Need some help here, New cuckold getting used to the lifestyle. Talk to me

Hey guys, I created this page with my fiancé a while ago and she’s barely on it but I check it often. Sometimes I go months without checking then sometimes I check daily. I just wanted to talk to my fellow black to white community because I don’t really express being a cuck to my friends and family. So just some background, me and my beautiful fiancé been together 6 years now, I’d say about 3 years ago she started to get extremely freaky, I’d always come at her about cheating, because when I met my fiancé she had sex and sucked my friends dick. It was about 10 of us and she probably got with 4/5 and she wasn’t alone it was a bunch of girls as well but something about her stood out and I made her mine. Was very uncomfortable at first and I had no cuck lifestyle or intentions or even knew what a cuck was and if you would’ve asked me at that time I probably would’ve started a fight. So fast forward, she becomes my girl and she calms all the way down, no more slut days for her, actually her trying to be faithful more than anything. So I would accuse her of cheating because I did catch her up a couple times maybe 2/3. So we started getting very freaky and she always would ask to eat my ass, I never would let her, and she would keep trying. I accused her so much one day she said you want to see me fuck a black man don’t you? ...... I definitely didn’t, at the time my mindset was bitch if you fuck a black man I’d ******* you, but it was something about how she said it made it interesting but I still denied it because I wasn’t interested. Then I thought about it more and more, we would fantasize and talk ******* and we started off pretending she was getting fucked just with realistic toys, then downloading bbc apps, then looking for guys, and we got deeper and found guys but we’d always cancel last minute. Recently she fucked a guy and man, my heart was through my chest, I was hurting so bad but my dick loved it so much. He was much bigger than me as well. He started to like her and fall for her so she cut him off and ow has a new black man but with a bigger dick than his.... and the last one was already huge. She always tells me she’s doing it for me, and how if I didn’t ask she wouldn’t and she doesn’t like doing this and how it’s me me me me because somehow I’ve gotten obsessed with her fucking supposedly.. but when she records herself fucking guys, she fucks like she fucks me, she enjoys it, she eats the dick up like she love it, she swallows, she get nutted in, she rides dick, sucks it, throw it back, everything. Really fucks these niggas! But then say afterwards it’s only for me and she doesn’t enjoy it.. what do you guys think? Am I tripping? Sounds to me she really wants to fuck guys and by me being cool with it cause it gets me off, she blames it on me so she doesn’t look like the one crazy about big dick. I can admit, recently I’ve lost my mind and I’m always asking her to fuck, I’m saying baby go over and suck some dick for daddy or get fucked so daddy could have some dirty pussy to eat when you get home. I have gotten bad with it but even before bad she would deny deny deny but when she fuck, she fucks like she wanted that fuck. Talk to me y’all, whatever is on your mind, speak it. And ima upload another video, this one is her new black man. He’s fucking her like he love her and she’s taking dick like she wants it.
 
you need to share your feelings and desires with her. You should ask her to lick your ass and finger you. I will train her to 100% of the time if she sucks your cock she fingers your ass. When she fucks other cocks - you should beg to lick her pussy - I will train her to ride your face while she shares the details with you. Now tell me more what you want - you want to suck cocks hard and guide cocks into her pussy.
 
Hey guys, I created this page with my fiancé a while ago and she’s barely on it but I check it often. Sometimes I go months without checking then sometimes I check daily. I just wanted to talk to my fellow black to white community because I don’t really express being a cuck to my friends and family. So just some background, me and my beautiful fiancé been together 6 years now, I’d say about 3 years ago she started to get extremely freaky, I’d always come at her about cheating, because when I met my fiancé she had sex and sucked my friends dick. It was about 10 of us and she probably got with 4/5 and she wasn’t alone it was a bunch of girls as well but something about her stood out and I made her mine. Was very uncomfortable at first and I had no cuck lifestyle or intentions or even knew what a cuck was and if you would’ve asked me at that time I probably would’ve started a fight. So fast forward, she becomes my girl and she calms all the way down, no more slut days for her, actually her trying to be faithful more than anything. So I would accuse her of cheating because I did catch her up a couple times maybe 2/3. So we started getting very freaky and she always would ask to eat my ass, I never would let her, and she would keep trying. I accused her so much one day she said you want to see me fuck a black man don’t you? ...... I definitely didn’t, at the time my mindset was bitch if you fuck a black man I’d ******* you, but it was something about how she said it made it interesting but I still denied it because I wasn’t interested. Then I thought about it more and more, we would fantasize and talk ******* and we started off pretending she was getting fucked just with realistic toys, then downloading bbc apps, then looking for guys, and we got deeper and found guys but we’d always cancel last minute. Recently she fucked a guy and man, my heart was through my chest, I was hurting so bad but my dick loved it so much. He was much bigger than me as well. He started to like her and fall for her so she cut him off and ow has a new black man but with a bigger dick than his.... and the last one was already huge. She always tells me she’s doing it for me, and how if I didn’t ask she wouldn’t and she doesn’t like doing this and how it’s me me me me because somehow I’ve gotten obsessed with her fucking supposedly.. but when she records herself fucking guys, she fucks like she fucks me, she enjoys it, she eats the dick up like she love it, she swallows, she get nutted in, she rides dick, sucks it, throw it back, everything. Really fucks these niggas! But then say afterwards it’s only for me and she doesn’t enjoy it.. what do you guys think? Am I tripping? Sounds to me she really wants to fuck guys and by me being cool with it cause it gets me off, she blames it on me so she doesn’t look like the one crazy about big dick. I can admit, recently I’ve lost my mind and I’m always asking her to fuck, I’m saying baby go over and suck some dick for daddy or get fucked so daddy could have some dirty pussy to eat when you get home. I have gotten bad with it but even before bad she would deny deny deny but when she fuck, she fucks like she wanted that fuck. Talk to me y’all, whatever is on your mind, speak it. And ima upload another video, this one is her new black man. He’s fucking her like he love her and she’s taking dick like she wants it.
Dude talk to her about your feelings. You may just need some reassurance is all and seems like she’s legit and treats you good. Don’t let the fantasy impede on the relationship. Emphasize healthy communication so it improves the relationship and the lifestyle as well.
 
