One of the seemingly inexplicable paradoxes of the IR lifestyle is the existence of many white, underlyingly racist women having sex with black men. Progressive media has always encouraged this kind of sex, considered as the way to achieve racial armony. If racism is based on prejudice and derogatory stereotypes that keep individuals segregated, and sex is the most intimate act between individuals, hence interracial sex will destroy racism. However, factual evidence shows that not only in the increasingly multicultural societies racial indetities are not diluting, but also many white women are becoming more conservative, even if they are into an interracial marriage and have mixed children.
“What is wrong with white women?” Moira Donegan asked at the Guardian after November’s midterm elections. “Why do half of them so consistently vote for Republicans, even as the Republican party morphs into a monstrously ugly organization that is increasingly indistinguishable from a hate group?”
Identity politics are based on the idea that some social groups (women, racial minorities) are more vulnerable to forms of oppression by virtue of their identity, and they should struggle all together to gain empowerment and achieve a more equal society. "Progressives sometimes expect white women, as a group, to support the interests of people of color of all genders — after all, women know what discrimination feels like." The identity politics have replaced the Marxist concept of class struggle, but they haven’t worked at it was expected. From the perspective of gender policies and intersectionality, this fact may be hard to understand, since leftist only consider the relations between identities from the dialectics of the oppressor and the oppressed. However, human relationships are far more complex than this simple dichotomy.
"How often do we see white women showing support for black penis but not black lives?" Kyla Jenee Lacey wonders. "When people say they can’t be racist because they have a black baby, I laugh, as if the insertion of black penis into white vagina or white penis into black vagina is some magical act that wipes you clean of all your racism."
When I have self-evaluated about this issue after two years of almost exclusive sex with black men, I have come to the conclusion that my racial consciousness as a white woman had actually increased.
I grew up in a rural region of an almost white country and maybe I met my first black person when I was around 10 years old. Identity is based on the existence of a 'us' and a 'them'. Hence, it is built on antagonism and, therefore, in those circumstances being white was not an identity. It was something neutral. It was ‘normal’.
But I was attracted to the otherness. Blacks have always been some kind of enigma and my first IR experience blew my mind. My black Dom always remarked the racial difference with his comments: 'come here, white slut' or 'suck my black dick'. The adjetives 'white' and 'black' were enough to change the entire formulation of the sexual intercourse: we were not a man and women having sex, I was a white woman on her knees sucking a black man's cock. I was submitting on behalf of my race.
I was hooked to this new form of sex. Masculinity and femininity, blackness and whiteness, dominance and submission; identities confronting, creating a scenario based on inequality and hierarchies. With the time, I talked with my Dom, I began to understand what means being a black person in a white society. These conversations made me more racially sensitive. However, this kind of sex reinforced my racial consciousness.
In sexual terms, I'm a bratty submissive. I behave in the limit of disobedience without actually crossing the line for a spanking. Being always in the edge increased sexual tension and provided my former Dom excuses for his 'punishments'. He had strong political views about race, we often disagreed. Many times he spanked me 'to teach me black respect' and I had to apology through oral sex. I have never felt more white than worshiping a black phallus, and with the time I projected this racial consciousness on my political ideas. Whenever a conflict arises between two racial identities, I defend the views and interests of 'my' group if it does not imply a moral transgression.
But nobody has just one identity. Intersectionality is an analytic framework created by the African American feminist Kimberlé Crenshaw, who stated that group identitties do not exist separately from each other but are interwoven together. The experience of being a black woman cannot be understood in terms of being black and of being a woman considered independently. Crenshaw's thesis are consistent when the oppressor / oppressed dichotomy always presents the same sense, in other words, when you are always the opressor or the oppressed.
The cuckold-hotwife-bull triangle implies the existence of an underlying hierarchy related to sexual and racial identities, and patriarchal values about wife's modesty and fidelity. The Bull is clearly at the top playing a dominant role, the cuckold husband is at the bottom, and the hotwife may play as a switch, being dominant with the hubby and submissive with her Bull. This is the reason why for the Bull this situation can be empowering since it subverts the structural domination of the white patriarchy, and destroys one of the barriers erected to keep compartmentalized the two racial groups: the sexual access of the black man to the white womb.
