What patterns have you recognized that a person is going to flake or be flaky?

[Xzibit]

After you set a date with a single or couple to meet or play, what are the patterns you have recognized they are going to be a flake?

Here are my top 3:

1. A day or two before you meet, they will text you they have a conflict ( like my sister is having surgery that day , I forgot my best friend is coming to town) with the time you’ll are supposed to meet but they still want to meet up. It gives them a good excuse if they decide to flake.

2. The communication becomes non-existent. They give you short or one word text. Reply to your message 3 days later. They will tell you ahead time the hardly ever check their messages.

3. When they constantly reassure you they are not flaky and that they hate flaky people lol .

 

[Kai09]

1. "I/we will be coming down next month for business" - dollar store baloney

2. Getting irritated when I ask if they wanna verify themselves. Not a single real person that has had to go through the headache of having time wasted by fakes throws up a fuss about that

3. "What would you do to her? Include many details" 99% of the times I've seen this question it's a dude single or not, that just gets off on other guys being horny for his wife/gf. The 1 time a dude asked me that and his gf was actually real he turns out to be High key gay and is just using the lifestyle to secretly get BBC for himself behind his gf's back. It's a damn shame cuz his gf is hot too

 

[JemmaNye&Herbi]

1. "I/we will be coming down next month for business" - dollar store baloney

That's an interesting one. My wife does occasionally intentionally book her flights to allow for a long enough layover in a town where there's someone she wants to see, and has me book a hotel for an afternoon. In the past, that's been with someone who knows us a little better though, so maybe less potential to be stood up.

That brings another question to mind though: how do you recommend letting somethone new know that's legit what she wants, without sounding like dollar store baloney?

2. Getting irritated when I ask if they wanna verify themselves. Not a single real person that has had to go through the headache of having time wasted by fakes throws up a fuss about that

For real. Anybody who's had time wasted by a flake should be more than understanding when someone they're talking to tries to avoid it. Verification goes both ways, so they too get to see that someone is real. My wife does need to feel comfortable before she'll share her face with anyone, but once it's clear there's mutual interest and it's time to meet in person to see if there's chemistry, it's a bit of a red flag if the other person doesn't want to make sure ahead of time that nobody's time is being wasted.

3. "What would you do to her? Include many details" 99% of the times I've seen this question it's a dude single or not, that just gets off on other guys being horny for his wife/gf.

I feel you on this one, too. But it does go both ways to some extent. For us, it's a red flag if a guy doesn't want to talk to me at all. I don't need to get in the way of play opportunities, but 99% of the time, I'm the person a man will be dealing with at first, and that's never been a problem for the men she actually plays with. I don't need or ask for a ton of pictures and erotic novel details, but a guy needs to be friendly with me and show me enough to at least pique her interest, or what are we even doing? As long as a profile or initial email from someone gives an indication that he's polite, has some experience in the lifestyle, is fit and understands our dynamic, that's all I need in order to ask my wife if she'd like to be introduced. A couple of pics definitely help, so she has some idea of whether or not she'll even be attracted to the man hitting us up, but they don't have to be face pics until she's involved in the conversation, and they don't need to be sex pics.

I'm not a picture collector, and if I was, that's what the rest of the internet is for. We try to be sensitive to the fact that men come across as many fake couples as we come across fake men, so we look for the right balance. All I'm trying to gauge is: "is this someone who is worth my wife's time to consider?" Once I have reason to believe the answer might be yes, I don't expect a lot of details until she's conversing as well. I bring her into the chat and the two of them can determine if the interest is mutual.

 

[Kai09]

That's an interesting one. My wife does occasionally intentionally book her flights to allow for a long enough layover in a town where there's someone she wants to see, and has me book a hotel for an afternoon. In the past, that's been with someone who knows us a little better though, so maybe less potential to be stood up.

That brings another question to mind though: how do you recommend letting somethone new know that's legit what she wants, without sounding like dollar store baloney?

