Advice on how to interact with hotwives and their respectable husbands (40+)

programmed2plz

programmed2plz

Male
Real Person
Hi everyone,

I'm pretty new to this lifestyle, started last summer with a couple around my age (20s). However, for a while I always wanted to date older women, which I started to do since last Fall, but I've never interacted with an older couple, especially a hotwife and her husband in this lifestyle.

I am planning on going to my first ever swingers party next month. How do I properly interact with older hotwives and their husbands? I'm assuming I interact with the upmost integrity, fun, and respect just like any other couple. I'm just a bit worried about the generation gap and things to say. However, I am interested in sharing stories and hearing each other's life experiences.

Thank you all!
 
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Welcome to the lifestyle bro! I'm 47 and been been in the lifestyle for at least 13 years. Been to lots of private lifestyle parties over the years.

Be presentable and dress casually smooth looking good and smelling good. Make sure you are well groomed from the hair cut to trimmed man areas. As long as you are visually appealing and attractive that is definitely a huge door opener and cuts your work of getting to know some women in half. Meaning if you are hot looking and hung they're fuckin! Trust me alot can by bypass a potential playmate who's a knucklehead or has an attitude as long as they got the goods, but nothing works better than good old fashion charm and being a well spoken smooth gentleman!

The best thing about parties is the potential for making connections and networking! If you fuck one woman in a room full of people and you drive her crazy and get her off good in front of everyone then every woman in that room is gonna want that same good dick! Most of them will definitely want a turn and some will even get your info so they can hook up with you in private. Most of the parties I have attended I probably banged every woman at the party every time.

Keep in mind people who throw private lifestyle parties tend to fill their guest list with people who are as attractive as they are. At least that has always been my experience here in Southern California.

Always be friendly and smiling and a gentleman. Always ask first especially if you are not sure! For example: you are at a party and you have already played with a few women and you see a woman and she is playing with 3 other guys and she absolutely looks like she is enjoying all the attention. Her hubby is right next to the bed watching and taking pictures. You want to join and give her a 4th cock to play with but you are not sure if it's cool or not? Get hubby's attention and say "may I join"? Nine times out of ten they will be generous and say yes! Most probably wouldn't even object if you joined without asking but as a veteran bull in the game and a gentleman I advise you to always ask!

Also if you like a hotwife that you see and you want to play with her at a later time then ask her for her contacts info. Out of respect if she is clearly married or has a boyfriend always refer to them both and never make her man feel like you are trying to cut him out of the picture. Basically say "hey I would love to hook up with you guys in a more private setting for fun how can I contact you and chat with you"?

As far as performance goes always come with your A game bro! If you come with a limp dick trust me they will be nice but sorely disappointed and every other bull or young stud they meet will hear about is as one of their most disappointing experiences! They love the excitement and the young energy and stamina of young guys. Quick recovery but young guys don't tend to focus enough on making sure everything that they are doing is pleasurable to the woman. Don't just be energetically pounding away trying to get your nut off! Actually make sure you are making her cum as well and you will get that repeat invite.

Ok hope this advice helps. If you have any questions just message me. I always willing to put someone up on game! Have fun!✌🏿
 
Upvote 2 Downvote
Jdingo619 said:
Welcome to the lifestyle bro! I'm 47 and been been in the lifestyle for at least 13 years. Been to lots of private lifestyle parties over the years.

Be presentable and dress casually smooth looking good and smelling good. Make sure you are well groomed from the hair cut to trimmed man areas. As long as you are visually appealing and attractive that is definitely a huge door opener and cuts your work of getting to know some women in half. Meaning if you are hot looking and hung they're fuckin! Trust me alot can by bypass a potential playmate who's a knucklehead or has an attitude as long as they got the goods, but nothing works better than good old fashion charm and being a well spoken smooth gentleman!

The best thing about parties is the potential for making connections and networking! If you fuck one woman in a room full of people and you drive her crazy and get her off good in front of everyone then every woman in that room is gonna want that same good dick! Most of them will definitely want a turn and some will even get your info so they can hook up with you in private. Most of the parties I have attended I probably banged every woman at the party every time.

Keep in mind people who throw private lifestyle parties tend to fill their guest list with people who are as attractive as they are. At least that has always been my experience here in Southern California.

Always be friendly and smiling and a gentleman. Always ask first especially if you are not sure! For example: you are at a party and you have already played with a few women and you see a woman and she is playing with 3 other guys and she absolutely looks like she is enjoying all the attention. Her hubby is right next to the bed watching and taking pictures. You want to join and give her a 4th cock to play with but you are not sure if it's cool or not? Get hubby's attention and say "may I join"? Nine times out of ten they will be generous and say yes! Most probably wouldn't even object if you joined without asking but as a veteran bull in the game and a gentleman I advise you to always ask!

