Wife cried. Time to shut door on fantasy?

[Beautyandheat]

This sounds like a good step for your marriage in that you can be open and she doesn't hold it against you. I'm thinking of what makes for a good marriage and not from what gets you to your fantasy threesome.

A part of getting honesty is to not overreact to what you get, and it sounds like your wife did that. That's more openness and trust, which is good, whatever she says. I'd thank her for her being gentle with you.

Second, upon reflection I'd talk to her about what made her cry. What was going on for her? It might point to something she's carrying you can help her let go of.

Finally, I also like the idea of asking her what her fantasies are. That sounds like a good plan, totally from the standpoint of a good marriage,.

P.S. I've had one failed marriage without good communication and am just shy of ten years in one with good communication.

 

[Blkallover]

Last night before bed my wife and I were talking and I told her about one of my fantasy scenarios. It involves an mmf. She kind of shrugged it off and after we had a quickie. Excited, I came very hard. I thought all was ok. Then I heard her crying in the bathroom. When she came out she said she feels this is her fault. I explained that I loved her and have always gravitated toward an mmf and cuckold fantasies. I told her how I know I have a small penis snd don't last long when we get going hard. She said me cumming super fast barley happens and im great at foreplay. I mentioned how her dildo makes her squirm and she said but that's our thing. I promised her she's the only girl I fantasize about doing this with.

Basically she told me to never mention it again. I love her and do have a great sex life with her. However to completely shut the door on a fantasy I've had for about 11 years now is hard.

Advice ?

Know that you have a good woman and that you are enough for her and move on because you two have something special in its own way
Thanks for sharing your experience

 

[Justin Slayer]

@Heartandsoul Don't do it. You will lose her. She has to be in on it. Appreciate the fact that your wife communicated her feelings and wasn't upset at you. Its only fun when the cuck, husband and bull all enjoy it.

 

[Heartandsoul]

Wife has a friends wedding coming up, yesterday she went out looking for an outfit. I jokingly asked her if any guys hit on her while she was out "no but if it helps you get yourself off tonight, you go ahead and think it" was her response. I did an over exaggerated mouth open response and she laughed and and kissed me saying "oh you know I love you". Hmmmmm

 

[Odin]

Wife has a friends wedding coming up, yesterday she went out looking for an outfit. I jokingly asked her if any guys hit on her while she was out "no but if it helps you get yourself off tonight, you go ahead and think it" was her response. I did an over exaggerated mouth open response and she laughed and and kissed me saying "oh you know I love you". Hmmmmm

Sometimes people need time to adjust to a new idea before they like it. Other times they never will no matter how much time you give them. The trick is knowing which one of those this is.

 

[Beautyandheat]

Sometimes people need time to adjust to a new idea before they like it. Other times they never will no matter how much time you give them. The trick is knowing which one of those this is.

The easy part is that it sounds like she will let you know. If she is joking about it I’d breathe a big sigh of relief.

(My money is that she works herself to yes one of these days if you just let it sit there and brew. Don’t push and it may well come )

 

[Yeahsureyeah]

Update?

 

[one2submit]

Wife has a friends wedding coming up, yesterday she went out looking for an outfit. I jokingly asked her if any guys hit on her while she was out "no but if it helps you get yourself off tonight, you go ahead and think it" was her response. I did an over exaggerated mouth open response and she laughed and and kissed me saying "oh you know I love you". Hmmmmm

You planted a seed. It seems to have taken root if she is joking around about it. Let her continue to make comments and that opens the door to more conversations even if they’re more playful than serious. When she brings it up that is huge dude, but go at her pace. I was in the same situation years ago. I was told flat out no. Then told okay but no black guys. Then that happened to, but at her pace.

 

[cuckoldcouple69UK]

See I think you have a point. It might have just been to much to soon. I told her again I was sorry and she made a comment of "its ok, I was looking online at blindfolded and cuffs, we do need to kink it up a bit "so she does have the freaky side I know first hand. I just need to take it slow. Add in the bedroom stuff, build up her confidence and just get her more comfortable.
Honestly I don't care if she ever bangs a bbc. Would I want her to? Of course i would jerk so hard while she did it lol. But seriously I just want her to be open to the idea. Engage in pillow talk about other men maybe try a realistic looking dildo. Also dress with more confidence. Any time she does dress up, she gets a lot of looks. She just doesn't see it.

