I agree with you in that people tend to think a big dick is actually bigger than it is. For example, I think a lot of 7” dicks turn into 9” dicks when people describe them. However, I think that tendency to exaggerate the size of dicks is pretty common everywhere. So even if BBCs are not as big as they are said to be, they are still bigger than others, because those other dicks are also smaller than they were said to be.
The measurements may be off, but the ratio is unaffected.
Regarding my wife’s experiences being skewed because only hung men are into fucking hotwives, I have to say I disagree with this reasoning. We have attended plenty of lifestyle parties where there were lots of single males, of multiple races, in attendance. Some of those males were nothing more than average, but they still showed up with confidence and got laid. So, if the average males of one race were out enjoying hotwives, why would average size black men avoid the scene?
And lastly, regarding showing and growing, I have read, on the interweb, that black men are showers. But again anecdotally, the men I’ve seen my wife with were all large soft, then she would do her thing and they would grow much larger when they got hard. So there’s that.