This is a common thing for husbands, especially in early years. I'm not saying it's easy to keep your hands away from your dick when a BBC is fucking the ******* out of your wife before your eyes, but as you get more experienced, you learn to hold your urge and control your pace to prevent those feelings of guilt. Being caged can also help, but formost it's a mind game that you'll eventually learn how to play, even if he keeps fucking her for hours.
Until then though, you need to deal with the guilt, accept the hard reality-check slap your premature ejaculation offers and trust the process!