Catching feelings and jealousy

[Darkjumper]

Hey all, now this is actually a multi-question thread, so forgive me for that, I did not feel like posting more than once. So, I know, at least I hope no one gets into this with the plan to break up any homes/relationships. However, things happen, feelings get in the mix and you find yourself wrestling with emotions. Here are my questions:
If or when you realize you are catching feelings, and this goes both ways, what do you do? Do you give in to it, or do you stop meeting up and allow it to fade? On the other hand, now that you are emotionally invested, if or when you see your bull/hotwife with someone else whether it is their significant other or someone else, do you get jealous?
So there is no confusion, the situation can mean a bull that is in a committed relationship but is in the lifestyle. So let's say he is out with his lady, and the hotwife that is catching feelings sees him, that is where I going with this thread. And, vice versa, the bull is catching feelings, and now he is jealous if the hotwife is out with other bulls, etc. Does either of you come clean to your significant other that you now have feelings for bull/hotwife? If there are any in here that is the significant other and experience what I am referring to, please share. By the way, are there any bulls in here in committed relations, and are you sneaking or it is known to your lady? What I am also curious about is if any bull in here is in a non-interracial relationship.

 

[Joey Davis]

I'm about to enter into an interracial relationship, and I hope to develop the real deal.
I've been single all of my life, and I've been celibate for so long, because I have to honor other people's marriage vows, -even if they choose not to.
I will not share my, "bunny" with anyone, and she's all in with that, because I want to avoid the drama to which you're alluding.
Otherwise, I'm simply an ol' school romantic.
I registered on this site, because I enjoy much of the content, and cannot find it elsewhere.

In the final analysis, there is no way for me to qualify, or quantify the opportunities that I may have missed by not hooking-up with married women.
On the other hand, one can just imagine how much trouble, drama, and potential harm I've avoided by waiting until I was able to find my one and only lady companion.

27 OCTOBER, 2021 UPDATE:
It turns out that I won't be entering into a relationship with her after all.
I'm still in the market, and my views about how I want my relationship to unfold has not changed.

 

[Jekka]

Feelings can be a total pain in the butt. Going from only the point where I have been in this lifestyle with my husband I have caught feelings for two men other than him. The first man was from before I knew my husband and him and I had been on and off. There are long time feelings there but I kind of have to remind myself I am with my husband on that one.

The second one was a man my husband introduced me to and we get along great. We love talking and spending time together. There have been quite a few times I have caught feelings for this man and sometimes are harder then others. With this man I have to remind myself that we are together for fun and not for something more. Sometimes I have taken a step back and not texted as often and kind of focused my attention elsewhere for a bit to calm things down.

Feelings happen. Unless you are all about one night stands and then never seeing each other again they are going to happen. Everyone develops feelings for other people and sometimes they run deep. Now none of these feelings have been to the point where I have wanted to leave my husband but maybe I wouldn't mind having a couple of them lol.

 

[Jdingo619]

I have never experienced any jealousy in the lifestyle either of myself or any couple's but women catching feelings has happened several times and each time I shut it down real quick.

To me catching feelings means someone has simply lost focus as to why we are all here in the lifestyle having recreational sexual fun. I don't necessarily think it's as a bad thing but I do see it as something that if not checked or addressed quickly it could become a bad thing. To me a married woman's love is not for me to take. It can be offered but it is up to me to be the responsible party to do the right thing and say "I am honored and totally flattered but I cannot accept something so sacred that is not meant for me to have"! I equate accepting a married woman's love to accepting stolen property.

On a side note when it comes to any relationship or situationship that I have ever been in I have always stuck to the arrangement or the original deal with no exceptions. Men, well Alpha's are very good at this rule even to the point of being seen as assholes by women who want to change the deal or renegotiate a relationship or situationship dynamic.

For example: If a woman says "I just want some dick from time to time with no strings attached" and I say "ok cool we I do that"! Now y'all heard what she said right? Ok so now I start blowing her back out and sending that ass to planet bliss. I'm breaking all her sexual records. I now hold the top spot of her sexual partners. So one night after our usual sex sessions she tells me that she is falling in love with me and that we should actually be together. My response is that "I thought YOU said that this was an NSA situation"? Her response is "I know what I said but I can't help my feelings"! (Sounds like a person problem right!) So my response is "I think that things are just fine and that they should stay the way that they are"! (Now I'm an asshole!) Then she comes at me with the ultimatum of either I allow her to change the situation or we can't fuck anymore or even be friends! (WTF!) She even had the nerve to tell me "I feel like you are just using me for sex"! (Wait a minute y'all remember that she asked me to dick her down with no strings attached"!!!) Wow you initiated it, you have 10× the orgasms that I do, and yet I'm the one using you! So now she is upset getting dressed in the we hours of the morning and leaving because I'm sticking to the original deal. Oh well!

