I think I've ruined my marriage by pursuing cuckolding. Need advice.

[demalejpo]

Probably not the best place/forum to discuss this, but I need advice from people that understand this lifestyle.

My wife and I have been married six plus years, together for nine. Very early in our relationship my wife, then girlfriend, expressed to me a strong attraction to black men, although she had never dated a black man. This was before I had expressed any of my cuckold feelings to her, which had started during my previous relationship. I think this set in motion my desire to share her which has developed over the years.

My wife and I have been discussing this for almost the entirety of our relationship in some form or another. Her interest level in pursuing this in reality has waxed and waned. I would say only once have we ever started to put an action plan in place to make it happen and it died very early on because I got jealous. Regardless, this fantasy has formed the basis of our sex life for years. Nothing turns either of us on as much as this.

We now have a toddler. Parenting is super hard and it hasn't been easy on our sex life. Truthfully, the frequency of our sex life has been an issue since we got married. In good times, it's once a week and in bad times once a month. It's been an issue between us. Recently, I've felt ready to make our fantasy a reality. For a while, she wanted to lose the pregnancy weight before giving it a go.

Two weeks ago we had a very frank and honest discussion about our sex life and she told me that she's been trying to get over some of the religious sexual hangups that she thinks have been holding her back and limiting our intimacy. It was a really good conversation, but I kinda thought like some of our previous ones it wouldn't go anywhere. Boy, was I wrong. We fucked five times in a week and it was great. Then, last Saturday out of the blue she downloaded tinder, and started matching and chatting to black guys.

She was turned off by a lot of the guys but really hit it off with two guys. I was initially very excited and supportive about all of this but as the week has worn on I've been hit with increasing jealousy. I think this is related to a variety of factors. Her willingness to do things with and for them she won't or rarely does with me. Her desire for the boyfriend experience, primarily her attraction to someone she has more in common with than with them being conventionally attractive. There's a lot happening here. I felt my increasing anxiety and asked her if she could stop texting them until we figure some stuff out. The conversation had become very sexual and she had even sent them pics of her in her panties and bra. Might not seem like a lot to you guys but it's amazing if you knew my wife. My wife said she would stop but still proceeded to send a few more texts before winding things down.

I told her today that I'm struggling with this thing that I was sure I wanted but now I'm not so sure. She's very upset and feels rightfully jerked around. I get her point but we also said we'd be honest and let each other know if we weren't comfortable or wanted to stop. I feel like something in her has been unleashed and it's exciting but I can tell she doesn't have a lot of interest to going back to how things were. She wants to move forward with these guys. I'm now questioning if I take want to be this person and why I want someone who doesn't think I'm enough. Feels like the genie is out of the bottle and I'm not sure I'm emotionally capable of dealing with these feelings. I want to talk to a therapist and figure it out but it will take time. Time that I'm not sure my wife wants to wait on.

Honest opinion, where do we go from here? We love each other and have a baby but we may want different things now

I would say let her follow her urges with your blessing. She obviously craves black cock and deserves your encouragement and support.

 

[AryanSkin]

Probably not the best place/forum to discuss this, but I need advice from people that understand this lifestyle.

My wife and I have been married six plus years, together for nine. Very early in our relationship my wife, then girlfriend, expressed to me a strong attraction to black men, although she had never dated a black man. This was before I had expressed any of my cuckold feelings to her, which had started during my previous relationship. I think this set in motion my desire to share her which has developed over the years.

My wife and I have been discussing this for almost the entirety of our relationship in some form or another. Her interest level in pursuing this in reality has waxed and waned. I would say only once have we ever started to put an action plan in place to make it happen and it died very early on because I got jealous. Regardless, this fantasy has formed the basis of our sex life for years. Nothing turns either of us on as much as this.

We now have a toddler. Parenting is super hard and it hasn't been easy on our sex life. Truthfully, the frequency of our sex life has been an issue since we got married. In good times, it's once a week and in bad times once a month. It's been an issue between us. Recently, I've felt ready to make our fantasy a reality. For a while, she wanted to lose the pregnancy weight before giving it a go.

