I def do NOT hate myself for falling into this lifestyleWhy do you hate yourself for getting excited about your wife enjoys black men? If you is excited about it you should just enjoy it with your wife. It is like you try to deny yourself. It could lead you into destructive behaviour of your mind.
actually, quite the opposite
I now feel it is right
it feels so right
but
I also admit it was difficult for me in the beginning
my wife wanted to try BBC so badly
and it really freaked me out at first
but not anymore