Shy Canadian newbie :-)

Mariposa blanca

Real Person
Gold Member
Hi, all!

Will try and keep my long story somewhat short.

46 years old, married 17 years (to the guy I lost my virginity to), white female. Love my husband dearly, but after losing 100 lbs and gaining a bit of confidence, I started to wonder what it would be like to experience sex with someone else.

I love going to the Caribbean, and wound up getting seriously flirted with by a few of the guy friends I made who work at the resort I go to. One night, a few years ago, while I was on vacation with a female friend (hubby not really into travelling like I am), one of the guys and I were hanging out after he finished work. He kept telling me he really wanted to go to bed with me. I wasn't "brought up that way", raised in a very conservative household, so I told him I couldn't. He kissed me so passionately that I literally was seeing stars. Holy crap, that guy could kiss! But I still told him no. Even just kissing him, I felt guilty. When I got home, I told my hubby what happened. Things had been a bit rocky between us, but I wasn't going to just give up on the marriage just yet. We had a long heart-to-heart, and the crux of it is that he basically gave me carte blanche to experience whatever I wanted to experience. The open communication actually saved our marriage, as far as I can tell.

Since then, I did go back and have been with the guy who started everything, and 3 others. Some experiences were better than others (the most recent experience was actually a pretty incredible few hours, in that i couldnt even keep track of how many orgasms i had). Problem is that the guys seem to think I'm rich and I can afford to give them expensive presents. It may look like it to them, but it's far from the truth. I'm starting to get a complex, though. They lose interest in me once I tell them I don't have the kind of money they think I do.

I'm far from pretty, and carrying around an extra hundred pounds, then losing it made my body pretty crappy. But, if a woman is responsive and passionate, can't that kind of make up for it? My husband thinks the guys are stupid for letting me go (sweet, isn't he?). He tells me I'm beautiful. But I guess I am still working on believing it.

I know this post is very tame, compared to what people usually write, but I'm still wrapping my head around the whole situation. I'm still pretty shy, quiet, but am gaining confidence in my sexuality as time goes on.

Anyway, thanks for reading, for letting me share my story, and, if you reply, please be kind. :)