The purpose of offering a spouse to a black male is to hopefully enhance HER sexual experiences. It seems from your post, you want this for YOURSELF ... its NOT about you, Blkdreams88, its about HER. If she's not into swinging, or black males, or whatever, find out what she IS into ... might be a fantasy to be with other ladies, who knows. You're trying to make YOUR DREAM come through at her expense, doesn't normally work that way.
Try finding out if she has any sexual fantasies, and make those come true, FIRST. Maybe she'll reciprocate.