That situation ladies and gentlemen is one of the main reasons why I brought my talents to the swing lifestyle and and became a bull and just like I stuck to the deal when I was out there on the regular dating market I also stick to the deal in the lifestyle!✌

 

[Maury]

A woman who has beautiful sex with a handsome black man and experiences multiple orgasms every time is going to develop strong feelings for him. The passion may be so great that she cannot just walk away from the affair. My ex wife developed such strong feelings for her black boyfriend that she stopped taking her birth control so she could have his baby. I did everything that I could to stop the affair but the passion was overwhelming for her and she broke up our marriage to be with her black lover.

 

[GraceNLove]

I think anyone looking to make any long term connections with another couple/person through this or a similar lifestyle at some point is going to catch some feelings. It's not always a bad thing to have feelings for someone else unless it is causing issues with the person you are with or you're developing feelings you know are not going to be shared or are heading in a direction opposite of what you are doing. Then you might need to take a step back and catch your breath and re-focus.

 

[redhotarmywife]

I have had feelings for a Black man who was fucking me on a regular basis. I didn't tell him I had feelings for him. I did tell him that I cared about him and treasured his friendship. We are still friends to this day just not fwb due to us living in different states. I feel that one can have feelings for their Bull but one must keep it into perspective. Like @Jdingo619 said, there are rules and agreements made at the beginning of this type of relationship. All must stick to the deal, and when everyone does, everyone has a good time.

 

[Lullu]

Feelings happen. I know I easily develop feelings for people I call my friends and spend time with. On the flip side of things I know a lot of connections made in this lifestyle or temporary or not about making deep connections because that can lead to some big problems. It might not be the best way to handle things but typically I keep my feelings to myself especially when towards a man besides my husband and yes in worse case scenario will begin to distance myself from them. Luckily it has only come to that a few times since starting this.

 

[Jonlast]

During 2yrs of being in a boyfriend/girlfriend arrangement with a Hotwife, feelings was developed which came without surprise to neither of us nor to her husband. When you spend that much time with a person (chatted every single day)…. However, I never ever thought about getting in the middle of their marriage or getting anything more than what I was given.
Unfortunately, problems arose when we stopped being exclusive to each other. What used to be just plain fun, became petty arguments and resentment.. so naturally things came to an end. But it was fun while it last.

 

[heaven]

Been having a good time with hubby but met a hot really nice BBC and the biggest I had ever seen or been with. It was fun until he started developing feelings. We agreed in beginning just play fun would not play in front of hubby. I do love my hubby and his big Hispanic cock but this BBC just got to far. Had to break it off. He started spooking me. The sex was wow and fun but then started getting attached. So ended it with him so never again. I'm married I love my husband my hubby a good man and lovers are fun. Only in this lifestyle for wild good sex at 50

 

[B Brown]

Unless you're doing one off, one night stand kinda things, I expect some kind of feelings may develop from either the wives, bulls, or both. Hopefully, all who are involved are mentally stable enough to handle this appropriately. Every situation will be different, but no one should get into this lifestyle thinking if feelings develop breaking up a family home is an option.

Ideally, this should be an enhancement to one's sexual life and not too much more.

 

[avaadore]

I have nothing but love for the men in my life - I don't do casual sex, I only do ongoing fwb type dynamics. I never say "no strings attached" because that isn't how I operate. I need to like you as a human and want to be around you to want to fuck you.

Feelings are natural and can't really be helped but what can be helped is where you funnel the emotion into. Personally I funnel it into the friendship.

My main fwb and I are super tight - like emergency contact, I have a key to his house level tight - we've been seeing each other for 5yrs with a brief period a few years ago where we stopped having any sort of sexual interaction because he got into a monogamous relationship. I was never jealous, I want the people I care about to be happy whether it changes our dynamic or not.

 

[SeanS]

A woman who has beautiful sex with a handsome black man and experiences multiple orgasms every time is going to develop strong feelings for him. The passion may be so great that she cannot just walk away from the affair. My ex wife developed such strong feelings for her black boyfriend that she stopped taking her birth control so she could have his baby. I did everything that I could to stop the affair but the passion was overwhelming for her and she broke up our marriage to be with her black lover.

