There is more to it than that. My wife and I have tried other kinks, but they don't work for me. Seeing my wife tied to a bed is hot, but when she would do that with just me, all I could think about was some black stud finding her like that and fucking her helpless, exposed body into an hour long continuous orgasm. I don't have sexual fantasies about myself anymore, just fantasies about her getting fucked by hung black guys.
Also, the first time I sank my little dick into my wife's stretched out pussy after a black stud had fucked her senseless, I knew I wouldn't want to fuck her any other way. My dick felt so small and useless sloshing around her gaping, cum filled snatch. When she said "i can barely feel you at all after him" as I was fucking her, I came so hard I think I ******* for a few moments. When it is just the two of us (which isn't often now), I need to use one of her dildos on her both to make her cum and stretch her out so I can fantasize that some big stud has just fucked her when I enter her.
She knows that I am addicted to this. I work from home a lot, and she knew I was watching too much IR porn and beating off, so she caged me. The cage doesn't stop me from thinking about it, but it does stop me from jerking off.
