Worried

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kandi_in_Michigan, Jun 23, 2015.

  1. Kandi_in_Michigan

    Kandi_in_Michigan Member

    Gender:
    Female
    I am a independent divorced woman with 3 children from previous marriage. I have dated quite a few black men and around here other whites, kind of look down on me for it. We kind of live in a little bit of a redneck community that up until a few years ago was almost all white. My eldest daughter is in high school and has expressed interest in black boys at school and been on a few dates too. She is starting to get harassed. Should I move to a more mixed part of town or should we stay and have her learn to be strong and how life is? I am looking for honest opinions here and don't really want to hear all of the cucks fantasies. Thanks in advance.
     
  2. jallig

    jallig Active Member

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    Male
    i think you should move. what s the point of living in a community that doesn t share the same values, opinion, or way of life. you can learn how to be stro,g everywhere in the world
     
    Ernest likes this.
  3. snowman61

    snowman61 Active Member

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    Helo I would stay where your at tell her to be strong it the way of new would also very hot your into bbc too :)
     
    jazz smooth likes this.
  4. Kandi_in_Michigan

    Kandi_in_Michigan Member

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    Snowman61, I date about 85% black and still 15% white. Even though the ratio seems to keep getting darker. :)
     
  5. snowman61

    snowman61 Active Member

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    nice I am so ok with you going black only I think all white woman should :)
     
    theshaw81 and michelle sd like this.
  6. IndyInterracial

    IndyInterracial Member

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    I would move. Harassment takes all different forms and it can also become more severe as time goes on. What kind of harassment is she experiencing?
     
  7. Kandi_in_Michigan

    Kandi_in_Michigan Member

    Gender:
    Female
    At school, she is called names and they all talk shit about her. Some of the girls even gang up and get into fight with her. She lost most of her friends. The area is changing slowly so it is more mixed but when you have mostly white community with a slowly growing black population there is a lot of turmoil.
     
  8. IndyInterracial

    IndyInterracial Member

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    Male
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    I know how changing areas work. It can be really rough on people. This might just be a girl phase for the ones that make fun of her and call her names and fight her. It might not amount to much. I'd be much much more worried if it were boys. However, if you want to be cautious moving might be your best choice.
     
  9. Kandi_in_Michigan

    Kandi_in_Michigan Member

    Gender:
    Female
    I can take all the shit from racist white people and she handles it well. The white boys call her names and none of them date her. She is marked. But she does not care about that lol.
     
  10. cuckyboy69

    cuckyboy69 Active Member

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    Male
    It's a tough choice only you can really make.

    I just wanted to wish my condolences to you for having to deal with such narrow-minded people who haven't outgrown there tribal tendencies. I wish you and your family the best.
     
    RyanB and jallig like this.
  11. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
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    Schools do have anti-bullying laws and processes set up now; at least at the 2 schools our teens go to, do. It's hard to say, with the limited information you've supplied, as to what you should or shouldn't do. If you have a school board, or school staff, who have open biasness, you, yourself, have to decide if your beliefs and principles are worth the risk to your children. I imagine, however, if she is being harassed & bullied, then the black students are being harassed and bullied as well. So there's a lot more to this than just stating open biasness to interracial dating.
     
  12. tasmaniandevil

    tasmaniandevil Member

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    so you would like to move from where you are to a more "black" part of your town just in order to have more black men? are you kidding, right?
    you're daughter is being harrassed because she dates blacks? just she doesn't care about this.
    people move to another house for job, or school, serious problems...not to find more interracial relationships....
     
  13. MackJ

    MackJ Well-Known Member Real Person Gold Member

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    Move away to a more mixed town. It's going to get worse in smaller parts.
     
  14. Kandi_in_Michigan

    Kandi_in_Michigan Member

    Gender:
    Female
    I was not stating I wanted to move for my hunt of black men. I said it would be more acceptable environment for her. I put her before me for sure.
     
  15. tasmaniandevil

    tasmaniandevil Member

    Gender:
    Female
    And I just told you: if she just doesn't care about what people say, all problems will be solved in 2 seconds.
     
  16. Daphne&D

    Daphne&D Guest

    Not true. Bullying takes many forms. Not caring about it doesn't alter the behaviour of the parties and doesn't solve anything within two seconds.

    The hardest part for any parent is wanting to protect their baby, how far one goes when they are at teen age is a matter for discusion between the both of them. The first step should be notifying the school that there is a problem with bullying on a racial level due to the choice of partner. It's unexceptable on any level , let alone at teen age.

    Just because one isn't bothered by the bullying doesn't mean it's a problem solved. Why? Because by showing they are not exactly achieving anything worthwhile they just might esculate the bullying into something more serious.

    Also you seem to have taken more out of the opening statement by Kandi than actually was said.
     
    #16 Daphne&D, Jun 23, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2015
  17. pugnetti

    pugnetti Member

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    tasmaniandevil, you seem to have poor reading comprehension. Her daughter doesn't care what people say AND problems remain (bullying). Kandi already explained that her daughter doesn't care what people say and it didn't solve any problems "in two seconds." The fact that her daughter doesn't care what people say is good for her self esteem, but it doesn't protect her against social stigma or getting beaten up. Social acceptance is huge for teenagers, and it has a huge effect on their emotional development. A lot of adults carry psychological scarring from high school experiences like Kandi's daughter is having.

    In your place, Kandi, I would move to a more diverse area. High school kids are cliquish and judgmental everywhere, but it sounds particularly bad where you are. I grew up in a diverse area and the kids at my high school were accepting of homosexuality, interracial relationships, and other taboos. High school doesn't have to be a scarring experience for your daughter.
     
    MackJ likes this.
  18. tasmaniandevil

    tasmaniandevil Member

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    this happens just because she says that she doesn't care what people say, but in reality she cares...
    social acceptance, social stigma are just stupid words for spineless people...
     
  19. pugnetti

    pugnetti Member

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    Couple
    Thanks for sharing your gritty wisdom with us, tas.

    Your bluster is transparent. If you really didn't care about social acceptance, you wouldn't bother to write about it, let alone in such emotional terms ("...stupid words for spineless people"). You seem more vulnerable and resentful of social stigma than anyone else in this thread. It would be normal for Kandi's daughter to care about social acceptance; you clearly do. It doesn't make you spineless.

    Humans have a biological need to feel accepted. People who stigmatize others are assholes.
     
    jazz smooth and Daphne&D like this.
  20. tasmaniandevil

    tasmaniandevil Member

    Gender:
    Female
    ok thanks for your psychology class
    you don't know me but you know "I'm vulnerable and resentful of social stigma"...
    to be honest I think you say so because you're unable to set yourself free from social conformism...bad thing...
    humans have a no biological need to feel accepted but weak and spineless people, as I said before.
    you can call them inferior if you want...