When you see guys checking her out , mention it to her , make her aware other guys are checking her out , once she is comfortable with it and realises guys find her attractive ask her what she thinks their thinking of doing to her etc.

 

[Kcucken]

Am I the only one who thinks the OP should embrace who he is and if the wife can't accept him for it, they need to split? I just got out of a relationship because my partner wanted me to closet a part of myself. I confided in her that I was bisexual and a cuckold and she said, that's fine as long as you never have to act on who you are. I tried to stay with her but in the end, I resented her. I feel being a cuck is a lifestyle not a fetish like spanking or rope play. Just my opinion.

 

[Misterhusband]

I have nearly the exact same problem as Heartandsoul, except that, my wife of over 12 years did mmf before meeting me, cheated on her previous boyfriend, husband, etc.... we got together, shd did a mmf with me and also a mfmf with me. Ive been waiting and trying for 11 years, still with no luck anymore. I guess im a bit of a stag rather than cuck per se, but none the less, she promises me she’ll get into a 2 dick kink, but never has. Even took her to caribbean on our 10 anniversary and she actually got *******. Another Problem is, men wont talk to her, because of likely me being a large bodybuilder ... and the ones that do, already know me, and arent into that type thing, and she wont flirt with our friends, for good reason... im stuck too, Heartandsoul, and the harder i tread water, the faster im drowning. There is nothing i wouldnt do for either my wife to at least occasionally sleep with other men, or, somehow rid myself of the desires altogether. Knowin my luck, she’d probably get into bbc at that point and divorce me. Uggg.

 

[Kcucken]

I have nearly the exact same problem as Heartandsoul, except that, my wife of over 12 years did mmf before meeting me, cheated on her previous boyfriend, husband, etc.... we got together, shd did a mmf with me and also a mfmf with me. Ive been waiting and trying for 11 years, still with no luck anymore. I guess im a bit of a stag rather than cuck per se, but none the less, she promises me she’ll get into a 2 dick kink, but never has. Even took her to caribbean on our 10 anniversary and she actually got *******. Another Problem is, men wont talk to her, because of likely me being a large bodybuilder ... and the ones that do, already know me, and arent into that type thing, and she wont flirt with our friends, for good reason... im stuck too, Heartandsoul, and the harder i tread water, the faster im drowning. There is nothing i wouldnt do for either my wife to at least occasionally sleep with other men, or, somehow rid myself of the desires altogether. Knowin my luck, she’d probably get into bbc at that point and divorce me. Uggg.

I have tried to deny being a cuck especially due to the fact my ex wife left me for her bull but everytime I stuff myself back in the closet, I become depressed and the desire only builds. At this point, I've accepted that this is who I am and what I like even if that means, I'm alone.

 

[StevieGirl]

Fantasies can be used to make life more exciting... even when not lived out in the moment. Your wife isn't into it. Let it go.

 

[ethnomasochist]

She likely thinks that you no longer desire her, so she's upset because of this misunderstanding.

If you can explain the psychology behind the fetish, she may think differently of it. Only a small minority of women at present desire a cuckold for a partner, however...so don't get your hopes up!

 

[Twohavingfun]

Last night before bed my wife and I were talking and I told her about one of my fantasy scenarios. It involves an mmf. She kind of shrugged it off and after we had a quickie. Excited, I came very hard. I thought all was ok. Then I heard her crying in the bathroom. When she came out she said she feels this is her fault. I explained that I loved her and have always gravitated toward an mmf and cuckold fantasies. I told her how I know I have a small penis snd don't last long when we get going hard. She said me cumming super fast barley happens and im great at foreplay. I mentioned how her dildo makes her squirm and she said but that's our thing. I promised her she's the only girl I fantasize about doing this with.

Basically she told me to never mention it again. I love her and do have a great sex life with her. However to completely shut the door on a fantasy I've had for about 11 years now is hard.

Advice ?

She sees you or wants to see you as a dominant man. Her first impression of your fantasy is that it is the opposite of you being dominant. Try to imagine your fantasy with you as a dominant man whose wife fucks other men at your request. Maybe that will have more appeal. I think its that your wife wants and needs you to be strong and not a cuck. Most wives do not truly want a cuck husband. Cuck life is a male fantasy, not female. Sorry cucks.

 

[Heartandsoul]

So as far as updates go: she has made a few little sly remarks but nothing to over the top.

