My wife and I have been looking since last year she's always had a fantasy for a bbc. We've talked been open about it and even found a few guys she likes. Yet everytime we plan something she always backs out last minute and I'm not sure why, but a week later she's all for it again.
Wife always backs out last minute
- Thread starter Djpaco574
- Start date
She's nervous and probably scared. Let her do it at her own pace
I haven't put any pressure she decides if we should do anything from posting pics to sending messages. I know she's nervous but everything has been her decision.
Can’t question it or ******* her into it. It must be a mutual agreement between you both. Both of you must want it. It’s ultimately her final decision. Don’t jump into it. Meet a guy for dinner and talk- even if that’s all it is. If she decides she wants to pursue things further, that’s up to her!
I was nervous....took me years to even warm up to stepping outside my marriage, so I was a flake at first. Ask her why she’s hesitant. This should all be about direct honesty. Honesty will help make everything more enjoyable for her and you. Let her know she’s in complete control and lay ground rules.....those helped me to do it. Also a nice cocktail helps me. Does she go on this site too? Reading the other stories could be helpful. Just sometimes listening to other people stories help make her feel better about it.
I've asked before and she said it's because she might like it and want more
And she will. Did you encourage her that you will support her no matter where this journey takes you and that you are in this together. I can tell you the sexual and erotic experience is amazing for everyone.not all experiences will be positive and my most awkward was my first encounter. Make sure she gets what she wants in a man too....height weight size girth etc....knowing what you want just makes it more enjoyable. I’m excited for you both as a couple. I know it’s been a positive experience for me, the only uncomfortable experience are the flakes who text and don’t show and then those who catfish you.
Let her go at her own pace. Also, assuming that you've already made plans with someone, you need to let her know that flaking on that person isn't cool. If she isn't 100 percent sure, she doesn't need to be doing this right now. People have their own lives and it's not fair to them because the other party doesn't know what they want.
you should be talking to this guy's wife. You've got the experience and feelings; might help her take that step, as you did
Endorse fully all that Desire206 has offered up to you. Realize you know it's up to her and are giving her the support you believe she needs. Perhaps you need to ask her open-ended questions that allow her to freely express the emotions she is feeling. Instead of "why did you change you mind," ask her "what situation or sequence of events do you believe will allow you to control your emotions or apprehensions." This allows her to get in touch with her feelings and, hopefully, express and share them with you.
Also need to try and read between the lines. Is it possible her telling you she "might like it and want more" is her way of trying to get you to share with her how you'll feel about that, and why, IF she does like it and want more. Her greatest fear could be losing her marriage through this. If that's so then she probably needs reassurance from you that if she can't ever go through with it you'll still want to be married to her. And, you need to prepare yourself for that possibility.
It took years for us to take the step to participating in the IR lifestyle and even more years until we felt we were capable of handling any of the foreseeable issues that can, and in some cases do, arise from playing in this arena. It's not for everyone; for some, it remains nothing but a wonderful fantasy. If that's all it ends up being for the two of you, let's hope your marriage can survive that just as easily as you believe it will if it does come to fruition.
Also need to try and read between the lines. Is it possible her telling you she "might like it and want more" is her way of trying to get you to share with her how you'll feel about that, and why, IF she does like it and want more. Her greatest fear could be losing her marriage through this. If that's so then she probably needs reassurance from you that if she can't ever go through with it you'll still want to be married to her. And, you need to prepare yourself for that possibility.
It took years for us to take the step to participating in the IR lifestyle and even more years until we felt we were capable of handling any of the foreseeable issues that can, and in some cases do, arise from playing in this arena. It's not for everyone; for some, it remains nothing but a wonderful fantasy. If that's all it ends up being for the two of you, let's hope your marriage can survive that just as easily as you believe it will if it does come to fruition.
Thanks that is all very helpful info
That actually sounds like a good idea
Worked for us. She's been to LOTS of BBC GBS since then
You may want to get her used to a black guy in a flirty but non-sexual way. Like have a ******* or dance or something. This way she can get comfortable with the guy and warm up to BBC. It plays into the relationship aspect of most women. The "I want to be used" but I don't want to be used kind of thing.