I don't know how much chemistry there needs to be for you two but I would wait closer to the actual trip to start talking to someone new, personally a week is my sweet spot. The sooner the better with one month in advance being the absolute max i'd entertain. The further away the more it just screams baloney, like people that post 3 months in advance (what do you even talk about for 3 months?) I'm in my early 20's so there's not a whole lot of conversational common ground with older couples lol.
A good workaround is to simply prove you're real, a reservation proof would be nice too.


As for the last point I think there's a tiny misunderstanding. I don't have any problems talking to the guy at all, in fact there are times where I don't even talk to the chick personally until we meet up. The only issue is like you mentioned :
"I don't need or ask for a ton of pictures and erotic novel details"
For the guys that do ask for that it's an automatic
"Mind proving you're real?" From me.

 

[JemmaNye&Herbi]

I don't know how much chemistry there needs to be for you two but I would wait closer to the actual trip to start talking to someone new, personally a week is my sweet spot.

When we were first getting started, my wife needed a lot more talking up than she does now. Luckily, she met a couple of older, very experienced bulls, who weren't looking to rush anything and genuinely enjoyed talking to us about what we fantasized about. One guy in particular lived pretty far from us, but it's a city she can easily go through for a connecting flight to the international places she travels for work. He gave her a lot of confidence chatting with her, and she was excited to meet him for literally three months leading up to when it finally happened.

These days, I think she'd agree with you. Now that she's been doing this for real for quite a few years, she doesn't need to be guided through a long build up period to psyche herself up. In fact, it can be hard for a guy to talk about what he wants to do with her in a way that keeps her turned on. Especially if the message arrives when she's busy working, for example. Her attitude is a little more like, "I don't have much time for this. Show me what you look like, tell me a bit about what drew you to us and what you're looking for, demonstrate that you're intelligent, polite, interesting, and respectful of my time, and then let's meet in person before this gets boring, to see if there is chemistry and mutual interest in moving forward. A week or less is fine before trying to schedule a meetup, although it's pretty common for it to take a couple weeks for schedules to line up and get something on the calendar.

As for the last point I think there's a tiny misunderstanding. I don't have any problems talking to the guy at all, in fact there are times where I don't even talk to the chick personally until we meet up.

Oh, no misunderstanding. I didn't mean to imply you weren't willing to talk to/verify with a husband. I just meant there are lots of guys like that, and explaining our own perspective, which is that ALL parties involved should be willing to prove they are what/who they say they are, if they're expecting someone else to set time aside to meet up. Nobody likes to be misled, catfished, ghosted, or otherwise have their time wasted. Efforts to safeguard against that help everyone, and should never be seen as too tall an order.

The only issue is like you mentioned :
"I don't need or ask for a ton of pictures and erotic novel details"
For the guys that do ask for that it's an automatic
"Mind proving you're real?" From me.

I don't blame you. Sometimes I get a dude sending me a barrage of dick pics, sometimes clearly showing the face of some woman sucking it (red flag, especially if he isn't even sharing his own face) and graphic descriptions of how he wants to treat my wife, and it's like, "cool, I guess, but I'm not the one you need to convince. And honestly, if you want to convince her, you might want to tone it down a bit by the time I introduce her. Horny guys aren't a rarity for her. Be (and ACT LIKE) a real person, please."

 

[Freebird1]

Stop responding to txt or messages here after several back and forth ,

 

[Travis454]

After you set a date with a single or couple to meet or play, what are the patterns you have recognized they are going to be a flake?

Here are my top 3:

1. A day or two before you meet, they will text you they have a conflict ( like my sister is having surgery that day , I forgot my best friend is coming to town) with the time you’ll are supposed to meet but they still want to meet up. It gives them a good excuse if they decide to flake.

2. The communication becomes non-existent. They give you short or one word text. Reply to your message 3 days later. They will tell you ahead time the hardly ever check their messages.

