All of these terms have different meanings to different people. We do consider ourselves a cuckolding couple, but just hearing that, people have often made incorrect assumptions of us. Nothing against those who do it, but we don't do the sissy/feminization thing. Some assume all cucks are sissies, but not all of us are. We do love playing with power inversion, dominance and submission, but ultimately my (hubby) thrill is rooted in compersion (deriving my pleasure from seeing my wife experience pleasure). Part of my wife's interest in this type of play comes from wanting to experience submission to a man who isn't normally submissive to her. We both get a thrill out of seeing her grow sexually and experiencing a side of herself we hadn't known before trying this.
We do a bit of humiliation play, and I get an inexplicably intoxicating thrill out of it when the mood is right, but it's not the only way we play. It's done situationally, and my wife only does it because she knows it will add to the experience when she does.
We thoroughly respect each other and are completely happy together. My plumbing still works and I can satisfy my wife sexually, despite many assumptions, but she enjoys more size and stamina and a more aggressive pounding sometimes, and that's hot to both of us.
We're very protective of each other, and while certain things we enjoy may be seen by some people as abusive to me, we seek those who understand us, take the time to get to know us and what makes each of us tick, respect the choices we make as a couple, and enjoy the roles each of us contributes to the dynamic.
I am physically only attracted to women but have experimented with fluffing a bull or cleaning up my wife, in that context of submission and power inversion. Contrary to what some assume when reading this board, it was always done at the direction of the bull. These are bulls who present (and list) themselves as straight and we wouldn't argue. Often they're more alpha/dominant without being too aggressive or rude. I don't ever come on to men, and while my wife has admitted to some new guys that she's enjoyed seeing me do those things, she doesn't request it and it's not a condition of play with us. So masculine black bulls are out there selling this stuff even if they don't want to advertise it to the judgmental masses. I identify as "primarily straight" and sapiosexual. We don't really care if people disagree and want to consider me and/or our bulls bi, but we do care when people act like that's a bad thing or not worthy of as much respect. Bisexuality is encouraged amongst women in the lifestyle, and even couples with completely straight women will often play with couples where the woman is bi, so I don't understand why people say "couples with bi or bi-curious men will be ignored, I'm strictly straight." Everyone's entitled to their own opinions and preferences, but why the need to slap labels on everything? Strictly straight men play with my wife and there's neither issue nor pressure to change their minds and sexuality, especially not for me.
We also think it's weird when some couples say "we aren't into this cuckold *******," and proclaim their husbands' dominance. We love playing with both dominant and submissive people and there needs to be space for everyone. So to us, of course there's absolutely nothing wrong with submissive hotwives performing for their dominant husbands, but there's nothing inherently "more right" about one sex being more dominant than the other.
We personally like the thrill of exploration in our constantly evolving sex life together, from many different angles, and exploring the limits of our own comfort zones, but it wouldn't work if we didn't do it from a solid base of love, mutual respect, validation, and a desire to see our partners happy. We're glad for the variety in the world and in this scene. If you're more comfortable with the term "stag" than "cuckold" or "vixen" than "hotwife," that's totally cool by us! You might be surprised at how much we have in common or how well we wind up getting along. But we're not terribly concerned with those labels or distinctions ourselves. We feel like people should freely do whatever makes them happy, and makes their relationships more exciting and fun. We like to think the lifestyle is about open-minded growth rather than judgment.