Racism has much to do in these synergies. Stereotypes created to subdue can be a double-edged sword. Black men are stereotypically perceived as sexually agressive and hypermasculine, which may be a disadvantage in social interactions, but also may be advantageous in the sexual sphere. They make a white man acknowledge black males as Alphas and see the cuckold role as his natural place, something that frees his wife from the subordinate position that is traditionally attributed to her.
During the brief period I was a ‘hotwife’ before my divorce, I developed an unusual sadistic behavior with my husband. In my sex with my black lover, I expressed my white identity, in my sex with my white husband, my feminine identity prevailed. In some way, I never felt more feminist and liberated as a woman that when I talked to him about my sex with my black Dom. The paradox was that this ‘liberation’ came from my submission to a black man.
When I analyzed the relationship with my black Dom through the prisms of intersectionality, I discovered I was also playing a switch role with him. All groups possess varying amounts of penalty and privilege in one historically created system. White women are penalized by their gender but privileged by their race. Depending on the context, an individual may be an oppressor, a member of an oppressed group, or simultaneously oppressor and oppressed.
With my black lovers I was developing a behavior traditionally associated with the male gender: I used my white privilege to objectify them, I fetishized their penises, and my interest in them were only sexual. They did the same with me using their male privilege. I also discovered that the attraction that I awakened in some of my young, black lovers wasn't based only on my individual self, but in my group identity (race, age, social class). Something verbalized when they called me ‘milf’, ‘white slut’, 'cheating wife', or even ‘Christian whore’ in case of Muslims.
This mutual fetishization based on identities and privileges is full of paradoxes. Identity is ambiguous because it is in a constant state of negotiation and interpretation: ever changing, always contested, sometimes contradictory, and continuously repositioned by the specificities of place, time, and the identities of “the other”. As any person has different identities based on sex, race, ethnicity, age or social class, depending on which one stands out and how the conflict is formulated, it may acquire one meaning or another. By claiming a particular identity, other self-identifications are overshadowed or suppressed.
Identity is not an essence, but a positioning. Most of Queen of Spades remain loyal to their race, because their white identity is stronger than their female identity and don't see white men as their enemies. Maybe the key question is if 'racial consciousness' and ‘racially unempathetic’ are synonymous with racist. But there is something out of question. If attraction is based on feelings, sex may be the most intimate act between individuals; but if attraction is based on physical and personality attributes linked to identities, “just because you fuck black people doesn’t mean you fuck with black people”.
“What is wrong with white women?” Moira Donegan asked at the Guardian after November’s midterm elections. “Why do half of them so consistently vote for Republicans, even as the Republican party morphs into a monstrously ugly organization that is increasingly indistinguishable from a hate group?”
Identity politics are based on the idea that some social groups (women, racial minorities) are more vulnerable to forms of oppression by virtue of their identity, and they should struggle all together to gain empowerment and achieve a more equal society. "Progressives sometimes expect white women, as a group, to support the interests of people of color of all genders — after all, women know what discrimination feels like." The identity politics have replaced the Marxist concept of class struggle, but they haven’t worked at it was expected. From the perspective of gender policies and intersectionality, this fact may be hard to understand, since leftist only consider the relations between identities from the dialectics of the oppressor and the oppressed. However, human relationships are far more complex than this simple dichotomy.
"How often do we see white women showing support for black penis but not black lives?" Kyla Jenee Lacey wonders. "When people say they can’t be racist because they have a black baby, I laugh, as if the insertion of black penis into white vagina or white penis into black vagina is some magical act that wipes you clean of all your racism."
When I have self-evaluated about this issue after two years of almost exclusive sex with black men, I have come to the conclusion that my racial consciousness as a white woman had actually increased.
I grew up in a rural region of an almost white country and maybe I met my first black person when I was around 10 years old. Identity is based on the existence of a 'us' and a 'them'. Hence, it is built on antagonism and, therefore, in those circumstances being white was not an identity. It was something neutral. It was ‘normal’.
But I was attracted to the otherness. Blacks have always been some kind of enigma and my first IR experience blew my mind. My black Dom always remarked the racial difference with his comments: 'come here, white slut' or 'suck my black dick'. The adjetives 'white' and 'black' were enough to change the entire formulation of the sexual intercourse: we were not a man and women having sex, I was a white woman on her knees sucking a black man's cock. I was submitting on behalf of my race.