3. When they constantly reassure you they are not flaky and that they hate flaky people lol .

I completely understand how frustrating that can be. I think a lot of people, most probably, need to work up a lot of courage to meet up for the first hookup outside of the marriage. I think thay kinda comes with the territory. If you're not into being a woman's first black man or first since marriage then you can find them, they'll probably be more aggressive. Look at it from my, the husband's, standpoint though. In our case she's been on and off talking to different men over the last 3 or 4 years. Most very aggressive lets fuck right now type and it puts her off on the whole thing. Snowbunnies like actual bunnies are timid prey. The guy that finally got my wife to meet up with him, although they didn't have sex, is able to say his bbc was the first to be held by her. On top of that its been non stop talk about this dudes dick after getting cold feet. Another thing you have to consider is there's a good 10-14 days every month when a woman is way hornier than the rest of the month. My wife will be ready in those days but by the time we actually have plans to meet shes out of that window and her guard is back up. Believe me when I say its just as frustrating for me as it is you. I feel bad about a guy making plans to just cancel the day before or the day of. FYI we've actually only made plans to meet 1 guy 3 times and actually met on the third time. She grinded on him at the club, basically looked like they were fucking, he was able to grab her ass and boobs later when she was comfortable with it. she let him come back to the hotel, grinded on him some more (very awkward for her with cell phone music) let him pull his bbc out and stroked on it for a few minutes while telling him he's twice my size. If you're not willing to put in that kind of effort and patience then why go for a first time wife? I think there's a few that just dive right into the lifestyle but most of the stories are unrealistic. Also the guy we met with is from this site and I really think she will not only fuxk him soon but she gets off on her pussy belonging to him and him Nutting in her...

 

[Stevo091]

After you set a date with a single or couple to meet or play, what are the patterns you have recognized they are going to be a flake?

Here are my top 3:

1. A day or two before you meet, they will text you they have a conflict ( like my sister is having surgery that day , I forgot my best friend is coming to town) with the time you’ll are supposed to meet but they still want to meet up. It gives them a good excuse if they decide to flake.

2. The communication becomes non-existent. They give you short or one word text. Reply to your message 3 days later. They will tell you ahead time the hardly ever check their messages.

3. When they constantly reassure you they are not flaky and that they hate flaky people lol .

Lol bro thats on point had a lot of them lately

 

[Stevo091]

1. "I/we will be coming down next month for business" - dollar store baloney

2. Getting irritated when I ask if they wanna verify themselves. Not a single real person that has had to go through the headache of having time wasted by fakes throws up a fuss about that

3. "What would you do to her? Include many details" 99% of the times I've seen this question it's a dude single or not, that just gets off on other guys being horny for his wife/gf. The 1 time a dude asked me that and his gf was actually real he turns out to be High key gay and is just using the lifestyle to secretly get BBC for himself behind his gf's back. It's a damn shame cuz his gf is hot too

Lol ******* it seems like this is a trend with these gay white guys

 

[elp]

What about when the flake is the guy? We ran into this over the weekend, Sunday afternoon, playing at a local swingers motel, wife and I hooked up with this young guy. He had randomly rubbed her leg an hour earlier while in the first hot tub and she did nothing to stop him. In the second hot tub, he and I chatted before she even got in, he really wanted to play with her, all I said was if she wanted fuck we’d go back to our room, and he had to use a condom, he agreed. After she got in, we played in the hot tub with him for probably 40 minutes, had quite a crowd, had her ready to go, she flat out said she wanted to fuck him, we all said let’s go back to our room, it would be more comfortable. She grabbed her towel and headed for the room, he said he wanted to rinse off, I told him which room, he said he’d be there shortly. Never showed, after 45 minutes we went back to the pool, a couple and two other guys who’d been watching the initial play, all said they saw him grab his stuff and head out the door, assuming he was heading to our room. One of the other guys offered to go back to the room, but my wife had lost interest. It would have been her first time with another guy.

 

[JohnEE]

After you set a date with a single or couple to meet or play, what are the patterns you have recognized they are going to be a flake?

Here are my top 3:

1. A day or two before you meet, they will text you they have a conflict ( like my sister is having surgery that day , I forgot my best friend is coming to town) with the time you’ll are supposed to meet but they still want to meet up. It gives them a good excuse if they decide to flake.

