MyTravis9
Couple
I'm in my mid 30's and BBW. Boyfriend was very open and informative from day 1 helping me to understand the cuckold/sissy/chastity world. I spent my 20's full filing every sexual fantasy I could so even though I had vanillaed up (A LOT) in my 30's, I was able to open up to the idea fairly quickly. Until it came time to pick someone....... I am not ugly by any means but my body is not what I personally find attractive. This anxiety, mixed with years of experience with (forgive me please) picking out losers that just wouldn't get what NO meant had made me both picky and quick to bail at the slightest of hints of a red flag. Plus who wants to get excited about something that should be fun and fulling, just to end up codling some random dude because either he nutted to quick or had whisky dick. I would rather cuddle my sissy at home eating pizza, drinking beer and teasing him about his 3in clitty dick. What I wasn't prepared for, though, was when the spark isn't felt from the perspective bull to me. I don't interview well anymore, maybe I never have, idk because hooking up at 25 and especially since back then I was smoking hot, men just flocked to me. I didn't have to ask to be held down or make a profile that mentioned 'please kiss me like you can't live without it' or 'I'm ok with sex on my front porch if it's so hot we can't make it any farther' tags. My first Tinder meet up we agreed to head for him, doggy for me. Imagine how gross and rejected I felt as I'm swallowing his baby juice and he tells that next time it's my turn but he had totally forgotten something and had to run go like right now. Perhaps I should also mention here that when I started dating my sissy, I was pregnant with a little black (lets play house during covid lockdown) baby. But at week 30, I delivered him stillborn. I have been with my cuck for a little over a year now so it was about a year ago that after my first attempt to openly cheat made me feel unwanted and used in ways I didn't know possible. But I got back on the horse and tried again with the cutest, short baby face black man named Joe. He was able to come around 4/5 times until the new year. Then he was front page news (small town mid west) for ******* distribution.... That made the SISSY think twice enough we actually had sex in January..... He got his PA piercing in April and sometime in May I ran into an old lover that I actually still use but is only available every few months. By September I was so flustered I came home ******* and practically ****** my sissy to put SOMETHING besides plastic inside of me. 2inchs will go a long way when it's that or a fucking pillow. Set up a hookup about 2 weeks ago with another old lover. Hot, heavy, dirty messages for a week leading up to it. He no call, no shows. But I had a backup I figured would be a sure thing if need be (see where I'm going with this?) His rejection was of a religious nature. I think full disclosure is best so after explaining our lifestyle to him I think I hurt his pride because I would rather create a life with a man that crossdresses and is hung like a gerble...... So he after a few shots of whiskey and show & tell pictures on our phones, he found God and morals and pride. At least he was nice enough to let me crash their sense at that point I was just ******* enough to be stuck. That was last week. Last penis I had was in September. All 2inches of it. So I stepped up to be the Dom hot wife last night and gave him deadlines to be in his cage with consequences if he didn't and extra credit for a bow. Thinking ok I think it's the right mix of *******, humiliation and reward that perhaps he might cum in his cage. I even told him he would be stuck in it until he found a bull fore because obviously I have no game anymore, nor any mojo that makes me attractive. I had plans with a friend to celebrate her birthday so I wouldn't be home all evening. So when he messaged 2 minutes before his deadline I thought maybe he was hoping for the punishment.... Nope, he was to busy listening to about friend of ours having an emotional breakdown that spiraled into some sort of sissy shaming or hot wife shaming because I had mentioned my frustrations with picking up men. He never did put his cage on. Unexpectedly I had been given a most likely from a gentleman at the party before I realized that what I had set up for my sissys sexual needs were not as important as he had claimed the last year and he wasnt doing it. While outside trying to figure out why my relationship was being attacked from inside my home, the new prospect left, I think he overheard and new I was upset so not really another rejection, but just as much of a pride thing. Now I'm on here trying my hardest to find out what I'm doing wrong (because it's obviously me). Even my sissy hasn't touched me since the end of September. And I refuse to let him touch me a few days after any rejection because it feels like sympathy sex. I'm sitting here wondering when our roles reversed and I became the cuck. Because I have seen the amount of love his white boy, ghetto booty gets from men online. He has options. I have cats, my own bed downstairs and a stupid dildo that I want to hit my friend with. Help.....
