I really need advice. No judgment.

M

Melissa87

Female
I have been married for two years to my college sweetheart. Not long after we married, he shared with me his interest in finding me a black man that would please me while he watched. I was very resistant to this at first, and it caused issues in our marriage, as well as affecting our sex life.
I finally decided to try it one time with a guy he found for me in an advertisement on Craigslist. The man was very attractive, tall, muscular. Well, one time led to an ongoing, weekly encounter as my husband watched. Then, one day, the guy informed me he didn't want to do this any longer with my husband present. He wanted to be with me alone, without him. I will be honest, the sex with this guy was better than any man I have ever been with, including my husband. But I was reluctant due to the ground rules my husband and I set.
My husband continually asked me where "Mark" went and why he was no longer coming over. I made up some excuse about him having a surgical procedure and he needed time to recover.
While my husband was out of town on business, "Mark" and I got together and had a very involved talk. It was something that was completely unexpected. He told me he wanted to stop doing this because he felt my husband was disrespecting me, and not valuing me as his wife. He said other things such as 'no man who truly is in love would want their wife to have sex with another man". It resonated with me in a way I did not expect.
"Mark" and I spent that night together at his home and we had sex. We spent every night after that together until my husband came home. I am now seeing "Mark" on the side without my husband's knowledge. I feel tremendously guilty about it and have thought about telling him.

That all transpired about two months ago and continues, but "Mark" is now wanting more from me. He wants me to leave my husband and file for divorce so I can be with him. I will be honest. I am afraid. I am financially dependent on my husband as I am out of a job. "Mark" tells me I never have to work and he will take care of me. He's talking long term, and recently, while at the mall, he took me to a jewelry store asking my opinion on what kind of engagement rings I liked. I asked him what his intentions were and he told me I had to make a decision.
I do love my husband but I now realize our marriage and relationship is not healthy. We get along, but our sex life is non existent now and he seems more into his job and hanging out with his buddies. "Mark", on the other hand, treats me like a husband should treat his wife. He is very respectful of me, values my opinion, and the sex is very fulfilling. I feel as if I am falling in love with him.
I would also like to ad that I am fearful of telling my family, especially my *******. What will they think?

It's another late night and my mind is racing. I cannot sleep. If anyone out there could give me some guidance and advice, I would appreciate it.

Thank you.
 
Melissa87 said:
I have been married for two years to my college sweetheart. Not long after we married, he shared with me his interest in finding me a black man that would please me while he watched. I was very resistant to this at first, and it caused issues in our marriage, as well as affecting our sex life.
I finally decided to try it one time with a guy he found for me in an advertisement on Craigslist. The man was very attractive, tall, muscular. Well, one time led to an ongoing, weekly encounter as my husband watched. Then, one day, the guy informed me he didn't want to do this any longer with my husband present. He wanted to be with me alone, without him. I will be honest, the sex with this guy was better than any man I have ever been with, including my husband. But I was reluctant due to the ground rules my husband and I set.
My husband continually asked me where "Mark" went and why he was no longer coming over. I made up some excuse about him having a surgical procedure and he needed time to recover.
While my husband was out of town on business, "Mark" and I got together and had a very involved talk. It was something that was completely unexpected. He told me he wanted to stop doing this because he felt my husband was disrespecting me, and not valuing me as his wife. He said other things such as 'no man who truly is in love would want their wife to have sex with another man". It resonated with me in a way I did not expect.
"Mark" and I spent that night together at his home and we had sex. We spent every night after that together until my husband came home. I am now seeing "Mark" on the side without my husband's knowledge. I feel tremendously guilty about it and have thought about telling him.

