For us it is more finding someone that clicked with us on a personal level, someone that would be a friend and someone to enjoy talking to and hanging out with without the sex. Throw in great interracial sex and there is a comfort level that makes it more intimate with someone you are used to, and less apprehension about going bareback. Even more important is once you find someone that works out, there is a tremendous amount of time saved with no-shows, wannabe's, and the general filtering that is required to find someone that is compatible.
Not sure if boyfriend is the exact word, but it is closer that simply being a one-night-stand. Nothing wrong with the boyfriend acting like a bull though.