Hello, new guy here.
This is long and all over the place, so if I went off the tracks, please feel free to ask questions for clarity or more insight on a specific area or time in my life.
For me, my foray into being a cuckold was a very slow progression.
Like many kinks/fetishes, my journey started when I was at an impressionable ago, my very first GF cheated on me. At the time I was heartbroken and angry, moved on. Second GF cheated on me. Third GF (and fiancee) also cheated on me. I kept falling for the obvious lies and while I saw the red flags and knew, I still wanted them .. so I just tried to make it work in every situation.
My 4th GF I was 23. Her name was Jen. She pretended to be so innocent, but was curious to try a threesome with another girl, so I happily agreed. But then she turned the tables on me and used my eagerness to modify it to a MFM threesome. We did a couple of mfm's and she mostly ignored me during them, mostly trying to get me off asap so she could focus more on the other guy. She then started denying me sex, then started going out on dates with other men, coming home used. She was a complete slut, but her brand of denial and mean-ness really didn't work for me. She was ruthless and unfeeling and only cared about herself. She weaponized my own desires against me.
It was not ideal, and it really cut me deep - I had thought she was the love of my life at the time, so I put up with it for a few months until it became obvious that she never loved me. She just needed a rock. I left her.
I have to admit, ever since Jen I had started fantasizing about Jen fucking other men, but without the mean-ness, when I masturbated. Over time, the fantasies in my head would revolve around her and our first MFM guy cucking me, making me suck him, or guide him into her, or clean her up. The fantasies got more risque as time went on, to the point that I would fantasize about her bing gangbanged and me being ****** to fluff the men and clean her up with my tongue.
About a year later, I met a dominant female by chance (Mary). She was very experienced and understood all the bdsm stuff I never really thought about or delved into. She knew I was a perverted freak and helped me migrate from vanilla to kinky. She taught me to accept and be open to my submissive side. She would crossdress me (full wig and makeup and lingerie) and tease me that she would bring guys over for me to suck and fuck. She rewarded me well when I was a good boy and she fucked my ass with a dildo or other household objects every time she dressed me.
While my relationship with Mary was ideal for me, it wasn't for her. She had a past that caught up to her and she left me so that I wasn't pulled into the BS. Looking back, it was a lot of BS and she did it to protect me. I do believe she truly loved me and had to let me go. It hurt but I understood.
So then I met my current wife. She was sexually adventurous, we watched gangbang porn, some mfm, and she was really into it. We did some kinky stuff together and she introduced me to snowballing. I was thinking she's the one and married her.
Unfortunately post-marriage, her sex drive died. We never made it to the point of playing with others.
So, after a few years and having a kid, our sex life was just dead. I started browsing porn and found cuckold porn, and slowly got into it. At first it was shocking. I couldn't believe these guys were just taking such a submissive and accepting role - this was the part that I struggled with so much - the extreme jealousy, the guilt after cumming, etc. All of it was hard to bear. But these homemade cucks just accepted it. Some of them were in chastity which also was shocking to me at first. I'd ask myself "why in the world would he wear that??" The idea of not getting to cum really took the option off the table for me, but then again, I was just a horny dad browsing porn, so it didn't seem to matter.
I saw there were different types of cuckold, and I thought to myself that's better, I can mix and match what I like. Cuckold release from chastity and sloppy seconds seemed ideal, playful, fun. Even the humiliation excited me when it was more loving than mean. The mean stuff I still to this day can't digest, it brings up too much pain, but the sensual and loving cuckold stuff greatly appeals to me.
So after a while the shock wore off and I started wondering what chastity could possibly feel like, I couldn't imagine my cock in a tube and unable to get hard, but I was super curious to at least try it. I eventually started obsessing over it and ordered a cage at the time (2016 roughly, the CB6000 was the king of the hill at the time).
I had a lot of problems with it, it was hard to get on, too tight, uncomfortable, etc. I rarely put it on and only lasted a few minutes before the pain and uncomfotability would overwhelm me and I would have to take it off. I did get the sense of it though! Dick trying to get hard in the cage was/is definitely a unique and sexual feeling. Over the years I tried a few other cages and found the Vice to be comfortable enough to wear for longer durations. Getting hard is impossible but getting plump isn't.. And it also makes the cage constrict and get uncomfortable, what a unique feeling! Calming down would reduce the constriction and so tease, denial, calm, tease, denial, calm, etc.. It's edging basically. The longest I've edged so far is about 18 hours (off and on tease/denial throughout that 18 hours).