Also if you like a hotwife that you see and you want to play with her at a later time then ask her for her contacts info. Out of respect if she is clearly married or has a boyfriend always refer to them both and never make her man feel like you are trying to cut him out of the picture. Basically say "hey I would love to hook up with you guys in a more private setting for fun how can I contact you and chat with you"?

As far as performance goes always come with your A game bro! If you come with a limp dick trust me they will be nice but sorely disappointed and every other bull or young stud they meet will hear about is as one of their most disappointing experiences! They love the excitement and the young energy and stamina of young guys. Quick recovery but young guys don't tend to focus enough on making sure everything that they are doing is pleasurable to the woman. Don't just be energetically pounding away trying to get your nut off! Actually make sure you are making her cum as well and you will get that repeat invite.

Ok hope this advice helps. If you have any questions just message me. I always willing to put someone up on game! Have fun!✌🏿
Click to expand...
That's OG right there.
 
Upvote 1 Downvote
I don't disagree with anything jdingo619 said but will add my $0.02 with a little variance. I started in 1988 as half of a couple and half been solo since 98 (widower). Definitely cleanliness is the first thing; when you dress consider if your choices appeal to younger or older women and do know less bling is more!

You said a swing party and not a club; you should be able to ask the organizer/host if the 'regulars' are a group of friends or if the party trends in a specific direction. My first alone was a group of thick to BBW women with non participating husbands, mostly watchers. A lot of the house parties will start with icebreaker games, cards, dice, board games. Newer people to the life or to their group start hesitant, get in early but do not laser focus on anyone, interact with as many as you can before the party gets serious.

Jdingo referred to 'the knuckleheads'; I'm curious his reaction when I say assholes and no manners. Never approach a wife and not acknowledge her husband at all; most husbands have veto power and use it when feeling disrespected, and ALL of them start from a mindset of being the wife's protector. BUT husband's frequently are the one who initiated the lifestyle, so if you see her hubby alone, do speak to him. He can tell you a lot, but use your inner ear to hear whether he's telling you his fantasy as opposed to hers or what they discussed. One hubby told me to make sure I spanked her ass and she went ballistic on the first smack which wasn't a hard one....I'm glad she didn't just quit.
 
Upvote 1 Downvote
Jdingo619 said:
Welcome to the lifestyle bro! I'm 47 and been been in the lifestyle for at least 13 years. Been to lots of private lifestyle parties over the years.

Be presentable and dress casually smooth looking good and smelling good. Make sure you are well groomed from the hair cut to trimmed man areas. As long as you are visually appealing and attractive that is definitely a huge door opener and cuts your work of getting to know some women in half. Meaning if you are hot looking and hung they're fuckin! Trust me alot can by bypass a potential playmate who's a knucklehead or has an attitude as long as they got the goods, but nothing works better than good old fashion charm and being a well spoken smooth gentleman!

The best thing about parties is the potential for making connections and networking! If you fuck one woman in a room full of people and you drive her crazy and get her off good in front of everyone then every woman in that room is gonna want that same good dick! Most of them will definitely want a turn and some will even get your info so they can hook up with you in private. Most of the parties I have attended I probably banged every woman at the party every time.

Keep in mind people who throw private lifestyle parties tend to fill their guest list with people who are as attractive as they are. At least that has always been my experience here in Southern California.

Always be friendly and smiling and a gentleman. Always ask first especially if you are not sure! For example: you are at a party and you have already played with a few women and you see a woman and she is playing with 3 other guys and she absolutely looks like she is enjoying all the attention. Her hubby is right next to the bed watching and taking pictures. You want to join and give her a 4th cock to play with but you are not sure if it's cool or not? Get hubby's attention and say "may I join"? Nine times out of ten they will be generous and say yes! Most probably wouldn't even object if you joined without asking but as a veteran bull in the game and a gentleman I advise you to always ask!

Also if you like a hotwife that you see and you want to play with her at a later time then ask her for her contacts info. Out of respect if she is clearly married or has a boyfriend always refer to them both and never make her man feel like you are trying to cut him out of the picture. Basically say "hey I would love to hook up with you guys in a more private setting for fun how can I contact you and chat with you"?