I was hooked to this new form of sex. Masculinity and femininity, blackness and whiteness, dominance and submission; identities confronting, creating a scenario based on inequality and hierarchies. With the time, I talked with my Dom, I began to understand what means being a black person in a white society. These conversations made me more racially sensitive. However, this kind of sex reinforced my racial consciousness.
In sexual terms, I'm a bratty submissive. I behave in the limit of disobedience without actually crossing the line for a spanking. Being always in the edge increased sexual tension and provided my former Dom excuses for his 'punishments'. He had strong political views about race, we often disagreed. Many times he spanked me 'to teach me black respect' and I had to apology through oral sex. I have never felt more white than worshiping a black phallus, and with the time I projected this racial consciousness on my political ideas. Whenever a conflict arises between two racial identities, I defend the views and interests of 'my' group if it does not imply a moral transgression.
But nobody has just one identity. Intersectionality is an analytic framework created by the African American feminist Kimberlé Crenshaw, who stated that group identitties do not exist separately from each other but are interwoven together. The experience of being a black woman cannot be understood in terms of being black and of being a woman considered independently. Crenshaw's thesis are consistent when the oppressor / oppressed dichotomy always presents the same sense, in other words, when you are always the opressor or the oppressed.
The cuckold-hotwife-bull triangle implies the existence of an underlying hierarchy related to sexual and racial identities, and patriarchal values about wife's modesty and fidelity. The Bull is clearly at the top playing a dominant role, the cuckold husband is at the bottom, and the hotwife may play as a switch, being dominant with the hubby and submissive with her Bull. This is the reason why for the Bull this situation can be empowering since it subverts the structural domination of the white patriarchy, and destroys one of the barriers erected to keep compartmentalized the two racial groups: the sexual access of the black man to the white womb.
Racism has much to do in these synergies. Stereotypes created to subdue can be a double-edged sword. Black men are stereotypically perceived as sexually agressive and hypermasculine, which may be a disadvantage in social interactions, but also may be advantageous in the sexual sphere. They make a white man acknowledge black males as Alphas and see the cuckold role as his natural place, something that frees his wife from the subordinate position that is traditionally attributed to her.
During the brief period I was a ‘hotwife’ before my divorce, I developed an unusual sadistic behavior with my husband. In my sex with my black lover, I expressed my white identity, in my sex with my white husband, my feminine identity prevailed. In some way, I never felt more feminist and liberated as a woman that when I talked to him about my sex with my black Dom. The paradox was that this ‘liberation’ came from my submission to a black man.
When I analyzed the relationship with my black Dom through the prisms of intersectionality, I discovered I was also playing a switch role with him. All groups possess varying amounts of penalty and privilege in one historically created system. White women are penalized by their gender but privileged by their race. Depending on the context, an individual may be an oppressor, a member of an oppressed group, or simultaneously oppressor and oppressed.
With my black lovers I was developing a behavior traditionally associated with the male gender: I used my white privilege to objectify them, I fetishized their penises, and my interest in them were only sexual. They did the same with me using their male privilege. I also discovered that the attraction that I awakened in some of my young, black lovers wasn't based only on my individual self, but in my group identity (race, age, social class). Something verbalized when they called me ‘milf’, ‘white slut’, 'cheating wife', or even ‘Christian whore’ in case of Muslims.
This mutual fetishization based on identities and privileges is full of paradoxes. Identity is ambiguous because it is in a constant state of negotiation and interpretation: ever changing, always contested, sometimes contradictory, and continuously repositioned by the specificities of place, time, and the identities of “the other”. As any person has different identities based on sex, race, ethnicity, age or social class, depending on which one stands out and how the conflict is formulated, it may acquire one meaning or another. By claiming a particular identity, other self-identifications are overshadowed or suppressed.
Identity is not an essence, but a positioning. Most of Queen of Spades remain loyal to their race, because their white identity is stronger than their female identity and don't see white men as their enemies. Maybe the key question is if 'racial consciousness' and ‘racially unempathetic’ are synonymous with racist. But there is something out of question. If attraction is based on feelings, sex may be the most intimate act between individuals; but if attraction is based on physical and personality attributes linked to identities, “just because you fuck black people doesn’t mean you fuck with black people”.
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