most other agreements should be expected to be renegotiated and modified over time. Neither you or you husband are the same people that walked down the aisle 23 years ago. Life experiences have changed you both. If needs and desires have changed the renegotiate a new agreement.
 

MacNfries

Male
Sweet & Cordial
Gold Member
From
NC, US
#15
I think a lot of people confuse "cheating" or, its proper name of "infidelity", with "adultery", and there's definitely a definitional difference. Read on ....

http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/adultery-and-infidelity-explained-6287647.html

Simply put, it is not cheating or infidelity if the husband acknowledges and/or encourages his wife to have sexual relationships with men other than himself.
Adultery is simply a violation of the seventh of God's Ten Commandments of the Christian religion ... Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery. I saw Charlton Heston, I mean Moses, get them from God myself ... :)
 
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willsrvu

Male
Real Person
Gold Member
#16
But why would a man who loves his wife want to pimp her out to another man? And why a black guy? I have men staring at my butt and hitting on me quite a lot, and they are always black.i asked my husband what would he do if he came home and caught me having sex with a black man, he said he would love it. I don't understand...
Because it is what turns him on, his kink. Just as some men are excited by a woman's feet or leather clothing or spanking or watching porn or whatever. Think about the things that excite you and consider that another woman might wonder why you feel that way because it does nothing for her.

There is nothing wrong with any of it, it just is what it is.

In your case, your husband is excited at the thought of watching you with another man, a black man. If the idea excites you as well, then enjoy it. If not, tell him so, but don't judge him badly for desiring it.
 
#18
I'm a married 47 year old female. I have been married for 23 years and was a virgin when I met my husband, he is the only man ( besides my Dr) that has seen me naked. He recently asked me to have phone sex with a black man while he uses my black toy on me. He also won't have sex with me without using the toy first. Is this weird? I thought guys wanted a woman to be tight ? He is also brought up the idea of a black man giving me a massage( real one , I won't get nude) my bbc toy feels good, although I need a new one. Is my husband weird , is it cheating if I go through with it?
It aint cheating if your man is ok with it.
 

babyblueyez

Female
Real Person
#19
But why would a man who loves his wife want to pimp her out to another man? And why a black guy? I have men staring at my butt and hitting on me quite a lot, and they are always black.i asked my husband what would he do if he came home and caught me having sex with a black man, he said he would love it. I don't understand...
Many men share the same fantasy that your husband does.....As long as 2 people are open and honest during any adventure together, I do not see where you could label anything as cheating. This is an adventure that he wanting you to share with him, as a couple....As long as you are comfortable with it then enjoy it doll!!!