When it coms to the kind of black guy I would like to see taking my wife, I would go for thug/rough/blue collar, so 1, 2 and 3 - though not violent. I'd like them to threat her with just a bit of disrespect - pulling her hair, throwing her onto the bed, using her as opposed to being gentle, and I think that's what she would enjoy. Early in our relationship, she said that she enjoyed a guy who had a firm hand but that's not really me and I've never really lived up to that (and she has never me toned it again, tellingly, which suggests that she knows that).
Increasingly, I do fantasise about black guys myself, and I'd want the same type, I think - Not necessarily tall (though that would be fine!) but muscled, hard, tough. Evidence of being handy with his fists would turn me on, whether thinking about my wife being fucked by him, or if I was thinking of kneeling in front of him myself.