I have been fantasizing about this for over 20 years, but truly agonizing over it for the last year or so. I masturbate constantly thinking about it, to the point that it adversely affects our actual sex life. I am 54, she 51 and still very hot. How can I raise this with her in a way that will not result in my dying with shame if she rejects it out of hand. And how can I raise it with her in a way where she will not think I am insane if she rejects it. Any thoughts gratefully accepted.