Two weeks ago we had a very frank and honest discussion about our sex life and she told me that she's been trying to get over some of the religious sexual hangups that she thinks have been holding her back and limiting our intimacy. It was a really good conversation, but I kinda thought like some of our previous ones it wouldn't go anywhere. Boy, was I wrong. We fucked five times in a week and it was great. Then, last Saturday out of the blue she downloaded tinder, and started matching and chatting to black guys.

She was turned off by a lot of the guys but really hit it off with two guys. I was initially very excited and supportive about all of this but as the week has worn on I've been hit with increasing jealousy. I think this is related to a variety of factors. Her willingness to do things with and for them she won't or rarely does with me. Her desire for the boyfriend experience, primarily her attraction to someone she has more in common with than with them being conventionally attractive. There's a lot happening here. I felt my increasing anxiety and asked her if she could stop texting them until we figure some stuff out. The conversation had become very sexual and she had even sent them pics of her in her panties and bra. Might not seem like a lot to you guys but it's amazing if you knew my wife. My wife said she would stop but still proceeded to send a few more texts before winding things down.

I told her today that I'm struggling with this thing that I was sure I wanted but now I'm not so sure. She's very upset and feels rightfully jerked around. I get her point but we also said we'd be honest and let each other know if we weren't comfortable or wanted to stop. I feel like something in her has been unleashed and it's exciting but I can tell she doesn't have a lot of interest to going back to how things were. She wants to move forward with these guys. I'm now questioning if I take want to be this person and why I want someone who doesn't think I'm enough. Feels like the genie is out of the bottle and I'm not sure I'm emotionally capable of dealing with these feelings. I want to talk to a therapist and figure it out but it will take time. Time that I'm not sure my wife wants to wait on.

Honest opinion, where do we go from here? We love each other and have a baby but we may want different things now

time to let her become BLACKED like all should..

 

[marco vittoro]

things could get pretty interesting when desires awaken instincts.
when instincts take control, well...you'll not be able to hide the results.
be ready for that. have that discussion.

 

[Whitewifeneedsbbc]

Ever heard that saying be careful what you wish for???

because it may just come true!

Sounds like you guys have a great relationship and you can stop her now I guess
Yeah sure you can tell her to stop
But your not going to stop it yourself are you ???
Your still going to continue watching interracial porn
Cuckolding ect
And every time you look at her
Or make love with her
YOU ARE STILL ALWAYS GOING TO BE IMAGINING HER AND HOW GOOD SHE WOULD LOOK
WITH A HUGE BIG BLACK COCK IN HER MOUTH
AND LOWERING HERSELF ONTO A BBC

are you still going to fantasise about her having sex with bbc ?????
If so you don’t want her to stop do you

let her go and meet up with the two she’s met on tinder

 

[jsoros76]

If the frank and honest convo was just two weeks ago (though you've been talking/fantasizing about this for so long) just be polite and sweet about it and ask her for a few weeks of cooling-off so you get your thoughts together. You could also ask her to let you in on her tinder activities: maybe you can be like her social director, telling her what outfits to wear in her pics, helping dictate her replies and convos with these guys. You could feel more included and more in control, and she would feel more supported and also feel more like this is a joint adventure which the two of you are both proactive in. I think you should try and treat this as a story the two of you write together. But remember, she has her own Blacked/hotwife fantasies (your marriage seems to be in the happy minority here where the wife is at least as active and forward about her fantasies as the guy is) so understand that in your case this really is about her happiness too.

I think the two of you can make this work together. Yes, technically you could call it off and with mutual understanding I think the two of you would eventually cool off, but it's very premature to worry that you've ruined everything either way. Just chill a bit, ask her for time for the both of you to quietly exhale and calm your nerves, and then wait things out. I think the two of you can both find your pulses quickening again together in unison, and the happy outcome can be that you together enjoy conspiring to make your mutual Blacked hotwife fantasies come true.