That all transpired about two months ago and continues, but "Mark" is now wanting more from me. He wants me to leave my husband and file for divorce so I can be with him. I will be honest. I am afraid. I am financially dependent on my husband as I am out of a job. "Mark" tells me I never have to work and he will take care of me. He's talking long term, and recently, while at the mall, he took me to a jewelry store asking my opinion on what kind of engagement rings I liked. I asked him what his intentions were and he told me I had to make a decision.
I do love my husband but I now realize our marriage and relationship is not healthy. We get along, but our sex life is non existent now and he seems more into his job and hanging out with his buddies. "Mark", on the other hand, treats me like a husband should treat his wife. He is very respectful of me, values my opinion, and the sex is very fulfilling. I feel as if I am falling in love with him.
I would also like to ad that I am fearful of telling my family, especially my *******. What will they think?

It's another late night and my mind is racing. I cannot sleep. If anyone out there could give me some guidance and advice, I would appreciate it.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
Hi is Mark putting pressure on you all the time now to divorce your hubby?
 
Melissa87 said:
I wouldn't say it's 'pressure'. He continually tells me that my marriage is already over and I haven't realized it yet. And that I deserve more than this.
Click to expand...
I see.. SIGH I wish I could talk tyiu by voice do that it's quicker .. Because I believe that you told yiur story very well and it seems to be that there are many problems that were created by the way that you agree with hubby to cuckold him.. It wasn't well thought out and your black has purposefully seduced you in the direction that you are currently going and tbh.. I don't believe that you should follow where he is leading you.. In fact , PLEASE don't! Please
 
Melissa.. Listen to me dear girl yiu can go with Mark, but, ultimately you'll be unhappy.. I simply cannot a genuine and authentic path forward where this will work out happily.. Please believe that this plea to you comes from a pure place of real human love and compassion ncern for you.. I don't want to see you get hurt!
 
I’m a bbc bull married to a white wife who is lovely but doesn’t like sex much any more I have finally realised that it’s not just about the sex it’s about how you want to live your life the joy that Mark brings etc I’m about to leave my wife as I have someone who is keen to indulge in my lifestyle so as long as Mark really is long term and can prove he is financially sound go for it life is for living Melissa now not next year etc x
 
Have you considered the option of going somewhere completely on your own to think this through, away from both of these men? You don't sound that positive about either of them, tbh... maybe you need to take a break and then start over with someone new, with all the knowledge you have acquired from this experience? Whatever you do, good luck! :)
 
I can not stress this enough everything you have describe about "Mark" nearly uniformly everyone here will find objectionable. His wanting to see you separately in violation of the rules. His disparaging if your husband confidence in your marriage and trust in you and desire that you have a great set life and allowed another man to fuck you, which Mark benefited from, does not in at way mean your husband disrespected you. In fact he showed trust and willingness to out his ego aside for your pleasure.
Let's see Mark has been selfish, and pushes you to lie to the person you said you would be life partners with.
Simply put Mark is a piece if shut. Seriously. This isn't even a choice. Your concerns about your husband can be worked on. Everyone's here concerns about Mark being a piece fo *******, yea that's a lot harder to work on. Work on your marriage and dump Mark. Seriously if you have any doubt that this is the right thing to do then youngster some serious character building to do.
 
Melissa87 said:
I have been married for two years to my college sweetheart. Not long after we married, he shared with me his interest in finding me a black man that would please me while he watched. I was very resistant to this at first, and it caused issues in our marriage, as well as affecting our sex life.
I finally decided to try it one time with a guy he found for me in an advertisement on Craigslist. The man was very attractive, tall, muscular. Well, one time led to an ongoing, weekly encounter as my husband watched. Then, one day, the guy informed me he didn't want to do this any longer with my husband present. He wanted to be with me alone, without him. I will be honest, the sex with this guy was better than any man I have ever been with, including my husband. But I was reluctant due to the ground rules my husband and I set.
My husband continually asked me where "Mark" went and why he was no longer coming over. I made up some excuse about him having a surgical procedure and he needed time to recover.
While my husband was out of town on business, "Mark" and I got together and had a very involved talk. It was something that was completely unexpected. He told me he wanted to stop doing this because he felt my husband was disrespecting me, and not valuing me as his wife. He said other things such as 'no man who truly is in love would want their wife to have sex with another man". It resonated with me in a way I did not expect.
"Mark" and I spent that night together at his home and we had sex. We spent every night after that together until my husband came home. I am now seeing "Mark" on the side without my husband's knowledge. I feel tremendously guilty about it and have thought about telling him.

