Wife and I have been talking, would like some honest advice

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by USMCCpl, Mar 25, 2015.

  1. USMCCpl

    USMCCpl Active Member

    Hello,

    I see the wife has been on here from time to time. we have been talking about taking the first step into what ever u guys call it. We are looking on honest advice and examples...
    What rules have you guys come up with as couples? Do you have safe words? My wife told me when we were talking about it, NO ANAL, NO BLOW JOBS, NO or VERY LITTLE KISSING, CONDOMS A MUST. What rules do you all have? Please advise!
     
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  2. Hubbywife65

    Hubbywife65 Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Country:
    US
    Sounds like you're going about it the right way....THE most important thing is communication - both before and after the "experiences". Set whatever rules work for you, rules will vary from couple to couple, and you may decide to change some rules as your experiences grow.

    For us, we do have fundamental rules (boundaries)...although we don't have many. We also communicate those boundaries to our play partner(s) before hand.

    Good luck & have fun!
     
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  3. USMCCpl

    USMCCpl Active Member

    Yes communication, communication, and communication. We are looking for rules you guys and others started out with, how u changed them as u became more experienced.
    Would like to hear from a lot of people on this as it will make it easier for us to start out. basically learn from u guys mistakes, instead of jumping right into it with what we think is all of our bases covered..
     
  4. USMCCpl

    USMCCpl Active Member

    If Need be feel free to PM us with details. last thing we want is to step into this and not have all of our bases covered.
     
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  5. Hubbywife65

    Hubbywife65 Member

    Gender:
    Couple
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    US
    We have a lot of experience in this realm, and there is not a formula (or rule set, etc) that works for everybody. We have seen people come and go (this lifestyle is not for everybody), and we have seen plenty of couples who were torn apart. If a couple was torn apart, they either did not communicate, or they got into this lifestyle for the wrong reasons (relationship problems, and thought the lifestyle would fix it).

    One thing that is sometimes difficult for a couple to cope with or overcome is expressing true thoughts/feelings when talking about an experience. Your relationship has to be rock-solid, and you both have to trust each other implicitly. You both have to be able to express your true feelings without fear of reprisal. Some women are reluctant to say how much they truly enjoyed an experience for fear of jealousy from their husband...and vice versa. You both have to be able to truly express your true thoughts.

    Feelings and emotions most likely will be strong/heightened the first time - fully communicate (good and bad) about the experience. From there, you can massage your guidelines/rules as necessary. Also, either person must have equal power/authority to call it quits at any time.

    Best advice is take it slow, communicate, and don't let this get in the way of your relationship...let it be an enhancement to your relationship!
     
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  6. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
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    US
    USMC, I think you may have created a few questions for us who might give you suggestions. If you don't mind, could you answer a few Q's? And I apologize, in advance, if you have provided these answers in some of your other posts, as I haven't read them.
    1. What experiences with "wife sharing" do the 2 of you already have together? Not necessarily black2white, but just involvement with other people in general.
    2. You used the words "talking about taking the first step into what ever u guys call it". This leads me to believe this is more your wife's idea, and you are simply trying to buy into the idea. It's called cuckolding, which is much like swinging, except it's a one-sided swing; she sees other guys while you remain monogamous. Cuckolding is mostly focused on enhancing her sexual pleasures. So, who's initial idea of cuckolding was it?
    3. You also say "I see the wife has been on here from time to time". So, was it a surprise to you? How did you feel regarding discovering her being on this site and her interest in black men?
    4. When you take out *blowjobs, anal, and kissing ... that tends to cut out a lot of 'warm up' activities. Possibly your wife or you has concerns with intimacy or concern for large cocks. Care to expand on this?
    5. Per chance are either of you sexually bored with the other? Is there any marital stress currently going on by either of you?
    I'm flying blindly here, with Q's, but if the 2 of you have never tried swinging type activities (wife sharing), no doubt that the sensitive Q's need to be honestly aired before trying it. There's a high level of anxiety and emotions involved, especially the first few times the two of you invite someone into your love crib, and there's no taking it back after it has happened.
    Safe sex is always suggested, particularly if you don't know the partners or she is not on birth control. You probably should not allow her to go OUT on dates and return home. At least initially, the 2 of you need to do this as a couple. Fetishes such as cock locks, domination, creampies, subservient duties, cuckold agreements, etc are added per the taste and desires of the couple. Sort of like adding luxury items to a new car purchase.
    Thanks for any information you can provide to these questions. Mac
     
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  7. USMCCpl

    USMCCpl Active Member

    MacNfries,

    1: None! We have talked about it before, she has talked to my ex girlfriend from 15 years ago whom i shared with friends and coworkers.

