You should. It is your life and health. Entering a scenario where you give control over you to a stranger without protection of any sort or form can be harmful!
Sorry, not sure what you mean by this.
Exactly what i was saying!
To give a short overview about my background lifestyle-wise...
In a former relationship of mine we were swinging "lightly". First, we had attended a local club but that ultimately lead us to the BDSM lifestyle due to some of the couples we`d met there. That lifestyle had a relatively vivid local community back then and probably still has, but i`m not in there anymore.
There have also been BDSM meetings in public places (restaurants, bars, cafes, ...) that were intended for discussion of lifestyle specific topics and issues without the purpose of actual play. They were significant for us, because as lifestyle newbies back then we had the chance to listen to viewpoints and experiences from people that some had been in the lifestyle for decades already, which helped us better figure out our own likes and dislikes and how to play in order to gain the best benefits for ourselves. Also from other people`s past mistakes they had communicated with us we have learned a lot!
My conclusion in regard to the above paragraph
from my experience is that the most crucial aspects of D/s play
to make it a good experience are
respect and trust between the "Dom" and the "sub" involved, which can typically only be achieved if there is some
sort of relationship between the two, and is typically impossible with complete strangers. For the type of relationship that suits D/s demands, of course, it can as well be a FWB or "fuck buddy" relationship instead of a marriage.
However, you will find that this sort of arrangement and play can be psychically addictive and naturally creates a strong bond between the people involved.
The most important quality for a "Dom" is not to have "a strong hand" but the
ability to lead! And for a "sub" it is important to give some sort of feedback. Also, both roles are willingly chosen by each of the participants in D/s play, because those roles serve their own needs best, and can be quit at any point. This i say, because i find a lot of misconception and confusion from lifestyle-newbies and fantasizers, which often reminds me of myself and how i thought of BDSM about 15 years ago.
If one is in a loving relationship that is a good one, they won`t say it`s overrated.
Not on your radar... well, of course, not everyone is seeking for the same thing. Also this depends on a person`s current life situation and goals and may change over time.
And of course there are different relationship models too. On a site like this (
B2w) that involves lots of different relationship types like swinging couples, half-open relationships, polyamory, and singles as well, it would be redicolous to say that a relationship necessarily needs to be monogamous.
The question is, which one is the right one for a particular person and most beneficial for their needs.
Abbreviation of
domestic discipline - a variety of play where control is shifted toward a "Dom" typically within the boundary of a marital home or household, not restricted to sexuality only. Why i brought it up is that you were "fantasizing" about a scenario where you would be controlled in a manner even non-sexually.
Regards, good luck, and - most importantly - enjoy and be healthy!