Back to the wife.. our sex life was mostly dead by 2015, once or twice a year and very vanilla, to the point where neither of us wanted it anymore. I got a little ******* one night and confessed to her my desire to be submissive and be cuckolded. I wanted to eat another man's creampie from her pussy. She actually seemed interesting and into it and when we got home, we took a shower together where she made me wash her head-to-toe, then had me dry her off, etc.
In the bedroom, she had me kneel at the end of the bed and lick suck her toes for a long, long time. Once she was satisfied, she had me lick her pussy to two orgasms, again it took a while, maybe 30-40 minutes. She finally told me to fuck her and cum inside her. When I got on top, she immediately grabbed and tweaked my nipples, which so you know, is my easy button. My nips are super sensitive and if I'm fucking, then tweaking them makes me cum in seconds. Soon as I came inside of her, she ordered me to lick it all up. It was tough.. once I cum, I lose all my desires for a refractory period, but her tone was demanding and didn't suggest she wanted to ask twice, so I went down on her and licked up the creampie.
What an amazing and unique experience. I could taste her pussy, my cock, and my cum all at the same time and it was delicious. She gasped at first, I think shocked that I was doing it, and she orgasmed quickly. I thought this was maybe a great start to a new chapter in our lives.
But she back pedaled. She told me a few days later that she doesn't want any part of my fucked up fantasies and to go elsewhere for that stuff. Our sex life never recovered from that, at least not really. We did try a few times, but as I dove deeper into the kink, she backed out further and further to the point that our last time having sex was 2019 I think. She told me to go elsewhere for my kinky play. So I did. We're still together, but more like roommates than a couple.
I joined a swinger site and found groups for cuckolding, crossdressing, bi play, etc.. I started going to sex parties. At first, shocking, and I just watched, but after the first one, I started joining in, I really wanted to try sucking cock and wanted to know what cum in mouth felt and tasted like.
I accomplished all of that and then some. I eventually met dominas/cuckoldresses who helped train me, so to speak. And here's the answer to your initial questions-
The cage became the untimate edging device. When I am wearing it, I'm turned on, and it never ends. My mistresses would tease me, make me please them, crossdress me, make me suck their bulls, clean their creampies, and sometimes I would get released, sometimes ruined orgasm, or sloppy seconds, and other times just denied and stay locked up. All of it was just amazing experience after amazing experience. I started to fetishize black men, especially the 9"+ guys. Sucking on a cock that big is a life-changing experience lol. Watching her take it and love it was also amazing and life changing.
It took years of self-discovery to figure out what I was into and what role(s) I wanted to take, but in reality the thing that makes it worthwhile is seeing her pleasure. Comparitively, I could cook her a meal, but why would I deny her a 5-star chef-cooked meal sometimes? I could build a slide in the backyard, but why would I deny her a theme park of roller coasters? Sex is the same- I can't give her the giant dick, nor do I fuck as as good as the bulls do, so it seems natural to let a woman follow her desires, own me and my cock, and cage me to keep me enamoured with her, especially when she's with her bull(s). I get off by pleasing others, so it makes sense to me.
It's worth mentioning that I'm a high-functioning autistic man, I might appear normal to most people, but I have quirks and there are other conditions that accompany it, such as hyper-sexuality. I'm basically a nympho, a complete slut, for men, women, trans, doesn't matter. I have a need to serve and pleasure people. It's apparently common for higher-functioning autistic men to be hypersexual and engage in wild kinks.
I've cum in chastity, once just spontaneously when just super aroused (and having a giant cock in my mouth while another was cumming all over the side of my face), but usually with a vibrator or from a ruined orgasm.
The problem I have is that my wife isn't participating, so the chastity is often self-imposed as a foreplay / masturbation tool when I don't have a party or partner to join. It may sound contradictory, but chastity is extremely liberating, though I'm not sure I can explain the dynamics of why that's the case. I do love being submissive, and that's common among my profession (executive), and it's true what they say about us needing to disconnect from that role in life and just let go off all decision making and do as we're told.
So that's the basics, feel free to ask questions if you want to know more or get more insights. Peace.
