Everything I'm about to say is truthful.
In 2012 I got married to my loving husband. He's white, about 5'9" and a very good man and dad to our little boy. He's not really good in bed and seems emasculated when he's trying to get inside me at times, but I endure that. In college I had a Black Man as my guy and for the most part we had a good relationship. He was a typical Mans Man type, played football and generally took what he wanted when he wanted it (sexually). In college (USC), I was dating and met my now husband my sophomore year and at the same time was sleeping with my Black Bull. My husbands family was very well off and I had met his mom a few times prior to the engagement. His family is from very old money and one of the more wealthy families in Highland Park, Texas. My husbands mom never seemed to like me as hard as I tried. Just wasn't good enough for her "little boy" as she called him (that drove me crazy - he's a damn grown man).
When my husband asked me to marry him I said that I would on one condition. We went to a coffee shop and I explained everything including that I loved to be with a black man and couldn't and wouldn't stop. I know that about myself. I told him that I truly loved him, wanted to marry him but he would have to accept this need throughout our married or until I might decide to stop. I told him that if he could live with that then we could marry as after we graduated and that this had nothing to do with my being in love with another man, it was literally just a "need" thing. It felt good that I didn't have to lie to my fiancé, although It hurt my heart to hurt him. He started to tear up (it was pretty embarrassing in a public place) and told me he would have to think on it, which I understood. I honestly assumed that I had lost him and he would run to his mom (he's kind of a mammas boy). I also knew that any man with true strength would never accept these terms or a woman with type my needs. Surprisingly, a few days later he came back and told me that he would accept my terms, but that his mom could never know. AGREED!!!
At that time I quit my Black Bull and dedicated myself to this engagement. My Bull wasn't happy, said he had other women, but that I was somehow special. I think he loved that I was on the cheer squad meaning I was always in shape and very flexible. He said nothing about our mental or emotional connection so I took it for being purely physical. We stayed in touch via email over the next year, but didn't see each other at all.
So enough of my background. It was a beautiful sunny Dallas Saturday and I was being married at 2PM that afternoon in a very old well established Church in Highland Park. The morning was spent at the hair stylist, makeup, final fitting, etc... My brides maids had finally left me apartment and I was waiting for the limo to pull up in about 30 minutes. I got a knock on the door and figured that one of my brides maids had forgotten something so I just opened the door. My college Bull was standing at my door with a stern look on his face. He kind of let himself in half heartedly tried to stop him. He then cornered me in my bathroom and asked me the typical "are you sure?" three or four times. I told him that I loved my fiancé and I was 100% sure. He then proceeded to remind me that I was the property of Black Men now and could never be happy with a lesser man. At that time he turned me around over the bathroom countertop (full wedding dress on), bent me over the counter and ripped my panties off. He pushed my face into the counter and ****** himself inside me all the time talking/yelling to me. "Your mine", "you cant live without this dick", feel that inside you? etc... I fought back a bit but knew that my efforts would be useless. I wasn't on birth control knowing that I would soon want to try to get pregnant by my husband. I had to watch myself being raped/****** in front of the bathroom mirror with my tears streaming. He didn't care about any of that and was inside me for about 10 minutes. He finished very deep inside me, slapped me hard on my ass (enough to leave a hand print that I figured I would later have to explain) and walked out the front door silent. I tried to clean as much as I could out but he penetrated past my cervix and had to be into my uterus.
Short addendum is that my husband I consemated our marriage that night and I did get pregnant very quickly. I spent to the next 9 months scared out of my mind and to what the baby would look like. To my delight, we had a toe headed little boy who is my light.
I've never seen my college Bull or heard from him after that day. I have no idea how his life is going or where he is. I will say that when I walked down the isle on my wedding day, with close to 750 guests I was weeping. Everyone thought it was from happiness, but I was physically, emotionally and mentally broken from that day and was very sore. It didn't help that his cum was dripping down my leg during the ceremony.
I'm not saying my experience is a positive thing and I truly wish it had never happened. I do. But it also reminded me what the raw power of a real man was like after not experiencing it for the year prior. As much as that day discussed me, I also knew my Bull was probably right. I might marry white, but I was Black owned.
I have a lot of experiences similar to this one. I don't regret any of them because I know that I put myself into these situations, probably on purpose. So its more on me than them. A Black Man is just born to procreate and really cent help themselves. In my opinion. Its the way God built them.
AnnetteB
