How Do I Tell my Wife I Want Her to Fuck Other Men

[Paul Ramsey]

I have been fantasizing about this for over 20 years, but truly agonizing over it for the last year or so. I masturbate constantly thinking about it, to the point that it adversely affects our actual sex life. I am 54, she 51 and still very hot. How can I raise this with her in a way that will not result in my dying with shame if she rejects it out of hand. And how can I raise it with her in a way where she will not think I am insane if she rejects it.

Any thoughts gratefully accepted.

 

[MacNfries]

Any thoughts gratefully accepted.

Paul, welcome to b2w ... if you're hoping for some serious suggestions/responses, it would help if you gave the forum members some background info on you, your wife, and what sexual activities the 2 of you have brought into your marriage thus far. For example ...

#1...How long have the 2 of you been together and how frequently or infrequently are you having sex these days?
#2...Does she like any aspects of porn, sexual aids like vibrators, etc?
#3...Has she had sex with any other men since marrying you?
#4...What is her feelings toward black men?
#5...Does she initiate sex?
#6...Will she masturbate in front of you?
#7...Have the 2 of you ever talked about having 3-somes involving other men?

...If you're masturbating a lot, its almost a given that its affecting your sexual relationship with her, and if she's an outgoing, sexual woman, she's noticed and probably as frustrated as you.
...One sign of a good, stable marriage is the ability to communicate about issues/topics of interest/concern. Your sharing her with other men will probably make no sense to her if the 2 of you have never involved other people in the past. Plus, she'll assume if you're wishing to share her, then you're probably desiring to be with other females as well.
...Also, if the 2 of you have remained monogamous throughout your marriage thus far, you might want to ease into this activity rather than jump right in ... it WILL have an impact on your marriage and how each of you look at each other afterward ... and its not always a bed of roses. The thrill of cuckolding for men is usually the power pill of adrenaline (jealousy, envy, excitement, etc) that one gets when he sees his bride take her first cock outside your marriage. So, as well as you might think you'll enjoy it ... that's not necessarily the case, and once done, its irreversible. Involving others in your marriage sex can work, and it can elevate it back to the stage it was when you first had sex, but, that's not always the case, thus you have to be cautious and have good communications with each other.
...But, do take a few minutes to fill out your profile.
...Good luck

 

[hotwifecouple78]

Paul, welcome to b2w ... if you're hoping for some serious suggestions/responses, it would help if you gave the forum members some background info on you, your wife, and what sexual activities the 2 of you have brought into your marriage thus far. For example ...

#1...How long have the 2 of you been together and how frequently or infrequently are you having sex these days?
#2...Does she like any aspects of porn, sexual aids like vibrators, etc?
#3...Has she had sex with any other men since marrying you?
#4...What is her feelings toward black men?
#5...Does she initiate sex?
#6...Will she masturbate in front of you?
#7...Have the 2 of you ever talked about having 3-somes involving other men?

...If you're masturbating a lot, its almost a given that its affecting your sexual relationship with her, and if she's an outgoing, sexual woman, she's noticed and probably as frustrated as you.
...One sign of a good, stable marriage is the ability to communicate about issues/topics of interest. Your sharing her with other men will probably make no sense to her if the 2 of you have never involved other people in the past. Plus, she'll assume if you're wishing to share her, then you're probably desiring to be with other females as well.
...Also, if the 2 of you have remained monogamous throughout your marriage thus far, you might want to ease into this activity rather than jump right in ... it WILL have an impact on your marriage and how each of you look at each other afterward ... and its not always a bed of roses. The thrill of cuckolding for men is the power pill of adrenaline (jealousy, envy, excitement, etc) that one gets when he sees his bride take her first cock outside your marriage. So, as well as you might think you'll enjoy it ... that's not necessarily the case, and once done, its irreversible. But, involving others in your marriage sex can work, and it can elevate it back to the stage it was when you first had sex. But, that's not always the case, thus you have to be cautious.
...But, do take a few minutes to fill out your profile.
...Good luck

It is always so nice to read serious, intelligent, and thoughtful responses to real questions about the hotwife lifestyle instead of the usual silly and ridiculous comments and suggestions that so many men seem to post on threads.

 

[Torpedo]

I would question if you are ready because after 20 years you are reluctant to broach subject. I would expect that after a lot less than 20 years you should have reached a point where both of you could speak your mind to each other

 

[DDDebbie]

Communication is by far the most important part of any relationship, especially when you are wanting to involve others in your sexual relationship. And there is nothing worse than having a secret you are holding from your partner. Guilt, resentment and pain will result.

What many men tend not to understand is that when they bring up wanting their wife to have sex with other men, she is going to immediately wonder if you are wanting sex with other women. Trust has to be well built and strong in your relationship for any type of extra sex to work in your relationship. Even if your have a desire to have sex with other women, you have to be able to communicate to your wife that that desire is for the two of your to enjoy others, and that there is nothing lacking in the relationship between the two of you.

Wanting another man to do for your wife what you can't or won't do is a very loving gesture but, to a wife, this can be frightening. It can be perceived as her not doing enough or being enough for you. Although you may be enough for her, to get her to want to be with other men, your wife has to know that involving other men in your sexual relationship will enhance your relationship with each other. Your wife will have to see the other men as not just other men but, as extensions of you.

If sex has not been something the two of you have been able to discuss in the past, asking her to have sex with other men may not go over well. You MUST have good communication to be able to talk about sex, especially when you want it to involve other men. And your relationship must be strong in other areas, as well as your sexual relationship. If your relationship is not strong, involving another man or other men in your relationship who will fulfill your wife's needs and desires may not work well for you. She may not see a need for you.

If you want this type of relationship to be even slightly acceptable, then your wife has to see that you have value, outside of the bedroom. And she has to feel valued by you. You don't want your wife to feel that she isn't good enough for you. She has to know that you see her as the best thing that has ever happened to you. And if she does have sex with other men, she is the best thing that ever happened to you. So, for her to feel she is valued, you have to make her feel that way. Your wife has to feel she is a part of every aspect of your life. She has to know that you think she is beautiful. She needs you to listen to her as much as you want her to have sex with other men.

I suggest you find out what your wife needs most from you, first. Once you have fulfilled her needs, in and outside of the bedroom, you will have better luck getting her to want to help fulfill your needs of her having other men in your bed.