As far as performance goes always come with your A game bro! If you come with a limp dick trust me they will be nice but sorely disappointed and every other bull or young stud they meet will hear about is as one of their most disappointing experiences! They love the excitement and the young energy and stamina of young guys. Quick recovery but young guys don't tend to focus enough on making sure everything that they are doing is pleasurable to the woman. Don't just be energetically pounding away trying to get your nut off! Actually make sure you are making her cum as well and you will get that repeat invite.

Ok hope this advice helps. If you have any questions just message me. I always willing to put someone up on game! Have fun!✌🏿
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your thoughful response and sharing your experiences. I couldn't agree with you more about keeping a friendly demeanor, respect to both couples, and hygene. Those are seriously points that should be established not only in the lifestyle but every day interaction.

I really appreciate this 🙏🏾
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
SCBlknNsty said:
I don't disagree with anything jdingo619 said but will add my $0.02 with a little variance. I started in 1988 as half of a couple and half been solo since 98 (widower). Definitely cleanliness is the first thing; when you dress consider if your choices appeal to younger or older women and do know less bling is more!

You said a swing party and not a club; you should be able to ask the organizer/host if the 'regulars' are a group of friends or if the party trends in a specific direction. My first alone was a group of thick to BBW women with non participating husbands, mostly watchers. A lot of the house parties will start with icebreaker games, cards, dice, board games. Newer people to the life or to their group start hesitant, get in early but do not laser focus on anyone, interact with as many as you can before the party gets serious.

Jdingo referred to 'the knuckleheads'; I'm curious his reaction when I say assholes and no manners. Never approach a wife and not acknowledge her husband at all; most husbands have veto power and use it when feeling disrespected, and ALL of them start from a mindset of being the wife's protector. BUT husband's frequently are the one who initiated the lifestyle, so if you see her hubby alone, do speak to him. He can tell you a lot, but use your inner ear to hear whether he's telling you his fantasy as opposed to hers or what they discussed. One hubby told me to make sure I spanked her ass and she went ballistic on the first smack which wasn't a hard one....I'm glad she didn't just quit.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much for your advice! I never thought of that about if the attendees are a group of friends or specific to a trend. I can definitely ask that.
 
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programmed2plz said:
Thank you so much for your thoughful response and sharing your experiences. I couldn't agree with you more about keeping a friendly demeanor, respect to both couples, and hygene. Those are seriously points that should be established not only in the lifestyle but every day interaction.

I really appreciate this 🙏🏾
Click to expand...
No problem bro always willing to put another brother up on game and ensure your success! Just pay it forward to the next bro!✌🏿
 
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dickhurtz472 said:
don't be surprised that opder women are more aggressive & forthcoming than younger ones. they, generally, know what they want & aren't afraid to let their wishes known.

please keep us posted.
Click to expand...
That is what I like about older women. They know exactly what they want and they don't bs about it. Thank you very much!

I'll definitely keep you all posted after my first swinger's party next month
 
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Back in the early 80s, before AIDs had become a big problem, there was a club in Rochester where divorced women would go for nightlife action with mostly black men. It was in an old hotel in a city neighborhood that had gone out of business and had been bought by a couple of local black men entrepreneurs. The bar/lounge was large and popular with soul/motown performers sounds and attracted a lot of divorced and cheating women of the baby boom generation. There was a lot of sensuous dancing between white women and black men patrons. As things got hot in the lounge within the old hotel there were rooms where the black studs could take their white dance partners so they both could get some satisfaction. By the late 80s the club was closed down for lack of paying taxes, but its popularity had declined due to the AIDs scare and the end of the free love era. I often wonder why there aren't more interracial social clubs like this today. What a perfect setting these guys had. Swinging entertainment for the black and white clientele and ready hotel rooms for their sexual activities.
 
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Maury said:
Back in the early 80s, before AIDs had become a big problem, there was a club in Rochester where divorced women would go for nightlife action with mostly black men. It was in an old hotel in a city neighborhood that had gone out of business and had been bought by a couple of local black men entrepreneurs. The bar/lounge was large and popular with soul/motown performers sounds and attracted a lot of divorced and cheating women of the baby boom generation. There was a lot of sensuous dancing between white women and black men patrons. As things got hot in the lounge within the old hotel there were rooms where the black studs could take their white dance partners so they both could get some satisfaction. By the late 80s the club was closed down for lack of paying taxes, but its popularity had declined due to the AIDs scare and the end of the free love era. I often wonder why there aren't more interracial social clubs like this today. What a perfect setting these guys had. Swinging entertainment for the black and white clientele and ready hotel rooms for their sexual activities.
Click to expand...
I'm from Rochester, what was that club's name?
 
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