This is fantastic advice and the opposite of what I did. I introduced my wife to the concept and then tried to stifle it. It did not stop her and drove a wedge between us. Looking back, I wish I would have found my place as her cuckold by being supportive of her desires, exploring it together. I would recommend getting comfortable w the fact her pleasure is of prime importance and enjoy the intense experience. Im actually envious...

 

[Sis boi stacy]

 

[KingHandsome99]

Probably not the best place/forum to discuss this, but I need advice from people that understand this lifestyle.

My wife and I have been married six plus years, together for nine. Very early in our relationship my wife, then girlfriend, expressed to me a strong attraction to black men, although she had never dated a black man. This was before I had expressed any of my cuckold feelings to her, which had started during my previous relationship. I think this set in motion my desire to share her which has developed over the years.

My wife and I have been discussing this for almost the entirety of our relationship in some form or another. Her interest level in pursuing this in reality has waxed and waned. I would say only once have we ever started to put an action plan in place to make it happen and it died very early on because I got jealous. Regardless, this fantasy has formed the basis of our sex life for years. Nothing turns either of us on as much as this.

We now have a toddler. Parenting is super hard and it hasn't been easy on our sex life. Truthfully, the frequency of our sex life has been an issue since we got married. In good times, it's once a week and in bad times once a month. It's been an issue between us. Recently, I've felt ready to make our fantasy a reality. For a while, she wanted to lose the pregnancy weight before giving it a go.

Two weeks ago we had a very frank and honest discussion about our sex life and she told me that she's been trying to get over some of the religious sexual hangups that she thinks have been holding her back and limiting our intimacy. It was a really good conversation, but I kinda thought like some of our previous ones it wouldn't go anywhere. Boy, was I wrong. We fucked five times in a week and it was great. Then, last Saturday out of the blue she downloaded tinder, and started matching and chatting to black guys.

She was turned off by a lot of the guys but really hit it off with two guys. I was initially very excited and supportive about all of this but as the week has worn on I've been hit with increasing jealousy. I think this is related to a variety of factors. Her willingness to do things with and for them she won't or rarely does with me. Her desire for the boyfriend experience, primarily her attraction to someone she has more in common with than with them being conventionally attractive. There's a lot happening here. I felt my increasing anxiety and asked her if she could stop texting them until we figure some stuff out. The conversation had become very sexual and she had even sent them pics of her in her panties and bra. Might not seem like a lot to you guys but it's amazing if you knew my wife. My wife said she would stop but still proceeded to send a few more texts before winding things down.

I told her today that I'm struggling with this thing that I was sure I wanted but now I'm not so sure. She's very upset and feels rightfully jerked around. I get her point but we also said we'd be honest and let each other know if we weren't comfortable or wanted to stop. I feel like something in her has been unleashed and it's exciting but I can tell she doesn't have a lot of interest to going back to how things were. She wants to move forward with these guys. I'm now questioning if I take want to be this person and why I want someone who doesn't think I'm enough. Feels like the genie is out of the bottle and I'm not sure I'm emotionally capable of dealing with these feelings. I want to talk to a therapist and figure it out but it will take time. Time that I'm not sure my wife wants to wait on.

Honest opinion, where do we go from here? We love each other and have a baby but we may want different things now

yeah go to therapy. Im not gonna give a why reason why this happened. All I can say yall got a kid involved, figure the ******* out asap. The baby in the long run gonna suffer from this if yall dont get it together!

 

[AllTheWayIn]

Probably not the best place/forum to discuss this, but I need advice from people that understand this lifestyle.

My wife and I have been married six plus years, together for nine. Very early in our relationship my wife, then girlfriend, expressed to me a strong attraction to black men, although she had never dated a black man. This was before I had expressed any of my cuckold feelings to her, which had started during my previous relationship. I think this set in motion my desire to share her which has developed over the years.

