Well stated
Long term vs short term
- Thread starter black rob
- Start date
Thanks.. we’re just dipping our toes back in after a long break. My wife wasn’t as open minded and took their unreliability and deceit as rejection whereas she should have understood that it was people not after what we were after but not having the courage to be open and honest about it. We’re better prepared and ready for it all this time around.
Stlcouple0701
Couple
I think for us we struggle to find a BULL because this whole concept really a lifestyle change and lifestyle choice. Anyone can have sex with anyone but for it to truly be a great experience all 3 people have to mesh and get out of the encounter what they want. For us being new and not truly knowing what to expect adds a whole different dimension than those already experienced and know what they want to a T. What we have seen is pretty much what the other post said. Most men seem to just want to meet up right away and get down to business. Some prefer this and other don’t. Given the nature of a female it’s more practical that they are the one that is the most comfortable with the BULL and unfortunately it takes several meetings and lots of talking to make that happen. If she can’t build a intellectual relationship than most likely the sec won’t be good either. We want the whole experience with discretion and it makes it difficult cause it’s hard to find that needle in a haystack wanting the same thing.
I understand that also. The best advice i can give is to go at your own pace. Although some bulls think they are calling the shots the only reason they are "calling the shots" is because the couple is allowing them to do that. It has to be mutual between all parties for it to work
Stlcouple0701
Couple
Well and by all means that’s what a dominant alpha bull is supposed to do but I think that is more for when the relationship progresses not the first 5 minutes
Ultimately the couple call the shots, they may just allow the extra to think he is doing so however for it all to work they all need to be communicating and even compromising.
Stlcouple0701
Couple
Couldn’t agree more
NEOhioCurious
Couple
It's basically dating. With the rest of life going on as well. Takes time. Seems to me some have interest in devoting more time than others. Can make the whole thing challenging.
For us finding a REAL BBC is a struggle. so Many ppl pretending.
We don’t mind their situation aslong as they don’t flake, but long term would be cool to build something. We aren’t looking for a 3rd companion, just a friend that likes to hang out and fuck. Lol
It’s stressful finding someone new that fits us andvaint bsin on size. Lol
We don’t mind their situation aslong as they don’t flake, but long term would be cool to build something. We aren’t looking for a 3rd companion, just a friend that likes to hang out and fuck. Lol
It’s stressful finding someone new that fits us andvaint bsin on size. Lol
I couldn't agree with you more. On occasion I get messages from couples I never heard of before saying we are coming by your city let's meet up? I'm not into fuck and forgets. I prefer something where the relationship is solid and long lasting. Impossible if they would be here temporarily and never again. Moreover, we should also share a similar outlook on things. Otherwise it would be better not to meet at all.
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NEOhioCurious
Couple
Based on posts in this thread, we found people who should work well together based on what we are looking for. But then the geography has to work as well. Grinz
When we first got into the lifestyle over 6 years ago, I had two long term exclusive relationships, each over a year and each shared me from time to time. Each relationship was a positive experience, as myself and my hubby both grew to understand our roles in the lifestyle with bulls that we trusted. However, in each case, I developed more feelings (i.e.- fell in love) with the guys I was seeing than I should have. In the first case, the guy ended the relationship, which was devastating to me. In the second case, my next boyfriend was all for it and I almost wound up divorcing my hubby. Needless to say, a few weeks after being separated from hubby and moving in with the second boyfriend, I realized it was not what I wanted, and realized what I was missing in my marriage.
After these experiences, hubby and I decided that exclusive relationships were not right for us. Since then we have always seen multiple guys at the same time on a more medium/short term duration. Rarely, if out of town or away on business I will have a one night stand, but I definitely prefer being with one of my boyfriends that I have already established a trust and rapport with.
After these experiences, hubby and I decided that exclusive relationships were not right for us. Since then we have always seen multiple guys at the same time on a more medium/short term duration. Rarely, if out of town or away on business I will have a one night stand, but I definitely prefer being with one of my boyfriends that I have already established a trust and rapport with.
It all depends on how the chemistry is with the person I'm with. I would prefer long term with one, since there's much STD going around. I'd like to make sure the other person understand that we can have pleasure but still need to be safe about our own health. Taking too much chance and your lucky card will run out one of these days.
Prefer long term. Present is 15 years.
CoppiaCuck
Couple
If you find the right man the best thing is the long term. When there is a feeling, everything is more spontaneous.
That is the only issue ive found on this site is geography it seems like the perfect person is 19990999 miles again. But it is still really good to chat with people who have similar interests and ideas
This is a very important post! It's shows the diversity of this group and how everyone is different. Some people don't compartmentalize sex and love. And i never really thought about it from an aspect of why someone would want only short term things but this makes perfect sense. Where you able to revive your marriage?
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