Not everything

 

[Darkjumper]

I have never experienced any jealousy in the lifestyle either of myself or any couple's but women catching feelings has happened several times and each time I shut it down real quick.

To me catching feelings means someone has simply lost focus as to why we are all here in the lifestyle having recreational sexual fun. I don't necessarily think it's as a bad thing but I do see it as something that if not checked or addressed quickly it could become a bad thing. To me a married woman's love is not for me to take. It can be offered but it is up to me to be the responsible party to do the right thing and say "I am honored and totally flattered but I cannot accept something so sacred that is not meant for me to have"! I equate accepting a married woman's love to accepting stolen property.

On a side note when it comes to any relationship or situationship that I have ever been in I have always stuck to the arrangement or the original deal with no exceptions. Men, well Alpha's are very good at this rule even to the point of being seen as assholes by women who want to change the deal or renegotiate a relationship or situationship dynamic.

For example: If a woman says "I just want some dick from time to time with no strings attached" and I say "ok cool we I do that"! Now y'all heard what she said right? Ok so now I start blowing her back out and sending that ass to planet bliss. I'm breaking all her sexual records. I now hold the top spot of her sexual partners. So one night after our usual sex sessions she tells me that she is falling in love with me and that we should actually be together. My response is that "I thought YOU said that this was an NSA situation"? Her response is "I know what I said but I can't help my feelings"! (Sounds like a person problem right!) So my response is "I think that things are just fine and that they should stay the way that they are"! (Now I'm an asshole!) Then she comes at me with the ultimatum of either I allow her to change the situation or we can't fuck anymore or even be friends! (WTF!) She even had the nerve to tell me "I feel like you are just using me for sex"! (Wait a minute y'all remember that she asked me to dick her down with no strings attached"!!!) Wow you initiated it, you have 10× the orgasms that I do, and yet I'm the one using you! So now she is upset getting dressed in the we hours of the morning and leaving because I'm sticking to the original deal. Oh well!

That situation ladies and gentlemen is one of the main reasons why I brought my talents to the swing lifestyle and and became a bull and just like I stuck to the deal when I was out there on the regular dating market I also stick to the deal in the lifestyle!✌

Facts. Been there done that. We should sue their asses for breach of contract lol.

 

[SeanS]

Facts. Been there done that. We should sue their asses for breach of contract lol.

Scruples, honor, integrity, code

 

[Darkjumper]

Scruples, honor, integrity, code

Don't get me wrong, you can't fight human nature. But the thing is when that happens, and it is not reciprocated, some try to make YOU feel like you doing them wrong. One time a woman told me she loved me, I could not say it back cause I did not feel the same. I was read the riot act.

 

[ErikaG]

I'm about to enter into an interracial relationship, and I hope to develop the real deal.
I've been single all of my life, and I've been celibate for so long, because I have to honor other people's marriage vows, -even if they choose not to.
I will not share my, "bunny" with anyone, and she's all in with that, because I want to avoid the drama to which you're alluding.
Otherwise, I'm simply an ol' school romantic.
I registered on this site, because I enjoy much of the content, and cannot find it elsewhere.

In the final analysis, there is no way for me to qualify, or quantify the opportunities that I may have missed by not hooking-up with married women.
On the other hand, one can just imagine how much trouble, drama, and potential harm I've avoided by waiting until I was able to find my one and only lady companion.

27 OCTOBER, 2021 UPDATE:
It turns out that I won't be entering into a relationship with her after all.
I'm still in the market, and my views about how I want my relationship to unfold has not changed.

Hello my love how have you been?

 

[Joey Davis]

Hello my love how have you been?

Same as always.
How are you?

 

[ErikaG]

Same as always.
How are you?

I am fine as always. I miss you, my love oxxoxo

 

[Blonde Wife PAWG]

Been having a good time with hubby but met a hot really nice BBC and the biggest I had ever seen or been with. It was fun until he started developing feelings. We agreed in beginning just play fun would not play in front of hubby. I do love my hubby and his big Hispanic cock but this BBC just got to far. Had to break it off. He started spooking me. The sex was wow and fun but then started getting attached. So ended it with him so never again. I'm married I love my husband my hubby a good man and lovers are fun. Only in this lifestyle for wild good sex at 50

Excellent share, thank you