My wife and I have been discussing this for almost the entirety of our relationship in some form or another. Her interest level in pursuing this in reality has waxed and waned. I would say only once have we ever started to put an action plan in place to make it happen and it died very early on because I got jealous. Regardless, this fantasy has formed the basis of our sex life for years. Nothing turns either of us on as much as this.

We now have a toddler. Parenting is super hard and it hasn't been easy on our sex life. Truthfully, the frequency of our sex life has been an issue since we got married. In good times, it's once a week and in bad times once a month. It's been an issue between us. Recently, I've felt ready to make our fantasy a reality. For a while, she wanted to lose the pregnancy weight before giving it a go.

Two weeks ago we had a very frank and honest discussion about our sex life and she told me that she's been trying to get over some of the religious sexual hangups that she thinks have been holding her back and limiting our intimacy. It was a really good conversation, but I kinda thought like some of our previous ones it wouldn't go anywhere. Boy, was I wrong. We fucked five times in a week and it was great. Then, last Saturday out of the blue she downloaded tinder, and started matching and chatting to black guys.

She was turned off by a lot of the guys but really hit it off with two guys. I was initially very excited and supportive about all of this but as the week has worn on I've been hit with increasing jealousy. I think this is related to a variety of factors. Her willingness to do things with and for them she won't or rarely does with me. Her desire for the boyfriend experience, primarily her attraction to someone she has more in common with than with them being conventionally attractive. There's a lot happening here. I felt my increasing anxiety and asked her if she could stop texting them until we figure some stuff out. The conversation had become very sexual and she had even sent them pics of her in her panties and bra. Might not seem like a lot to you guys but it's amazing if you knew my wife. My wife said she would stop but still proceeded to send a few more texts before winding things down.

I told her today that I'm struggling with this thing that I was sure I wanted but now I'm not so sure. She's very upset and feels rightfully jerked around. I get her point but we also said we'd be honest and let each other know if we weren't comfortable or wanted to stop. I feel like something in her has been unleashed and it's exciting but I can tell she doesn't have a lot of interest to going back to how things were. She wants to move forward with these guys. I'm now questioning if I take want to be this person and why I want someone who doesn't think I'm enough. Feels like the genie is out of the bottle and I'm not sure I'm emotionally capable of dealing with these feelings. I want to talk to a therapist and figure it out but it will take time. Time that I'm not sure my wife wants to wait on.

Honest opinion, where do we go from here? We love each other and have a baby but we may want different things now

You sound like a complete, manipulative loser. You pushed her into this lifestyle and now you're whining about it because she's giving you what you asked her for? You're the reason so many women hate men. Whatever she does from here on in, you deserve. Pathetic.

 

[terryeaton]

My advice would be, find a tall, muscular Black man with a long, thick penis... have her fuck your wife. Suck his cock.have him fun in her... then repeat.

 

[dram360]

Honestly man you messed up...you dont get a woman to this point and then start whining about your feelings. This kind of relationship takes alot of courage and for a woman and you having doubts is ok but u need to handle it internally as much as u can BEFORE talking to her about it....because now u planted the doubts in her mind.....If its not for you, so be it but u cant jerk women around like that they need consistancy

 

[miamifinest]

Absolutely.

 

[CammieCummz]

Probably not the best place/forum to discuss this, but I need advice from people that understand this lifestyle.

My wife and I have been married six plus years, together for nine. Very early in our relationship my wife, then girlfriend, expressed to me a strong attraction to black men, although she had never dated a black man. This was before I had expressed any of my cuckold feelings to her, which had started during my previous relationship. I think this set in motion my desire to share her which has developed over the years.

My wife and I have been discussing this for almost the entirety of our relationship in some form or another. Her interest level in pursuing this in reality has waxed and waned. I would say only once have we ever started to put an action plan in place to make it happen and it died very early on because I got jealous. Regardless, this fantasy has formed the basis of our sex life for years. Nothing turns either of us on as much as this.

