Simple answer you're not ready; you possibly may never be. Fantasy is all sugary skittles , unicorns and laughing at/with clouds. Reality has teeth, can be painful, can be unpredictable, and rarely actually matches the mosaic of the perfectly painted pictures you create in your own mind. Your indecisiveness is confusing since you so ardently asked her to fulfill your fantasy and then you said "No". I hope you offered her the courtesy of "WHY" you said no. Communication.
Communication is key which i do so enjoy saying in many of my posts and mean it with every fiber of my being.
Yeahhh, you may have "shot your shot" and she may do her own thing without adding you being knowledgeable to the equation.
My recommendation: find the correct opportunity and openly and honestly talk about "Why". Its not uncommon to have a hot heart and cold feet. In this case, try to discover why you had a knee jetk reaction of "Nooooo" and express that to your Lady.
When/Where Communication stops, Problems begin.