    2: cuckolding, ok. My idea(HUBBY). I shared girlfriends in the past. I have suggested it to her before.

    3: lol, yes it kinda did, i am used to her not being interested in anything sex related. I felt awesome about it. I wish she would have expressed interest before we had a baby.
    4: My wife does not do anal, she hates it. She will not put a cock in her mouth, she works in medical fiEld, so its gross. kissing is not out just does not want there to be alot of it. That was the only rules she has come up with so far. She does not even do that stuff with me.
    5: none that we are aware of at this time.
     
  8. sw mi couple

    sw mi couple Active Member Real Person Gold Member

    Gender:
    Couple
    Country:
    US
    We're not very experienced but our advice would be to take your time and find the right person that clicks with you guys, understands and respects your expectations. The search process can be frustrating. Trust your gut if it doesn't feel right.
     
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  9. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    US
    I appreciate you taking the time to answer those Q's; it helped. I actually found some time to read back through your posts and that helped as well. Here are my thoughts on this. Note that my posts regarding this activity, particularly when there are children in the marriage, is to protect the marriage first. So, my comments may be fairly reserved:

    The fact that the 2 of you have no experience at "wife sharing" or even swinging, is a bit concerning that you're wanting to jump into the deep end of this pool to go swimming so soon. Some of your posts referenced a May trip planned to Jamaica to have b2w fun. You're running with the big dogs when you go there; a white couple shows up there, flaunting the white pussy, the natives take that very serious; there's no teasing them to see what happens ... you're either IN or your out. With the lack of experience the 2 of you have, I wouldn't suggest that just yet.

    Also, your personal cock pic was posted in one thread referencing it as "tiny" and cumming in less than a minute. You are NOT tiny by a long shot, USMC. And,if you can't hold your cum, there are several ways to resolve that, but the wife should not be seeking out large, black cocks due to your inefficiencies. When other men start pounding your wife, it needs to be for added fun, not due to her sexual frustration. Your wife should view you, at least, as a good lover. If she starts becoming multi-orgasmic on another man's tool, you are going to have ISSUES you won't like and probably can't control later on. She should not see you as an inadequate lover.

    Back to the swinging experience. I would do as others previously suggested ... move slowly in this arena. See how you react when another man touches your wife's genitals, kisses and massages her, rubs her ass as he dances closely with her. The emotional power pill can work for you or against you, and you often won't really know until it happens. So I wouldn't start OFF with just getting her BBC. Interact with other men on a more casual basis first. Possibly visit some swing clubs in your area when they hold their hospitality nights ... that way you meet people up front, clothed, to get to know them first. And, you need to be with her when she finally does consummate her black orientation. Here is a link to New Hampshire swing clubs:

    http://www.swinglifestyle.com/swingers/clubs/new_hampshire/

    Please move cautiously ... you guys now have a 3rd family member who's impacted by what the 2 of you do.
    pic_twocentsWorth2.jpg ......Good luck, Mac!
     
    #9 MacNfries, Mar 26, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2015
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  10. USMCCpl

    USMCCpl Active Member

    This is true we do not have experience at wife sharing, as i mentioned i shared my ex girlfriend whom i was with for four years. My wife has talked to her and liked some of the things she told her. I really do not want to jump into the deep end of the pool, i want to get advice like yours and others, lay down some ground rules. take baby steps. she has gone from not being interested at all to talking to me a couple of weeks back about conversations she had at work with coworkers about the lifestyle.

    I agree with you on the jamaica trip, wife has talked to friends, and coworker, and people on here about the lifestyle, now all of the sudden she is like lets give this a try.