We now have a toddler. Parenting is super hard and it hasn't been easy on our sex life. Truthfully, the frequency of our sex life has been an issue since we got married. In good times, it's once a week and in bad times once a month. It's been an issue between us. Recently, I've felt ready to make our fantasy a reality. For a while, she wanted to lose the pregnancy weight before giving it a go.

Two weeks ago we had a very frank and honest discussion about our sex life and she told me that she's been trying to get over some of the religious sexual hangups that she thinks have been holding her back and limiting our intimacy. It was a really good conversation, but I kinda thought like some of our previous ones it wouldn't go anywhere. Boy, was I wrong. We fucked five times in a week and it was great. Then, last Saturday out of the blue she downloaded tinder, and started matching and chatting to black guys.

She was turned off by a lot of the guys but really hit it off with two guys. I was initially very excited and supportive about all of this but as the week has worn on I've been hit with increasing jealousy. I think this is related to a variety of factors. Her willingness to do things with and for them she won't or rarely does with me. Her desire for the boyfriend experience, primarily her attraction to someone she has more in common with than with them being conventionally attractive. There's a lot happening here. I felt my increasing anxiety and asked her if she could stop texting them until we figure some stuff out. The conversation had become very sexual and she had even sent them pics of her in her panties and bra. Might not seem like a lot to you guys but it's amazing if you knew my wife. My wife said she would stop but still proceeded to send a few more texts before winding things down.

I told her today that I'm struggling with this thing that I was sure I wanted but now I'm not so sure. She's very upset and feels rightfully jerked around. I get her point but we also said we'd be honest and let each other know if we weren't comfortable or wanted to stop. I feel like something in her has been unleashed and it's exciting but I can tell she doesn't have a lot of interest to going back to how things were. She wants to move forward with these guys. I'm now questioning if I take want to be this person and why I want someone who doesn't think I'm enough. Feels like the genie is out of the bottle and I'm not sure I'm emotionally capable of dealing with these feelings. I want to talk to a therapist and figure it out but it will take time. Time that I'm not sure my wife wants to wait on.

Honest opinion, where do we go from here? We love each other and have a baby but we may want different things now

Apparently you dont feel like you add anything to your marriage that she cant replace with some other guy. Whats wrong with you is my first question - do you not provide any unique value to your wife?

And if that answer is "no" then you might as well encourage her fucking others so you can get your kicks off now because shes leaving you regardless of whether she fucks others or not

 

[geecrizz]

Probably not the best place/forum to discuss this, but I need advice from people that understand this lifestyle.

My wife and I have been married six plus years, together for nine. Very early in our relationship my wife, then girlfriend, expressed to me a strong attraction to black men, although she had never dated a black man. This was before I had expressed any of my cuckold feelings to her, which had started during my previous relationship. I think this set in motion my desire to share her which has developed over the years.

My wife and I have been discussing this for almost the entirety of our relationship in some form or another. Her interest level in pursuing this in reality has waxed and waned. I would say only once have we ever started to put an action plan in place to make it happen and it died very early on because I got jealous. Regardless, this fantasy has formed the basis of our sex life for years. Nothing turns either of us on as much as this.

We now have a toddler. Parenting is super hard and it hasn't been easy on our sex life. Truthfully, the frequency of our sex life has been an issue since we got married. In good times, it's once a week and in bad times once a month. It's been an issue between us. Recently, I've felt ready to make our fantasy a reality. For a while, she wanted to lose the pregnancy weight before giving it a go.

Two weeks ago we had a very frank and honest discussion about our sex life and she told me that she's been trying to get over some of the religious sexual hangups that she thinks have been holding her back and limiting our intimacy. It was a really good conversation, but I kinda thought like some of our previous ones it wouldn't go anywhere. Boy, was I wrong. We fucked five times in a week and it was great. Then, last Saturday out of the blue she downloaded tinder, and started matching and chatting to black guys.

