Why do men "No Show"?

[omgcouple]

Here is a question that has puzzled me since I was introduced to swinging many years ago, why do men no show?

I just don't understand this aspect of the lifestyle, especially when you strike up a conversation with someone and become more familiar with them.

Now just to be clear, I just don't jump right in the sack with someone because they send an email. I get to know them and make sure that I feel comfortable because once everyone is comfortable then the alone time will not be so awkward. But when the time comes and things are arranged for just a meet and greet many of the men do not show up. Do men really think that women will just drop their panties without at least meeting the man first?

My husband puts it another way by stating that he does not understand how men won't take a moment or two to get to know someone so everyone is comfortable when it leads to easy pussy, his words not mine.

So, why do men "No Show"?

Thanks.

 

[poundcake26]

Moved to General Discussion. May get better press coverage there.

 

[DarthWakanda]

There could be many factors as to why guys no show:

Some people just enjoy the thrill of the chase.

Others just like the dopamine dump from getting that type of attention from strangers.

Some probably start off horny, jerk off, then calm down and simply ghost.

Others, are just intimidated.

It’s a bit difficult to narrow it down to a singular set of reasons.

 

[omgcouple]

There could be many factors as to why guys no show:

Some people just enjoy the thrill of the chase.

Others just like the dopamine dump from getting that type of attention from strangers.

Some probably start off horny, jerk off, then calm down and simply ghost.

Others, are just intimidated.

It’s a bit difficult to narrow it down to a singular set of reasons.

Thank you for the response, based on what you stated that would mean they truly never wanted to meet anyway. That makes me ponder if it is because of personality or looks?

 

[franzzzzCH]

Agree with all of the above. Also, they may not have been completely truthful when it comes to who they are....marital status, race, where they live....

 

[DarthWakanda]

Thank you for the response, based on what you stated that would mean they truly never wanted to meet anyway. That makes me ponder if it is because of personality or looks?

The key factor doesn’t necessarily boil down to you.

You have to remember this is the internet as well. You have pic collectors and posers that use this site too.

 

[Nhcuckcpl]

DarthWakanda is spot on. I find a majority of guys are here, or really online in genreal, for the fantasy and it has little to do with you. The second issue, I find, is it's a very intimidating situation for them. Realistically the relationship you'll have with them is based on sex. So, especially if they have talked a huge game, they feel a huge pressure to provide an amazing experience for you. Even some of the most confident guys that have rocked my world, giving me orgasms for an hour and still finish and ask me if it was ok. Just hang in there and keep looking.

 

[Madeofhue]

Title should’ve said “why do some men no show”

 

[Thickfordays]

Me and my husband had one guy we invited to our hotel not only not show up after we had confirmed earlier in the day but he asked to bring a friend with him! Like I couldn't believe it, after I told him no he just ghosted us. Lame.

 

[tandkinri]

We think it's because guys are totally into it until it definitely becomes "real" for them. We think it's like they're into the fantasy of it, and kind of want to follow through. They picture the couple on the other end as not being so serious and it'll be fun to have some hot chat. But once the couple proves they are serious by giving an address, the guy is like "oh *******, this is serious, I am actually going to have to follow through now!" At that point it's easier to just not show instead of sending a message saying "hey, I got too nervous and I have to cancel."

A couple months ago we had a guy very interested in coming by. Gave him the address, he said he was heading to his car and was on his way. This was through fetlife and when he was supposed to be arriving we could see he was liking pictures. Asked if he was on his way, and he said he'd rather we went there, he's more comfortable. Good luck with that!

 

[Davion]

Here is a question that has puzzled me since I was introduced to swinging many years ago, why do men no show?

I just don't understand this aspect of the lifestyle, especially when you strike up a conversation with someone and become more familiar with them.

Now just to be clear, I just don't jump right in the sack with someone because they send an email. I get to know them and make sure that I feel comfortable because once everyone is comfortable then the alone time will not be so awkward. But when the time comes and things are arranged for just a meet and greet many of the men do not show up. Do men really think that women will just drop their panties without at least meeting the man first?

My husband puts it another way by stating that he does not understand how men won't take a moment or two to get to know someone so everyone is comfortable when it leads to easy pussy, his words not mine.

So, why do men "No Show"?

Thanks.

I think a lot of men are not as confident in themselves as they lead you to believe, I’ll admit meeting for the first time can be a little uncomfortable though I’ll never just “ no show, no call “. For me personally I like to video chat first.

 

[Davion]

Me and my husband had one guy we invited to our hotel not only not show up after we had confirmed earlier in the day but he asked to bring a friend with him! Like I couldn't believe it, after I told him no he just ghosted us. Lame.

He was definitely a LAME for that.

 

[The Arranger]

if you are getting no shows all the time then i would say you are lucky.
This means you did not get the ******* showing up.
This means you did not get the stoner showing up
This means you did not get the guy that used the twenty year old photo showing up.

I have found that it take about twenty possible coffee hook ups to find one BBC that shows up.
I have found that it takes about fifteen possible coffee hook ups to find one BWC that shows up.

I have found that every time there is a police sting that makes the news either locally or nationally the numbers of show ups drop off.

It happened twice with Craig’s list once when they dropped the ******* section and again when they dropped the personal section. The same is true for back page. Not that i am saying you are a ******.

I always suggest a day time meeting for coffee. I sure all involved are there.
I always suggest knowing the location and hours of the nearest clinic. Suggest a visit. This does not mean bare back it just shows intent.

At the moment i know twelve ladies that like to play. I also know eight guys that like to play and that show up. This is not to say they all like yo play with each other. But they do.

 

[CuckCpl4BBC]

I understand that something better, surer, younger, etc may come along and distract some guys but they should have the decency and respect to send an email or text and let you know. Besides just being mean spirited it is also self-defeating as we women grow to distrust them and it effects our ability to enjoy the positive aspects of the lifestyle. In short the more assholes a woman runs into the less pussy available to all the guys as no one likes to be disregarded like that. It hasn’t happened often but I do take it personally even though I know I shouldn’t. My husband tells me “those pricks don’t know what they are missing” but in my mind there is a little part of me that wonders if I still have it. Still we have found many, many more gems than duds out there and boy do the gems shine.

 

[The Arranger]

Another benefit of having a husband / boyfriend / male buddy tag along. You have some one to talk to while you wait.

When i say i will be there i am. All the good things in life are there because you show up.