Really want to convince wife to try

A

Akguy15

Male
From
CA, US
Hey everyone,

This is has always been a fetish of mine to watch my beautiful wife get fucked by a powerful black bull. Me being locked in chastity while watching her get fucked is my ultimate fantasy. The question I have is how do I get this conversation going with her? She was a virgin before our wedding and is still very inexperienced in the fetish area. We have a great sex life and I’m not exactly huge (6.5 hard) so I want her to try something bigger. Any tips would be great...

Ryan, Chattanooga
 
It’s so hard navigating this because of inexperience. I’m the only guy she has ever been with. Are you guys into chastity?
 
LockedAndLady said:
She won’t. It’s all about your approach. It can’t be about you. It has to be about her and you two as a couple. How you both will enjoy it.
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It is about both wife and husband. If you try to give a picture that it's all about her alone, she probably won't understand it. The first question that will come to her mind once the initial shock has waned is why would you, the husband, want this. It is a different form of asking what is in for you, what is your (the husband's) gain/benefit from such a lifestyle. If you can't manage to properly explain why you want it for yourself, the wife will not be convinced. Instead she will suspect ulterior motives that you are trying to hide from her. - Not a good start.

The foundations of a couple's open lifestyle of any form are commitment, open communication and trust! If one partner feels the other one is not completely open and honest with her/him about his/her feelings/emotions but trying to hide something, the other partner will not be seen as trustworthy, and the commitment (strength of the relationship / partners' mutual closeness) will decline instead of grow. Better not start an open lifestyle from that base.
 
jibstar said:
feel free to have a look at this guide, you might pick up a few tips: https://www.blacktowhite.net/threads/how-to-get-your-wife-gf-blacked-a-guide.1330/
Click to expand...
Hehe. That guide is nice for a fantasy or a laugh. But not really applicable in real life. It focuses too much on superficial "techniques" but does not address or further a couple's relationship health. How can you become or stay strong as a couple with everything that goes along with that (which is an important prerequisite for starting this type of a lifestyle)? Just "buying her flowers" and submitting to her needs will not do the trick. ;)
 
The qu
mywayintermsofsex said:
Hehe. That guide is nice for a fantasy or a laugh. But not really applicable in real life. It focuses too much on superficial "techniques" but does not address or further a couple's relationship health. How can you become or stay strong as a couple with everything that goes along with that (which is an important prerequisite for starting this type of a lifestyle)? Just "buying her flowers" and submitting to her needs will not do the trick. ;)
Click to expand...
The question was not about "relationship health" it was about how to get the conversation started about getting into this lifestyle. If he has relationship issues he should talk to a consuellor for that.
 
Ultimately I think you need to think heavily in regards to your own sexuality. You want this as a fantasy and there is nothing wrong with that. TALK TO HER. I’m certain she will be accepting of your fantasy.

After the fantasy is fulfilled. THEN you both can decide if it’s something you both want. If you go about this one sided, she will absolutely be with a black man but you won’t be married long.
 
You need to make her feel absolutely secure, women who cuckold their men either do not care or are secure in the knowledge that the husband will accept whatever she does. Forget about chastity and be prepared for things you did not expect because once you accept her fucking other men you become submissive even if it is never acted upon.
 
VictorCharlie said:
For starters accept and understand that non-monogamy of any kind is simply not for everyone. No matter what you do, she may just not want this. That being said, and considering the description you gave, I wouldn't suggest leading out with being in chastity while watching her and another man. Start with introducing toys, porn, role playing etc. Make your sex life the best it's ever been and get her comfortable discussing fantasies and turn ons. Then talk about how sexy she is and the idea of a threesome or watching her with someone else really turns you on. If you lead out the gate with chastity, cream pies, and being owned by BBC it likely wont go well. Best of luck.
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Truth
 
And going into it already thinking about dick size is crazy, you're 6.5. You're not gonna find that every black man is hung. If this is what you want then you need to be on the same page at every step and that means whoever you find to join you.
 
I'd like my wife to have some experience, it is discussed and when she is in the right mood she gets hot and horny..she has spoken to and messaged other guys , even sent pics but seems reluctant to take it to the next step, a meeting or night out
 
VictorCharlie said:
For starters accept and understand that non-monogamy of any kind is simply not for everyone. No matter what you do, she may just not want this. That being said, and considering the description you gave, I wouldn't suggest leading out with being in chastity while watching her and another man. Start with introducing toys, porn, role playing etc. Make your sex life the best it's ever been and get her comfortable discussing fantasies and turn ons. Then talk about how sexy she is and the idea of a threesome or watching her with someone else really turns you on. If you lead out the gate with chastity, cream pies, and being owned by BBC it likely wont go well. Best of luck.
Click to expand...

thank you so much for the great advice.
 
LockedAndLady said:
So it will take time... my husband asked me three years ago. I knew nothing of this lifestyle... I was hesitant at first. I didn’t know this was something he wanted, let alone anything about it to decide if I wanted it. I was scared he wouldn’t really want it or it would hurt our marriage. But after years of talking about it and role playing both in and out of the bedroom.... I finally started in August. Even then, it wasn’t BBC at first. Now I’m hooked and I don’t know why I took so long but you need to be patient and open with her. Communication, reassurance, and consistency is key. She needs to know this won’t impact you guys in a negative way. My husband has made it all about me and my pleasure which has made the leap so much easier and enjoyable....

Good luck!
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jibstar said:
feel free to have a look at this guide, you might pick up a few tips: https://www.blacktowhite.net/threads/how-to-get-your-wife-gf-blacked-a-guide.1330/
Click to expand...
This is indeed the basis of a healthy understanding about what you want and what you really want her to realise that she wants. I would highlight that consistency is paramount. I couldn't persuade my wife to go beyond dancing in the club with black men. She did enjoy it and flirted with the guys. But she was still reluctant. Now, you have to be consistent with yourself as well. Those nights, we would go back home after that and had crazy sex. That was my mistake. I had to adjust my attitude. So, after clubbing we got back home and instead of having sex, I went straight to sleep. After a couple of times and extended sexual abstinence, she was ready to take off with the guy she had been dancing almost every Friday. I told them I was tired and left them cuddling in the bar. Last friday, they used our bed. She now really likes it and me obviously too.
 
I'm in the same boat. My wife is very pretty with great legs and a C cup but has only slept with me. I've been encouraging her for several months to play with a BBC or whomever she wants. I've given her a totalhall pass.
 
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