She was turned off by a lot of the guys but really hit it off with two guys. I was initially very excited and supportive about all of this but as the week has worn on I've been hit with increasing jealousy. I think this is related to a variety of factors. Her willingness to do things with and for them she won't or rarely does with me. Her desire for the boyfriend experience, primarily her attraction to someone she has more in common with than with them being conventionally attractive. There's a lot happening here. I felt my increasing anxiety and asked her if she could stop texting them until we figure some stuff out. The conversation had become very sexual and she had even sent them pics of her in her panties and bra. Might not seem like a lot to you guys but it's amazing if you knew my wife. My wife said she would stop but still proceeded to send a few more texts before winding things down.

I told her today that I'm struggling with this thing that I was sure I wanted but now I'm not so sure. She's very upset and feels rightfully jerked around. I get her point but we also said we'd be honest and let each other know if we weren't comfortable or wanted to stop. I feel like something in her has been unleashed and it's exciting but I can tell she doesn't have a lot of interest to going back to how things were. She wants to move forward with these guys. I'm now questioning if I take want to be this person and why I want someone who doesn't think I'm enough. Feels like the genie is out of the bottle and I'm not sure I'm emotionally capable of dealing with these feelings. I want to talk to a therapist and figure it out but it will take time. Time that I'm not sure my wife wants to wait on.

Honest opinion, where do we go from here? We love each other and have a baby but we may want different things now

I find it odd that you have been fantasizing this scenario with your wife for the entirety of your relationship but you didn’t REALLY think about it. I have to agree with the poster above that you are manipulative. But worse than that, you are somewhat immature and showing her a lot of weakness. Once you convince your woman to make this a reality, and then go backwards on her because you are scared, you have already begun down the road of losing her respect. Believe me, she’s already starting to see you differently and it’s not in a good way. The genie IS out of the bottle and she wants this to happen for herself and you. My prediction is that she will eventually make it happen with or without you now. She may oblige you by observing a “cool off” period as you described it but I promise she’s still thinking about it as much as ever and now you’ve opened that door for her to start keeping things to herself. Oh, and by the way, I’m not sitting here stroking off trying to get you to do this for some vicarious thrill like someone else advised you. I couldn’t care less because I don’t know you. I’m just giving you insight into what a woman in this position thinks and wants because I have some experience with it. If she shuts it down completely and your marriage doesn’t suffer permanent damage from going back and forth, she is the exception not the rule. And any man that has to count on his wife being an exception to the rule is most likely headed for a hard fall. Before I told my wife I’d like her to fuck other guys, I made sure that I felt that way even after I busted a nut fantasizing about it. And it was still difficult at different points in the beginning. No pain, no gain. Your physical reaction to the jealousy is exactly what makes it hot.

 

[JessicaUK]

A woman is allowed to change her mind, don’t make this all about you. I think you should be respectful of her wishes whatever she decides and focus on ensuring the baby is both of your priority.

 

[toolman2c]

You’re the one who pressured her into this and now she’s enjoying the attention you’re jealous. You’re the one who needs to come to terms with this, not her. You fantasised about this and in your fantasies you and her enjoyed it. Now you’re still a long way off realising this and you’re jealous & now you’re trying to put the emphasis back on her for your problems. Just like you put the emphasis on her to test the waters in this lifestyle and she’s enjoying what she can see. It’s not that you’re not enough but you’ve offered a world where she can have escapism from for a while.
The problem is you’re feeling guilty and jealous because you’ve opened a Pandora’s Box and you don’t know how to deal with your feelings but you’ve made her open up to an idea and feelings she never envisaged. You have.
You made this happen. Now you want to withdraw it from her. You want to deny her and yourself. She will probably not trust you again and certainly probably never entertain this again should you succeed in pulling back from this situation but you won’t be able to trust her again because you seem to want to be in control. But you’re not. You’re not on control of yourself or this situation any longer.
She might go ahead with this with your consent and approval. You might give that tacitly. She may not go ahead or it may but you may never know. Which would you choose?

i really like ur statement Lou, its a done deal, has 2b,otherwise things will never be'back2normal' . and more likely she will follow thru without ur knowing it if u try n stop. it sounds like she may have been holding back her desires n needs, and now theres no going back to deprived now.