That all transpired about two months ago and continues, but "Mark" is now wanting more from me. He wants me to leave my husband and file for divorce so I can be with him. I will be honest. I am afraid. I am financially dependent on my husband as I am out of a job. "Mark" tells me I never have to work and he will take care of me. He's talking long term, and recently, while at the mall, he took me to a jewelry store asking my opinion on what kind of engagement rings I liked. I asked him what his intentions were and he told me I had to make a decision.
I do love my husband but I now realize our marriage and relationship is not healthy. We get along, but our sex life is non existent now and he seems more into his job and hanging out with his buddies. "Mark", on the other hand, treats me like a husband should treat his wife. He is very respectful of me, values my opinion, and the sex is very fulfilling. I feel as if I am falling in love with him.
I would also like to ad that I am fearful of telling my family, especially my *******. What will they think?

It's another late night and my mind is racing. I cannot sleep. If anyone out there could give me some guidance and advice, I would appreciate it.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
Sounds like you do not take marriage vows seriously. Not judging but too many start swinging before the marriage is sound enough to handle it. If you want to throw away a husband who I assume loves and cares for you over great sex, have fun. I will never understand why people cheat but know many who have. You need to either commit to your marriage, never swing again since clearly you have issues with it, and be happy. start a family etc which is great or divorce and chase great sex. Just remember that at the end of the day, if you have someone who loves you no matter what, that is a good thing. Men are horndogs and will have sex with a fire hydrant. You can always find great sex by just going to a bar for more than 10 minutes but good luck finding a soulmate. That's just my opinion after today being our 28th anniversary. We've survived the rollercoaster of life, both could have chased great sex and I have no doubt Nikki had offers like yours but I am just happy she didn't act on them. Sharing a heart with someone for your life is much better than sharing body parts in the long run. Good luck.
 
Melissa87 said:
I have been married for two years to my college sweetheart. Not long after we married, he shared with me his interest in finding me a black man that would please me while he watched. I was very resistant to this at first, and it caused issues in our marriage, as well as affecting our sex life.
I finally decided to try it one time with a guy he found for me in an advertisement on Craigslist. The man was very attractive, tall, muscular. Well, one time led to an ongoing, weekly encounter as my husband watched. Then, one day, the guy informed me he didn't want to do this any longer with my husband present. He wanted to be with me alone, without him. I will be honest, the sex with this guy was better than any man I have ever been with, including my husband. But I was reluctant due to the ground rules my husband and I set.
My husband continually asked me where "Mark" went and why he was no longer coming over. I made up some excuse about him having a surgical procedure and he needed time to recover.
While my husband was out of town on business, "Mark" and I got together and had a very involved talk. It was something that was completely unexpected. He told me he wanted to stop doing this because he felt my husband was disrespecting me, and not valuing me as his wife. He said other things such as 'no man who truly is in love would want their wife to have sex with another man". It resonated with me in a way I did not expect.
"Mark" and I spent that night together at his home and we had sex. We spent every night after that together until my husband came home. I am now seeing "Mark" on the side without my husband's knowledge. I feel tremendously guilty about it and have thought about telling him.

That all transpired about two months ago and continues, but "Mark" is now wanting more from me. He wants me to leave my husband and file for divorce so I can be with him. I will be honest. I am afraid. I am financially dependent on my husband as I am out of a job. "Mark" tells me I never have to work and he will take care of me. He's talking long term, and recently, while at the mall, he took me to a jewelry store asking my opinion on what kind of engagement rings I liked. I asked him what his intentions were and he told me I had to make a decision.
I do love my husband but I now realize our marriage and relationship is not healthy. We get along, but our sex life is non existent now and he seems more into his job and hanging out with his buddies. "Mark", on the other hand, treats me like a husband should treat his wife. He is very respectful of me, values my opinion, and the sex is very fulfilling. I feel as if I am falling in love with him.
I would also like to ad that I am fearful of telling my family, especially my *******. What will they think?

