I think you should come clean. How much do you love your wife? How would she answer the same question posed about you? If you have a very strong marriage with deep feelings for each other, tell her the truth, “I have a confession to make. Obviously you know my number 1 fantasy is to watch you with another man. And although it’s made for some hot sex in the bedroom, you have said on more than one occasion that you have no interest in doing it in real life. I totally get that, and respect your thoughts on this. I love you so much and I would never want to fuck up our marriage by pressuring you to do anything you didn’t want to do. With that said, just speaking from a pure fantasy perspective, can I just tell you that watching you talk to Rodney got me so freaking hot? Not saying there is anything there, or should be anything there, just saying it made me insanely hot. I know you are just being nice and helping him, because you are a good person by nature, but maybe in the bedroom you can throw me a bone and we can have some dirty talk related to you and Rodney? He’s a good looking, well built dude, he looks like he could make women see God, kidding well sort of. Have you ever thought of him sexually, or any black guys sexually? If not can you lie and tell me you have? Mostly kidding. The cool thing about us playing with this fantasy is that it’s just for us. He doesn’t need to know I go crazy thinking about him taking my sexy little wife and giving her mind blowing orgasms. Maybe one of the scenarios is that you feel so bad for nice guy Rodney, and he’s so upset/down after his divorce, you feel like it’s your Good Samaritan duty by sharing your amazing sexual talents with the poor guy.”
Obviously you know her best and what convo and scenarios might work best. But I just think the “let’s try to trick her into wanting to try something with him” is manipulative and I agree that it might lead to a future where she develops feelings for this guy and leaves you. You being honest up front makes it clear she has the green light if she wants it, but it also anchors you into whatever budding relationship there may be with him. Nothing will get her thinking about Rodney fucking her more than sex talk and role play around it where she knows how bad you would like to see her with him, plus, it would likely mean that she is cumming with images of his cock buried deep inside her. Just my two cents. Honesty is the best policy.
Also, I think your comment to her about relieving his sexual tension was probably pretty awkward and she knew you had an ulterior motive. Who out of the blue talks to his wife about finding a guy a woman to relieve his sexual tension? She’s not his pimp nor wing man. To me that seemed ****** and unnatural, Jmo.