He started it

[Kdog69]

My husband was really turned on by the idea of having a threesome with another guy. I finally agreed to it after a lot of dirty talk about it in the bedroom. He was in charge of setting it up and found a guy online that we met with at a hotel out of town. The guy he found was a big, muscular black guy that had a huge cock. The threesome was great and I ended up fucking the other guy like 4 times. Afterward though I have continued fucking him behind my husbands back as I can’t get enough of his huge cock.

You are fine! And you are not cheating. It is fun and we all know what this lifestyle is all about. Good thing can happen and bad things can happen.

 

[Nymedic81]

I think you could be prematurely judging the whole situation. We don't know how her husband would react if she tells him. It happened to me. I told my husband and he found it ... exciting. More recently, I did it again, but decided not to tell him at all. Why? I've been reflecting on it a lot. Psychologically perhaps, the wife feels a need for revenge for being exposed by her husband to this kind of experience. Of course, we say: yes! let's do it!, when husband comes up with the idea. But women do a lot of thing for different reasons than men. Here all women reading would agree with me. We think we do a lot out of love and to please our partner. In these cases, where the sexual principles of monogamy are broken, everything gets more erratic. I think I kept a grudge for my husband enjoying me being fucked by other men without him undergoing any risks. Women could also think their husbands are becoming or are perverts or bisexual. And then you get a lot of arguments firing in the part of your brain controlling sexuality that justify your new sexual appetite for BBC's. Personally, when my husband expressed his excitement about me becoming so adventurous with my bulls and later after cheating and becoming a slut, I thought why shouldn't I keep it for myself. Once you discover the marital bond of which sex is of pivotal importance - unless you're in a platonic rel - has been offered on the altar of sexual pleasure, cheating becomes less and less immoral. That I can tell.
All that said, I think communication can only make things clear for both sides. If a husband really loves his wife could also react in a positive way and stop all of this at once. Or she could do as well.

I think you fall in a small percentage of that! Most guys cuckolds or not would get pissed and upset! This doesn’t sound like the case with this individual! They had an agreed upon threesome and now he’s excluded for some reason unknown besides her thrill! To each their own I suppose! Just from my experience I don’t see this going well for her marriage!

 

[Swedecpl30]

It should be obvious to everyone reading this that you are acting in a very self destructive behavior which is very likely to hurt both yourself, your husband and possibly even the 3rd guy aswell.

But each to their own, some people enjoy making mistakes.

 

[Zonzy]

I agree, your putting your marriage at risk. When he shows up with his buddy, will you be doing both of them? If you crave one, imagine two

 

[allinone]

I don't understand. Your husband and you set up a meet with a third. His idea. Then instead of letting him know you wanted to do it again you've now started seeing this man in secret.

Title of the post is "He started it."

I'm genuinely confused here how openness, honesty, and a mutual want to explore new things immediately turned into a case of going behind the others back after one time.

Please elaborate?

EXACTLY

 

[Stlcouple0701]

I think you could be prematurely judging the whole situation. We don't know how her husband would react if she tells him. It happened to me. I told my husband and he found it ... exciting. More recently, I did it again, but decided not to tell him at all. Why? I've been reflecting on it a lot. Psychologically perhaps, the wife feels a need for revenge for being exposed by her husband to this kind of experience. Of course, we say: yes! let's do it!, when husband comes up with the idea. But women do a lot of thing for different reasons than men. Here all women reading would agree with me. We think we do a lot out of love and to please our partner. In these cases, where the sexual principles of monogamy are broken, everything gets more erratic. I think I kept a grudge for my husband enjoying me being fucked by other men without him undergoing any risks. Women could also think their husbands are becoming or are perverts or bisexual. And then you get a lot of arguments firing in the part of your brain controlling sexuality that justify your new sexual appetite for BBC's. Personally, when my husband expressed his excitement about me becoming so adventurous with my bulls and later after cheating and becoming a slut, I thought why shouldn't I keep it for myself. Once you discover the marital bond of which sex is of pivotal importance - unless you're in a platonic rel - has been offered on the altar of sexual pleasure, cheating becomes less and less immoral. That I can tell.
All that said, I think communication can only make things clear for both sides. If a husband really loves his wife could also react in a positive way and stop all of this at once. Or she could do as well.

I find your perspective interesting, however, being revengeful is something I don’t understand. It takes a lot for a guy to be up front with his wife about desires the least any woman could do is try to understand and talk things through so it could work for everyone. Just my opinion.

 

[Rcp]

You're a crappy wife.

 

[badwife]

You're a crappy wife.

Wow! There we go. A wife puts her ass on the line and fucked with another man for hubby to jerk happily. Everybody say hurray! She ends up liking it and goes her own way and everybody say boo-oh! Oh! I forgot. She had to ask husband for permission... for her ass still belongs to him!? These things and the endless abortion debate make me thing we are not very different from societies and religions we like so much to criticize.

