You are a good man. Also very smart.
When I was in NYC - I had so many options that if a husband didn't treat me with appreciation - I had zero incentive to prioritize them. And I don't think a lot of husbands realize that the "bulls" you want - aren't desperate losers.
Just to give an example - I met this one couple. I really liked the wife, but the husband was being a hard ass with me. The wife was older, late 40s and the husband wanted me to pay for a hotel. And I was like "why?" So he said to me, "because you're lucky to fuck my wife."
I told him that I wasn't going to pay for a hotel - so he canceled the date. I then texted one of my FWB, who was a 19 year old college girl, and went to her dorm and fucked her an hour later. I have always been very selective with couples and never quick to get into bed with women. I find that the slower you take sex with married women - the better off you are in the long run. Women in my experience, have a different perspective on sex than most men - so I want to know how a woman thinks - before I agree to have sex with her.
I feel like we should be on the same page.
I wish more husbands were as smart as you seem to be.