2. The communication becomes non-existent. They give you short or one word text. Reply to your message 3 days later. They will tell you ahead time the hardly ever check their messages.

3. When they constantly reassure you they are not flaky and that they hate flaky people lol .

Can only meet at an odd time ... (marrried)

 

[SanDiegoBlack]

A woman, or couple who are on two completely different pages when it come to their likes and dislikes. That is why I will almost always want to meet and talk with the couple first (after exchanging facial pictures via email). No matter how hot she may be, the first meeting is always an ice breaker. We need to openly discuss our compatibilities, potential to grow a friendship, etc. Even though the next meeting may be months later, we will remain in contact and keep the embers warm. Much more reliable to do this than to plan to meet someone you don't really know for the sole purpose of sliding between the sheets. Those are the people whose name(s) I cannot remember even six months later. Yeah, it was fun, but it wasn't deep.

 

[BBC4pussy]

After you set a date with a single or couple to meet or play, what are the patterns you have recognized they are going to be a flake?

Here are my top 3:

1. A day or two before you meet, they will text you they have a conflict ( like my sister is having surgery that day , I forgot my best friend is coming to town) with the time you’ll are supposed to meet but they still want to meet up. It gives them a good excuse if they decide to flake.

2. The communication becomes non-existent. They give you short or one word text. Reply to your message 3 days later. They will tell you ahead time the hardly ever check their messages.

3. When they constantly reassure you they are not flaky and that they hate flaky people lol .

For me its the hubby trying to hard. I don't know why but if the hubby is doing all the communication in my opinion its a sure sign of a faker. Also if the female doesn't contact me first i tend not to put much stock in meeting.

 

[JemmaNye&Herbi]

For me its the hubby trying to hard. I don't know why but if the hubby is doing all the communication in my opinion its a sure sign of a faker. Also if the female doesn't contact me first i tend not to put much stock in meeting.

That's a bummer. Dudes like that fuck things up for everyone. My wife doesn't come to this site very often (or anywhere else we have a profile, for that matter). She delegates initial interaction with potential new friends to me. That said, she's brought into the conversation long before we'd ever expect someone to try to meet up with us/her in person, so maybe it's not the same red flag you're talking about? Either way, single men should be prepared to start conversations with me, and have her introduced if it seems like there might be a good fit.

 

[BBC4pussy]

That's a bummer. Dudes like that fuck things up for everyone. My wife doesn't come to this site very often (or anywhere else we have a profile, for that matter). She delegates initial interaction with potential new friends to me. That said, she's brought into the conversation long before we'd ever expect someone to try to meet up with us/her in person, so maybe it's not the same red flag you're talking about? Either way, single men should be prepared to start conversations with me, and have her introduced if it seems like there might be a good fit.

That's fine if that works for you. But in all honesty if you contacted me and i couldn't speak to wife within 5 minutes of contact i am just gonna assume you are fake. To me a male doing all the talking for his wife is akin to erotic written porn. Like when a hubby contacts me and wants to know in detail what i will do with his wife. What he wants is jacking off material.

 

[JemmaNye&Herbi]

That's fine if that works for you. But in all honesty if you contacted me and i couldn't speak to wife within 5 minutes of contact i am just gonna assume you are fake. To me a male doing all the talking for his wife is akin to erotic written porn. Like when a hubby contacts me and wants to know in detail what i will do with his wife. What he wants is jacking off material.

I don't usually have to reach out. We get more contacts than we have time to field. But when there is someone I know she'll want to talk to, who didn't hit us up first, I show her the profile ahead of any contact. If she's into him, I'll send an initial note to see if there's mutual interest, make the introduction, and let her take it from there. If that much interaction with me is enough to deter someone, my thoughts are that they'd probably prefer single women to married ones, will probably be equally put off by her family obligations and commitments as a wife and mom, won't enjoy getting to know us as a couple, etc. In those cases, it's probably fine if they assume I'm fake and move along. Being able to interact in a friendly manner with her cuck is definitely something my wife looks for.

 

[KallieRae]

Too much small talk, too many pic requests, too much “what they’re gonna do to me” blah blah blah… actions not words…