Hey guys, I created this page with my fiancé a while ago and she’s barely on it but I check it often. Sometimes I go months without checking then sometimes I check daily. I just wanted to talk to my fellow black to white community because I don’t really express being a cuck to my friends and family. So just some background, me and my beautiful fiancé been together 6 years now, I’d say about 3 years ago she started to get extremely freaky, I’d always come at her about cheating, because when I met my fiancé she had sex and sucked my friends dick. It was about 10 of us and she probably got with 4/5 and she wasn’t alone it was a bunch of girls as well but something about her stood out and I made her mine. Was very uncomfortable at first and I had no cuck lifestyle or intentions or even knew what a cuck was and if you would’ve asked me at that time I probably would’ve started a fight. So fast forward, she becomes my girl and she calms all the way down, no more slut days for her, actually her trying to be faithful more than anything. So I would accuse her of cheating because I did catch her up a couple times maybe 2/3. So we started getting very freaky and she always would ask to eat my ass, I never would let her, and she would keep trying. I accused her so much one day she said you want to see me fuck a black man don’t you? ...... I definitely didn’t, at the time my mindset was bitch if you fuck a black man I’d ******* you, but it was something about how she said it made it interesting but I still denied it because I wasn’t interested. Then I thought about it more and more, we would fantasize and talk ******* and we started off pretending she was getting fucked just with realistic toys, then downloading bbc apps, then looking for guys, and we got deeper and found guys but we’d always cancel last minute. Recently she fucked a guy and man, my heart was through my chest, I was hurting so bad but my dick loved it so much. He was much bigger than me as well. He started to like her and fall for her so she cut him off and ow has a new black man but with a bigger dick than his.... and the last one was already huge. She always tells me she’s doing it for me, and how if I didn’t ask she wouldn’t and she doesn’t like doing this and how it’s me me me me because somehow I’ve gotten obsessed with her fucking supposedly.. but when she records herself fucking guys, she fucks like she fucks me, she enjoys it, she eats the dick up like she love it, she swallows, she get nutted in, she rides dick, sucks it, throw it back, everything. Really fucks these niggas! But then say afterwards it’s only for me and she doesn’t enjoy it.. what do you guys think? Am I tripping? Sounds to me she really wants to fuck guys and by me being cool with it cause it gets me off, she blames it on me so she doesn’t look like the one crazy about big dick. I can admit, recently I’ve lost my mind and I’m always asking her to fuck, I’m saying baby go over and suck some dick for daddy or get fucked so daddy could have some dirty pussy to eat when you get home. I have gotten bad with it but even before bad she would deny deny deny but when she fuck, she fucks like she wanted that fuck. Talk to me y’all, whatever is on your mind, speak it. And ima upload another video, this one is her new black man. He’s fucking her like he love her and she’s taking dick like she wants it.
Lucky dude. I’d say get her more involved. Maybe suggest a bull that will share her with other guys.
 
I didn't read what you wrote. Do what inspires you. If your inspiration was fucking other men, is very promiscuous and you find her enrapturing and worthwhile....then enjoy her and enjoy only the good aspects of what you have. Only consider what you are giving up for it. I mean if she is worth it, if she is very sexual, and stays happy and does it and forms confidence around relationships, then why not. There is joy in joy. Read the feedback and live life bro. Everyone will support that.

Fantasy and reality are two different worlds. Reality is what you make of it. Do things that are good for you, and don't do things that would hurt you or the people you love, the people close to you. If they see you happy then you are happy, you can deal with all the things that come with your happiness. I still have trouble when certain individuals consider my relationship bad, or with disdain. But if that comes with my peak happiness then who is more important? What I think they think or my happiness?
 
So you guys met in a fairly promiscuous, maybe even polyamorous circle of friends, then she went through an experimental monogamous phase and now she's a sexy freak again. Basically this is the opposite dynamic of what most guys come on here to grieve about.

It does sound like maybe she just does what she pleases and then kind of gaslights you a bit like it was YOUR idea all along, that somehow you put the idea in her head! lol But then you've really got into the spirit of it too so there you are.

You've been engaged six years tho but never closed the deal? I guess maybe there's no reason to now if she's happy with the arrangement and you're riding it out.
 
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