Just trying to understand what are the few things that can help a woman overcome those normal initial fears and hesitations. Wife is intrigued, but still sense fear and hesitation.
Question for the ladies. What were the few things that finally made you comfortable with it all? (wife still has some hesitation)
- Thread starter saintlouisnew
- Start date
First she has to understand it is just sex and that you are not trying to change your marriage. Mine took a long time to move on this too but once she did and got into the mindset they are basically a human sex toy everything changed. We are not a cuckold could but a Hotwife couple.
Try playing around with toys (strap-on BBC) and talk about fantasies to experience how the scene would make her feel.
My hesitation was that socially its not acceptable. When I finally said screw it, I want this. It changed.
Thank you very much for your reply. Yes, I think there is a lot of the social burden. I think neither of us believe on the whole “humiliation stuff”, there is no play here for dominance and submission. It’s simply that I would like to have her sexual needs taken care of. she grew up quite Catholic conservatively so it’s understandable that this is quite new and scary in some respects. I am just finding difficult to understand. What is the line between that it’s OK to enjoy sex.. but it doesn’t feel like I’m pushing her.
Thank you very much for the kind reply. Yes, I think we are there. I read around here all that stuff about the submission domination stuff like that and that’s really nothing like us. For me, it’s not how about surrendering anything, but rather to just to allow her to enjoy her sexuality freely. I have to say, I never thought we would ever consider something like this, but here we are..
What you are seeking is "Compersion" google it. There is nothing better than seeing your partner enjoying such pleasure and complete sexual fulfillment
Goodness…. Yes. I never heard that word before. (compression)…. Well, I understand people have different fantasies…. I think this one is more accurate. There is no “humiliation”, “replacement”, or any of those psychological twists…. It’s simply acknowledging our partners can have pleasure (that gives us pleasure too) without diminishing ourselves (certainly a lot less dark)…. I wonder why this is not more widely known…. Thank you “mrmrsfun”…. I learned something new today…
Gotcha. As far as humiliation goes. Porn has done a disservice to the word cuckolding which is simply a man's wife having sex with another man. They brought humiliation into it and some like it, I certainly don't. My view.
Look up hotwife or stag vixen lifestyle. Let her decide always while you make suggestions and ask her what she thinks. I was brought up thinking that pleasure was wrong and that sex was for the man's pleasure. Yuck.
She shouldn't ever do what she doesn't want. Sounds simpler than it is. Lol. Always have rules. Mine is, my husband is always with me, I never stay the night and never ever close the door between me and my husband when I'm with another man. There's more but you need to have your own.
As my husband likes to say. He let me have his way.
Oh BTW. You will be surprised at how respectful other guys are to your wife. They talk big but they know who's in charge. You are inviting them into your marriage and most have the utmost respect for you as a man. Only a string man can do this and a strong woman.
I totally love your honest response. Thank you. I know this is of course personal, and everybody has to come up with her own, but if there’s not much to ask, I would love to learn more about the rules as you guys have set up. I love what you say that there is always something that needs to be done together, not close doors…. I think it’s a fine line, but I agree that having a boundary so the line between love and affection and raw sex do not cross…. I assume not having strong rules and understanding may lead couples to actually drift apart….Gotcha. As far as humiliation goes. Porn has done a disservice to the word cuckolding which is simply a man's wife having sex with another man. They brought humiliation into it and some like it, I certainly don't. My view.
Look up hotwife or stag vixen lifestyle. Let her decide always while you make suggestions and ask her what she thinks. I was brought up thinking that pleasure was wrong and that sex was for the man's pleasure. Yuck.
She shouldn't ever do what she doesn't want. Sounds simpler than it is. Lol. Always have rules. Mine is, my husband is always with me, I never stay the night and never ever close the door between me and my husband when I'm with another man. There's more but you need to have your own.
As my husband likes to say. He let me have his way.
The ONLY way I felt comfortable was AFTER the guy left and hubby and I had this deep reconnection sex. I knew then! Communication before is so important, but for a wife she really won’t know it’s ok until you hold her and tell her how much you love her after she’s been fucked by another man in front of you. There is just no way to “talk” her in to believing it is ok. Just my point of view.
XOXO
XOXO
Similar threads
- Question
