Posted this in another thread but seemed appropriate here...
I've heard the recommendation to get a realistic black dildo several times so I took the plunge & bought one for my my wife a while back. I wanted one that was very realistic and large enough to make mine seem inadequate without being so big it would seem freakish. I ordered this Eddie Diaz version from Amazon (A gay pornstar, but irrelevant).
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The description said this one was 8" insertable length & 5-3/4" around (I am 5-1/2" long). I think I imagined myself larger than I actually am because we were both shocked how huge it looked when she opened it and we both were pretty embarrassed. My wife's first reaction was more tentative than excitement, she thought it was just too big & what would someone think if they ever accidentally discovered it in our stuff. It kind of excited me imagining a friend accidentally discovering our big black dildo & wondering what my wife might be fantasizing about.
However everytime I suggested trying it out my wife was very hesitant. I have got her to try a few times but even with alot of lube she can only take a few inches. I think a combination of nervousness & embarrassment prevents her from relaxing. I've also encouraged her to try it by herself but as far as I know it hasn't become the exciting surrogate I was hoping for.
For the time being I am still more successful getting her off by going down on her. I also often tease her about whether she would prefer a big black cock, especially during sex when I sense my dick just isn't reaching the spot she needs it to. But for now she still just wants to keep things a fantasy & says she is satisfied, although she has made some pointed comments about how nice it would be if I was as talented with my dick as I am with my tongue. I'm still hoping her curiosity will encourage her to give her toy another try.