 

[Nymedic81]

Wow! There we go. A wife puts her ass on the line and fucked with another man for hubby to jerk happily. Everybody say hurray! She ends up liking it and goes her own way and everybody say boo-oh! Oh! I forgot. She had to ask husband for permission... for her ass still belongs to him!? These things and the endless abortion debate make me thing we are not very different from societies and religions we like so much to criticize.

So everyone should just cheat? No respect for your partners feelings? Guess I don’t fit in to the whole do what ever you want and everyone should be fine with it mentality. If a woman wants an open relationship that’s great find a guy who wants that type of relationship.

 

[badwife]

I think you fall in a small percentage of that! Most guys cuckolds or not would get pissed and upset! This doesn’t sound like the case with this individual! They had an agreed upon threesome and now he’s excluded for some reason unknown besides her thrill! To each their own I suppose! Just from my experience I don’t see this going well for her marriage!

Maybe yes, maybe not. I'm not a divorce lawyer. But if he's upset they should have signed an agreement specifying what sort of rels they consider legitimate and which not. Let's not forget: a large majority in this country would consider him to be a cuckold and to deserve the cheating. IR cuckolding is not mainstream, I think, nowhere. So, that husband should understand that reality first.

 

[badwife]

So everyone should just cheat? No respect for your partners feelings? Guess I don’t fit in to the whole do what ever you want and everyone should be fine with it mentality. If a woman wants an open relationship that’s great find a guy who wants that type of relationship.

Guess I answered it above somehow...

 

[Nymedic81]

Maybe yes, maybe not. I'm not a divorce lawyer. But if he's upset they should have signed an agreement specifying what sort of rels they consider legitimate and which not. Let's not forget: a large majority in this country would consider him to be a cuckold and to deserve the cheating. IR cuckolding is not mainstream, I think, nowhere. So, that husband should understand that reality first.

Yes he is by definition a cuckold wether willing or not!

 

[Rcp]

Wow! There we go. A wife puts her ass on the line and fucked with another man for hubby to jerk happily. Everybody say hurray! She ends up liking it and goes her own way and everybody say boo-oh! Oh! I forgot. She had to ask husband for permission... for her ass still belongs to him!? These things and the endless abortion debate make me thing we are not very different from societies and religions we like so much to criticize.

If cheating is the only option then leave the guy. If she can't sit down and have an honest and open discussion with him, she shouldn't be married.

 

[Stlcouple0701]

Badwife your basically failing to understand a “marriage”. I get your husband brought it up and you did it and loved it. So why not just incorporate both you and his perspectives into the new lifestyle choices you have both made

 

[NWHotwife]

Badwife your basically failing to understand a “marriage”.

Well said.

 

[badwife]

Yes he is by definition a cuckold wether willing or not!

Warm. You're getting closer...

But since the OP has not given more input for a while, I guess it is pointless to discuss it any further.

 

[notsocucky]

Husband here. My wife cheated on me after we started the “hot wife” lifestyle. She came clean about it and I found it INCREDIBLY hot. The kink for me comes from the indirect denial, being deceived, and slutiness. I can definitely understand a husband that would not be into this and needs full honest communication from his wife, but I needed to put in my 2 cents. There are some of us that cheating is part of the kink.

 

[notsocucky]

Also, I’m fully aware the because my wife knows and I am fine with it, that’s it’s not actually cheating.

 

[Hotwife4U]

My husband was really turned on by the idea of having a threesome with another guy. I finally agreed to it after a lot of dirty talk about it in the bedroom. He was in charge of setting it up and found a guy online that we met with at a hotel out of town. The guy he found was a big, muscular black guy that had a huge cock. The threesome was great and I ended up fucking the other guy like 4 times. Afterward though I have continued fucking him behind my husbands back as I can’t get enough of his huge cock.

Good girl Honey. Your husband opened up Pandora’s Box and it will never close again. Once you experience BBC, it is an insatiable desire to have more and more.

 

[MacNfries]

I have continued fucking him behind my husbands back as I can’t get enough of his huge cock.

I didn't see where you asked for advice, but, if you initiate threads like this, you should obviously expect comments. I certainly wouldn't rely on advice from those who don't have any skin in the game. So, I won't give you advice, I'll just call your attention to some things ...
There's that old saying ... "put the shoes on the other feet" ... how would YOU feel if it was him privately seeing another woman? You don't have to answer that as I don't wish to make you have to lie. The thing is, if you're screwing other men behind your husbands back its probably because you're afraid he'll either wish to participate in some way (ie. watch) which you don't want, or he might say NO. Which tells me you have poor communication relationship with your spouse.
You could simply ask him ... "would it be ok if I saw that nice black guy again?" ... if he says "yes" ... you can say you've cleared your conscience with less concern that you're dong something he might not want you doing. And if you don't CARE, then that's enough said about your relationship.
There is an up side to letting him know what you're doing, Jess. Imagine you're with this guy and he or one of his friends get pretty rough with you ... and you're seriously injured or worse. At least he knows who you were with ... and that's a major step in stopping him or his friends from doing the same to some one else in the future, and I'm sure you'd want that.