Different strokes for different folks I say, just like any lifestyle, vanilla or otherwise. If dirty talk or certain names don't appeal to you out the gate or at all, guys with that approach don't stand a chance with you either way. Or vice-versa. Appreciate that they are showing who they are out the gate and move on from the ones that don't float your boat. I understand general frustrations from the opposite sex, as we've all been there. But the caliber of folk you're looking for are out there. Either way, at some point you will have to go steps beyond the emails and texts because it's easy for anyone to be who you want them to be in print.
There are certain things that I'm not going to deal with period point blank. As a woman bringing up this topic though, I believe you'll get plenty of bulls, regular dudes, and straight up idiots coming your way. Eventually you'll get a large enough sample size of your preference to choose from. As you can see even from responses from some the ladies, some want exactly what you don't want from the fellas out the gate.
Again, different strokes, for different folks.