It's another late night and my mind is racing. I cannot sleep. If anyone out there could give me some guidance and advice, I would appreciate it.

Thank you.
Click to expand...


No judgement here AT ALL, our situation was different, talk to 100 people and you will get 100 situations that are ALL very different. My wife is a lot younger, she was very sheltered when we met. We have a big tribe of *******, a great life etc.... but over the years she has begun to feel confident, curious, and brave enough to act on all the things that have racing through her mind all these years. This does not make me jealous, I do feel it makes me competitive and play my A game. Our sex life is amazing.

I am not a cuckold, I'm what is called a "stag"... a guy who enjoys sharing wife, without any submissive traits, and I've also been a "bull" for a few other couples. This person (won't call him a man) putting pressure on you... HE'S GOT TO GO! It's not part of the game and he is WAY out of bounds. Keep enjoying BBC, but find new opportunities.

We had our bumps. It all started with a 20 year old guy who was in the military, and he is gigantic, 10.5 inches to my 7.75. It felt really amazing to her to take that size. This ongoing dream come true ended when he was transferred to a base too far away.. I chalked it up to an amazing experience and that we just haven't been able to duplicate.

I WAS DEAD WRONG, she has continued to pursue her lust, but did so outside a very clearly laid out boundary we drew for ourselves. Keep it away from our careers, family, vanilla friends and neighbors. She's a composer and producer and in her industry, she works with a lot of people of varied ethnic backgrounds. It's become a matter of it being "cheating" ... and it's ******* over into our personal lives. It's horrifying to me to think about how many times I've gone waltzing into her office with the ******* in tow, knowing people were looking at me as a husband being cheated on. I'm fully retired, scored a couple of good paydays in business, they probably think I'm a .... who knows what, and it's none of their business, WHICH IS WHY WE HAD THE RULE TO BEGIN WITH!

We had a very hard couple of weeks, but in the end, her work environment is a world away from our home life in Orange County. Her tearful confession was very compelling, and I feel their is "safety in numbers".... meaning this isn't a matter of her getting attached to A black man, ti's a matter of she has to have every one she sees. WE WORKED IT OUT! She has to text me some photos, and under no circumstances are condoms allowed. Sperm competition is very much a part of the fantasy for me. And believe me, THIS IS AS MUCH FOR ME AS IT IS HER! I have to know she has their sperm inside her when I fuck her.

You have to tell your husband, and dump your bull. PERIOD! And never let this take away from the most natural, beautiful lifestyle on the planet.
 
Wonderfully brutally honest and genuine advice. I hope she takes it. And I'm glad to hear not only your marriage survived but that you also continued the lifestyle.
I've been a Bulls once I was 16. And over the years I've seen how many can be complete assholes, ruining marriages, families and more. Hopefully your comments will stop another such ocurance
 
I didn’t even read the whole post and can tell you this guy is a douche bag and getting in to your head! Same thing happened with a gf of mine! These are the type of douche bags that ruin Hotwife and cuckold relationships! Bullshit lines like “he doesn’t truly love you because he shares you and crap like that!

If you love your husband and I mean Truely love him and want to stay married get rid of this douche bag Mark guy ASAP! There is plenty of other black guys that will please you!

If you fed in to his bullshit lines that have been used before then divirce your husband before he finds out!

These are the type of guys I tell every new couple venturing in to the lifestyle to watch out for! Complete douche bags who play in to a woman’s/wife’s emotions and tear down an amazing marriage! These guys should be black listed from the lifestyle!

Good luck and hope you don’t buy in to this guys bullshit!
 
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