 

[Haywood72]

My wife started out in the hotwife life style a few years ago. She started have sex with white bulls with me watching. At this point it was also safe sex. Then see started going bareback if she had been with the guy before. Over the years she has had a few gangbangs with white guys only. The most guys in one session was 4.

Then earlier this year she had her first black bull playing safe. She then started fucking black bulls bareback and started seeing then sometimes without me watching.
She now has a least 3 regular black bulls and wants to have some BBC gangbangs. One of the bulls wants to start pumping her out and wants her to get some queen of spades tatoos.

She went out with 2 black bulls last night and hasn't come home yet.

She has told me that she can no longer feel my cock and therefore she will not be fucking me anymore and that she addicted to black cock.

So I feel that I have lost to black cock.

So be careful what you wish for.

 

[StewM]

You've done the right thing. To proceed when you are not ready or on board will ruin your marriage. She stopped. Sure she may be a bit disappointed but you are her husband. And you have a baby. Relax, take your time. Communicate and communicate more. If you dont feel you can handle this then dont. Sometimes a fantasy is best kept in the bedroom between you two where it doesn't get the chance to destroy relationships and parents.. There is no hurry here. No rush. Take your time and get things sorted out. Often times what you think you want is not what you wanted at all when it grows into something else. This lifestyle has a whole new set of problems for those who aren't prepared. If you do decide to proceed start slow. Enjoy her banter together. Use it in your bedroom. Work up from there as your comfort and trust grow. If you dont have trust then doing this will shatter any you thought you had previously. My best serious advice- throw out every reply here that tells you do it now or you'll never go back. These people are not interested in helping you or your marriage and the life of the baby with single parents. They are interested in one thing, there own titillations and sexual stroking. There is more here at play then just sex.

Annie, you are one of the most grounded people on this site. I truly value your comments and your advise. I wish there were more people like you here instead of the all too numerous one-hand commenters.

 

[NYCuckCpl]

We went through the same process. Had one great experience and really started to enjoy the lifestyle when hubby started to get a little jealous.
I have to admit that I liked him being a little nervous, thought it was a just payback for pushing me to go out with these gentleman.
However, I liked having a friends with benefits! Realized that the only way I could continue was to make him comfortable. So, I made sure to address his concerns, have boundaries and never hide anything. It worked! We have a great sex life and our marriage has never been better.
Not bad for being together for over 30 years!

 

[TylerSavage]

From a bulls perspective I let the husband know that I am only interested in pleasuring the ******* out of his wife and having myself a good time while doing it. I am not however interested in stealing his woman. If I wanted a woman full time then I would go be with one. From the beginning I let hubby know that I just want to borrow her and take out all my bachelors sexual aggressions out on her and then give her right back to you.

My only rule when I get contacted by a couple who is interested in meeting me for fun is that the wife must be totally uninhibited to express herself in whatever way that pleases her sexually when we play to ensure the best possible experience or I am not interested! I have no problem respectfully declining an invitation that seems like its accompanied by a bunch of jealousy and hangups.

If you poorly screen bulls it's your fault. You should know how: what they look like, what size cock he's packing, if he looks like he can fuck well because you have seen a video clip of his. What his conversational skills are, does he dress like a decent human being, and if he is attractive enough for your wife. If fail to fully and properly vet and screen the bulls then you are setting yourself up for a bad experience!

This gentleman has it exactly right. You both need to have honest discussions and boundaries the two of you and the bull agree to. I think the cuck and bull need a very solid friendship if this is going to be long term.

I also think you need to honestly determine if you can handle watch you wife cum like she never has with you and make sounds completely primal. But, as Estrellita said above, Pandora's Box is open, she may never want to stop. If she does, will she resent you or go deep underground and see BBC without your knowledge.

