Anyone else struggle with this?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by lOCalcpl, Aug 10, 2013.

  1. lOCalcpl

    lOCalcpl Member

    As a fantasy, this stuff is very hot. As a possible reality its unsettling for some reason. I cant figure out exactly what it is that gives me an uneasy feeling anytime I bring the idea up with her. From what I have learned from those I have spoken with, many women need to be convinced that this is ok and its hard to convince someone when you're not certain yourself.
    What I'm asking is have any of you guys gone through feelings like this before you as a couple got started? Am I over thinking it? I have been known to over think things, is this stuff just a fun change up to your sex life?
    waynerobertson likes this.
  2. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

    , you're not over-reacting at all. The rush of emotions you get (and she gets) are the things that some ppl get off on, while making others feel uncomfortable. Jealousy is one of the prime drivers. For us guys that have those concerns, its primarily the concern that things could get out of control and your woman might become addicted/involved with the man or men she's having sex. Women do tend to prefer some emotional involvement/attachment that men don't necessarily need in order to have sex. Allowing her to date or privately meet men increases that risk because you're not around and its a sexual new experience for her. It'll play havoc on your imagination, for sure.
    My wife and I have been together 19 years now, and when we play (3-somes & couples), we do it together. We never, individually, go out on dates or meet with lovers. If you do convince your lady to try another man, you might consider starting there. Set parameters & rules (together) that the 2 of you are comfortable with, and stick to them. Mac :)
    #2 MacNfries, Aug 10, 2013
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2013
  3. lOCalcpl

    lOCalcpl Member

    Solid advice...very much appreciated
  4. Flcouple38

    Flcouple38 Member

    Nothing wrong with anything you have said or are feeling. This in my opinion is normal. Women who are raised a certain way or brought up are not normally going to do this on their own unless something is wrong with the relationship. it does take some convincing and teasing/work. The feelings of going from fantasy to reality has hit both of us when we did this, at one time me and another time him. More me even though I like it and one or two times him.

    Always important to have rules and safe words. Be safe and know limits. Let things progress naturally and do not force it. Also make sure the woman is in charge and as the guy you are not ordering her to do things as this will not be as fun for her. She will go where she wants. If anything is very off limits respect it for either party or do not do it.

    Lots of advice I can give, but remember this is normal as not a normal thing we were raised to do but can be fun when being bad.
  5. Torpedo

    Torpedo Well-Known Member Gold Member

    In my younger days I did a lot of threesomes and more for awhile. I noticed that once I got my cock or most of it into a woman and started giving her a proper fucking that the male half would have one of two expressions. Either he was really turned on and a few actually orgasm-ed just from watching me fuck their wife/girlfriend. Or they would have a scared or panicked look on their face. Many women especially the first time they have a big one can get completely lost in the moment and not be thinking or be concerned about anything other than what I have stuffed in her pussy. Some men just can't handle that. The scared or panicked men rarely returned, sometimes their wives/girlfriends did without their husbands

    Now I restrict myself to a mostly closed group and none of the women actively involve their husbands and there is a lot less drama.

    If you are going to open your relationship to other people you need to be secure in your existing relationship. Additional participants can add a lot in more ways than one. But you have to be working from a strong relationship. If you are having problems, opening up your relationship isn't going to fix anything, in fact it can hasten the end
    MacNfries likes this.