However she finally admitted to me her biggest fear about a three way. Apparently one of her ex boyfriends had her convinced to try an m/f/f with her best friend. She didn't want to do it st first but she convinced her it could be fun. First they were going to use one of her friends. But that fell through and she thought maybe he would be done with it. But then he kept trying and eventually he just cheated on her. It had nothing to do with both of them having fun he was just being a bitch and trying to find ways to cheat on her. So that's a new hurdle I get to deal with in all of this.

Someone mentioned leaving my wife over this? Never crossed my mind and never will. Id rather be a wannabe in all of this and still have her.

I've explained to her that our love is completely different then her and the ex. She gave me a passionate kiss and told me she knows. Unfortunatley life got in the way of the conversation and we had to move on. If we get alone time tonight ill mention it and see what she says but were also dealing with a family issue that is draining the ******* out of me and when we do get alone time I just wanna get lost in love making with her and forget about it for awhile ya know?

Like I said thanks for replying guys. This is a REAL thread and im doing my best to document my journey. Also if your some lurker please don't message me "cAn I sEe PIcS oF Ur WiFe?" No shitstain you can't. Have a nice day y'all .

 

[cartooncuck]

Am I the only one who thinks the OP should embrace who he is and if the wife can't accept him for it, they need to split? I just got out of a relationship because my partner wanted me to closet a part of myself. I confided in her that I was bisexual and a cuckold and she said, that's fine as long as you never have to act on who you are. I tried to stay with her but in the end, I resented her. I feel being a cuck is a lifestyle not a fetish like spanking or rope play. Just my opinion.

Really? Split up over this? Dude has 11 years of marriage in a world where half of them fail. I think just dropping the fetish is much better.

 

[cartooncuck]

So as far as updates go: she has made a few little sly remarks but nothing to over the top.

However she finally admitted to me her biggest fear about a three way. Apparently one of her ex boyfriends had her convinced to try an m/f/f with her best friend. She didn't want to do it st first but she convinced her it could be fun. First they were going to use one of her friends. But that fell through and she thought maybe he would be done with it. But then he kept trying and eventually he just cheated on her. It had nothing to do with both of them having fun he was just being a bitch and trying to find ways to cheat on her. So that's a new hurdle I get to deal with in all of this.

Someone mentioned leaving my wife over this? Never crossed my mind and never will. Id rather be a wannabe in all of this and still have her.

I've explained to her that our love is completely different then her and the ex. She gave me a passionate kiss and told me she knows. Unfortunatley life got in the way of the conversation and we had to move on. If we get alone time tonight ill mention it and see what she says but were also dealing with a family issue that is draining the ******* out of me and when we do get alone time I just wanna get lost in love making with her and forget about it for awhile ya know?

Like I said thanks for replying guys. This is a REAL thread and im doing my best to document my journey. Also if your some lurker please don't message me "cAn I sEe PIcS oF Ur WiFe?" No shitstain you can't. Have a nice day y'all .

Ill be honest. I think its better of you stop coming to forums or sites like this.

Maybe you cant stop at the moment but maybe a bit later try it.

And just focus more on the monogamous sex between you two. Occasionally watch ir videos to satisfy cravings. I think thats more convenient than being in pages like this that will keep tempting you to think of it. Just my opinion.

If at any point she wants this, she can tell you, but till then its better tonot engage this fantasy much.

 

[Kcucken]

Ill be honest. I think its better of you stop coming to forums or sites like this.

Maybe you cant stop at the moment but maybe a bit later try it.

And just focus more on the monogamous sex between you two. Occasionally watch ir videos to satisfy cravings. I think thats more convenient than being in pages like this that will keep tempting you to think of it. Just my opinion.

If at any point she wants this, she can tell you, but till then its better tonot engage this fantasy much.

I don't disagree with you but I will say that I have tried something similar including going to a alternative lifestyle therapist and what I've learned is if you closet any part of yourself, you will not be happy. My recommendation is to open up to your spouse and try to incorporate this into your marriage without actually going through with it. Ie. Dirty talk, toys, D/s stuff. Perhaps you two can find a happy medium.

 

[Kcucken]

Really? Split up over this? Dude has 11 years of marriage in a world where half of them fail. I think just dropping the fetish is much better.

Yeah I understand. I was married 19 years to my high-school sweetheart and cuckolding was one of many reasons my marriage failed. To be honest though, I wasn't living my true self and was unhappy for a long time.