Myself, I would hold her hand and do anything she/they ask because she is giving you an incredible gift. Opening herself and risking being hurt by you and/or a bull emotionally or even more is really going out on a limb for you. For a woman sex is way more than it is for men. The reason why I believe is because when they open their legs for a man and letting him penetrate her body is opening themselves in a way which we as men can never truly understand. That's why I want this so bad. I want my wife to transcend into a spirtual experience with a BBC to go places sexually, physically, mentally, and emotionally where I can never take her. But if she goes there and let's me come along to watch and maybe even participate, she if giving all of herself to me. This is literally the most incredible thing your wife can ever give you, I would say accept that you can't give her this, get past another man making her lose her mind riding his thick cock and share with her the journey. Good luck.

 

[Justa_Blackman]

Probably not the best place/forum to discuss this, but I need advice from people that understand this lifestyle.

My wife and I have been married six plus years, together for nine. Very early in our relationship my wife, then girlfriend, expressed to me a strong attraction to black men, although she had never dated a black man. This was before I had expressed any of my cuckold feelings to her, which had started during my previous relationship. I think this set in motion my desire to share her which has developed over the years.

My wife and I have been discussing this for almost the entirety of our relationship in some form or another. Her interest level in pursuing this in reality has waxed and waned. I would say only once have we ever started to put an action plan in place to make it happen and it died very early on because I got jealous. Regardless, this fantasy has formed the basis of our sex life for years. Nothing turns either of us on as much as this.

We now have a toddler. Parenting is super hard and it hasn't been easy on our sex life. Truthfully, the frequency of our sex life has been an issue since we got married. In good times, it's once a week and in bad times once a month. It's been an issue between us. Recently, I've felt ready to make our fantasy a reality. For a while, she wanted to lose the pregnancy weight before giving it a go.

Two weeks ago we had a very frank and honest discussion about our sex life and she told me that she's been trying to get over some of the religious sexual hangups that she thinks have been holding her back and limiting our intimacy. It was a really good conversation, but I kinda thought like some of our previous ones it wouldn't go anywhere. Boy, was I wrong. We fucked five times in a week and it was great. Then, last Saturday out of the blue she downloaded tinder, and started matching and chatting to black guys.

She was turned off by a lot of the guys but really hit it off with two guys. I was initially very excited and supportive about all of this but as the week has worn on I've been hit with increasing jealousy. I think this is related to a variety of factors. Her willingness to do things with and for them she won't or rarely does with me. Her desire for the boyfriend experience, primarily her attraction to someone she has more in common with than with them being conventionally attractive. There's a lot happening here. I felt my increasing anxiety and asked her if she could stop texting them until we figure some stuff out. The conversation had become very sexual and she had even sent them pics of her in her panties and bra. Might not seem like a lot to you guys but it's amazing if you knew my wife. My wife said she would stop but still proceeded to send a few more texts before winding things down.

I told her today that I'm struggling with this thing that I was sure I wanted but now I'm not so sure. She's very upset and feels rightfully jerked around. I get her point but we also said we'd be honest and let each other know if we weren't comfortable or wanted to stop. I feel like something in her has been unleashed and it's exciting but I can tell she doesn't have a lot of interest to going back to how things were. She wants to move forward with these guys. I'm now questioning if I take want to be this person and why I want someone who doesn't think I'm enough. Feels like the genie is out of the bottle and I'm not sure I'm emotionally capable of dealing with these feelings. I want to talk to a therapist and figure it out but it will take time. Time that I'm not sure my wife wants to wait on.

Honest opinion, where do we go from here? We love each other and have a baby but we may want different things now

Seeee! That’s what you “Whitemen” get for planting these seed’s in your wives mind. Now she is “Lost and Turned Out” now you want to end her fun! If I was the wife I would say “No way Jose I’m having too much fun!”