I believe you know what the pros/cons of doing this with a "lover" ... particularly if that lover is of a different race as the 2 of you. If the 2 of you really wish to have children, but can't, you start by eliminating possible problems. The least expensive problem to determine is your husband's ability to fertilize your egg. If that test shows no abnormalities, then they go to you and start eliminating possible problems, and this is where it starts getting expensive. But, with female reproduction, it
could be something really serious, such as a tumor, and you would definitely
want to know of that.
So, my suggestion is that you get your husband checked out first to eliminate "him" as the problem, then talk with your family doctor.
Just for your information, the
biological ******* can still be liable for the children he fathers EVEN if you and he have a prearranged agreement saying otherwise. This is particularly so when the paternal ******* ( your husband) either dies or disappears while the children are growing up. This lover of yours needs to know that. The courts will do what is in the best interest of the children.
Here's something of interest, by the way, that a lot of people don't know about; its called
hetropaternal superfecundation. My company just settled a $60,000+ medical claim on this a year or so ago. The odds of this, by the way, is about 1:400 when a woman is carrying
fraternal twins.