    Great she has posted pictures of my penis on here. That is awesome. She says I am TINY as compared to her dildos, and they are huge, Shane Diesel, Sean Michaels, kris lord, chad hunt, bam, black balled, and so on. I will try to figure out how to delete some of the pictures she posted so I can post pictures of her toys. She said I cant hold my CUM, wow she always yells at me to hurry up and get done cause i go so long, that is news to me. Damn last week she came like six times in the hour and thirty-five minutes we were in the sack.

    I asked her to go to swingers clubs in the area, she does not want to be around anywhere where someone from work could see her. She is in the medical field and could loose her job she says. I am cool with guys touching my wife, we are both big flirts. We have gone to clubs, and well we have had to work on some issues at clubs not really at the club on the ride home. We were at a club one night and she was dancing with a guy that looked good, built like a brick shit house. I do not dance so she hits the floor with other men, they danced a lot that night, i watch like a hawk in case she gets in trouble or needs help. I watched his hands, they were going up and down her leg, lifting her skirt higher with each pass, I was getting hard as a rock, she was grinding on him. They were moving around a lot so every now and then i would lose track of his hands, but she was still grinding, one time when they moved back into sight his had was in between her thigh, and his fingers were missing or under her panties, she was having fun still and i was getting harder so I let it go. they danced for a lot longer, the way her body moved u could tell what was going on. On the ride home I asked her if she liked the guy she was dancing with. She replied with yeah he seemed cool. I asked if she did anything more than just dance with him. She replied no. Well he bought you and I a lot of drinks. Yeah so she said. I asked her where his hand kept disappearing to. i was laughing and joking around about it. She was mad then. denied everything.

    Same thing again at her friends wedding reception and same answer again. I told her I am fine with it as long as she is, and she is having fun and enjoying herself. She claims nothing happened then either, but her brother was the one who pointed it out to me. He told me later when he talked to the guy, who was his friend and co-worker, that he gave him shit at work for me cause he told him he finger banged the shit out of her on the dance floor. Wife still says it never happened. So I sat down and talked to her and told her this will not work at all if she is not going to communicate with me.
     
  11. USMCCpl

    USMCCpl Active Member

    I guess will take tye advice given, and try to move forward.
     
  12. MacNfries

    MacNfries Well-Known Member Sweet & Cordial Gold Member

    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    US
    I wouldn't give up on responses to your posts just yet. This is a forum, not a chatroom, so members come and go and will probably add their 2 cents to my 2 cents. Maybe you'll end up with a full buck's worth of advice and suggestions. :p

    One thing I already see, regarding your last response, is the contradicting information you're getting from your friend vs your wife, and some of the contradiction regarding your ability to hold your cum (as she posted here) vs her always asking you to "hurry up" as you mentioned. Do you think that maybe there might be some trust & communication issues buried somewhere? If there's an issue of trust now, think of how it will be when she starts banging some guys. And, it's likely she's going to become infatuated with some guy that bangs her "really good". How do you plan to handle that inattention when it happens?

    It's also interesting that you have a wife that seems to be on close talking terms, and in agreement, with your past GF. Love to know more about how that developed. Its rare when you have a wife or current GF that's friends/talking with a guy's X'es. Also, what brought about your past girl friend becoming your X-girlfriend? Did the swinging have anything to do with that? Possibly your love making skills? Don't expect a woman to tell you that you're a shitty lover, USMC ... they rarely do that. They just quit fucking you. So, IF you suspect you may be lacking skills in the love-making department, its best you rectify that before you send her out to screw other men. Just my suggestion ... Mac
     
    #12 MacNfries, Mar 28, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2015
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  13. USMCCpl

    USMCCpl Active Member

    My wife and my ex were best friends in college. They just recently started talking again. Found each other on facebook. Well i questioned my wife on some of her post on here and she said to me she was just trying to get the attention of the guys. She wanted to see if i would be mad about what she posted or if i would get jealous of the guys i am chatting with on here. Maybe you are right MAC maybe there are some underlying issues.
     
    #13 USMCCpl, Mar 28, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 1, 2015